Irritating neighbours

I do that too! I can see what annoying neighbour is up to, by watching the Ring doorbell videos. It is actually comforting, so I see nothing wrong in this. It is like watching a TV drama..

Our house is seperated from the street by a small front garden and our living room is at the front of the house with a large window with the sofa underneath, I frequently "meercat" if I see or hear something, I don't think anyone can see me though. 

Oh, I don't think it can breach the rules, surely. We are sharing experiences then coming up with potential solutions. Also, writing about it does relieve some of the trauma. It also proves you are not alone, and not being targeted, because this happens a lot, in many forms. Anyway, I'm sure most of us enjoy finding solutions to problems .

Yes I do!  I also put in a Ring doorbell also a camera at the back. My landlord kindly didn't charge the full price and I paid £200 contribution (the tenancy states, tenants pay for repairs to fences, if they don't belong to the landlord.

It was over-expectation - she told PCSO I'd 'gone cold' after helping her, ie not 'speaking'. Her idea of conversation is a monologue and ranting about previous neighbours  [I expect they had a street party when she left .] She was constantly trying it on' but I didn't realize. I lent camping items and my sofa cushions, then she said,' you said you were going to lend me your dressing gown too,' in challenging tone. From things she said, she had money but gambled it away. She began goading me - leaving planters outside my house, shouting when I moved them back. After a week I threw one back on her lawn - she called the police, claiming I'd damaged her property!

When I gave them the history [emails to the landlord, photos, their many visits about noise] the police officer was very angry she had wasted his time. Over 2 years I endured banging on internal walls, more and more sets of wind chimes, shouting and ringing the chimes by hand when I went in my garden also a noisy fountain sited near my bedroom windows. Then the incident I wrote about.

The officer explained he had to give me a written caution ['laying hands on her' i.e. pushing her off my property] - because I'd emailed the police with the full story arc. Nevertheless, this is the first police complaint in my 72 years. But in a way it was worth it -  she now has a warning for hate crime [landlord evidence of my sound sensitivity and refusal to stop provoking me.] and has to be compliant or risk prison.

Big lesson everyone, if you have a bad neighbour- keep correspondence, photos, install cheap spy camera[s]. Write to your landlord - then there's a record. The police want evidence but then they do act. The Ring doorbell is very good. After all, we are good at detailed record keeping!

Gosh! Your new neighbour really does sound like a nightmare neighbour. I wonder what made her think that you had a responsibility to take her shopping. It's one thing if she had asked if you would mind taking her shopping, but to assume and shout at you for not doing so is awful. The other incidents you described are even worse. I hope you feel safer since the landlord put up the fence.

Desmond1979 said:

It's the built-up areas where people wear their imaginary lanyards.

I don't quite understand what you mean.

Expecto_Patronum said:

Bizarre thing I find about living in a block of flats, I barely see my neighbours.

This actually doesn't surprise me. With houses, I have often found it to be the case that there will be neighbours who arrive home from work around the time, or be out in their gardens at the same time, therefore providing an opportunity to stop and have a conversation.

In the modern world, I think neighbourliness possibly has a lot to do with age and upbringing. In the cul-de-sac where I live, it seems to be the case that the neighbourly neighbours are 40+. Some neighbourhoods seem to be more neighbourly than others.

Autismman said:

I’ve got nosy neighbours who are curtain twitchers

I have to confess that some of my neighbours possibly consider me to be a nosy curtain twitcher. If I happen to be near my windows and something catches my attention, I find it impossible not to look. I'm a curious person and looking out of windows and watching the world go by is something I have done since early childhood.

If I see my neighbours chatting to each other outside, I consider it lovely that they are being neighbourly and talking to each other, even though some of their conversations might seem uninteresting to me. With the exception of the one neighbour, they are a pretty decent bunch.

I’ve got nosy neighbours who are curtain twitchers and seem to know how many times a day I leave the house, what I had for breakfast and my blood type. They often group up with each other for a good chinwag and stand on the pavement like they own the public path, I’m surprised they haven’t dissected it up yet and claimed ownership of it. Perhaps it’s my lack of care for mundane issues like overgrown gardens but some people simply have nothing else going on in their lives so like to stir up trouble for others. And as you stated at the end of your post there they could just have a friendly non confrontational chat with you about the garden without involving local authorities which is going to be seen as a step too far. 

I understand how you feel, I also live in a block of flats and I rarely mix with my neighbours.   Only contact with people below was them complaining that water was leaking from my flat into their ceiling.

Bizarre thing I find about living in a block of flats, I barely see my neighbours. I assumed you'd see them more living in the same building but I've lived here for a long time now and I so rarely even walk past them. I don't hear them an awful lot either fortunately. I did have one younger person living opposite me for a short amount of time who liked a party, that was a struggle. But she didn't live there long.

I don't have a garden either which is a good thing because I'd never get on top of it.

You are right though, they should have approached you first and discussed it with you. It might just be TV warping my perception but I feel like the modern world has taken away a lot of neighbourlyness. Communities are not as tight knit as they used to be and rather than take an interest in your neighbour people are just ready with the complaints instead.

Scary!! People are very frightening sometimes.

Our homes are our save havens and no one should be allowed to violate that. 

Thank goodness for your considerate landlord and the 6' fence.

Enjoy the 99%.(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Fortunately, I get on with my neighbours. Though, having said that, rural areas aren't as nosey towards neighbours. It's the built-up areas where people wear their imaginary lanyards.

Yes, a couple of my social housing neighbours can be a nightmare. I took my new neighbour shopping then lent her camping stuff because she wanted to stay overnight before she moved in. When she did, she started ranting at me because I would not take her shopping and speak to her every day. I explained via the Landlord about my autism, thinking she would understand - she told me she has an autistic son [not living with her]. A few weeks later she banged on my back windows and when I went out started shouting, calling me a witch. I ran in and fell over, but got up and pushed her off the property, telling her to get indoors. Then the police called because she claimed I'd 'attacked' her when she came to help me when I fell! I got a police warning but later, when I proved she had been needling me 2 years with noise, she was given a warning for hate crime. Very stressful, though she got her just dessert. The landlord's put up a 6' fence now, so I have peace 99% of the time.

Great idea! Contact Chris Packham - ask if he'd visit to look for interesting wildlife and insects. Then get the local wildlife trust to help put up insect and bat boxes and hedgehog homes, contacting the local rag to offer this as, 'save the planet' news.  You'll become local eco hero - annoying neighbour will be the one who's ostracized..

Rats are very intelligent - I used to get told off for feeding them bird suet balls on the boatyard where I used to live. Unlike humans, rats self-regulate the size of colonies according to the food available. Pity that doesn't happen in social housing  .

Where I live, general waste (which currently includes food waste) is collected weekly. I live in an urban area approximately 1 mile away from the nearest town, with a convenience store less than ½ a mile away. There has (sadly) always been an issue with litter due to people being too lazy to dispose of it in a public bin, or take their rubbish home with them.

There is a public pathway that runs past the back of my garden, which links up with one that runs past the side of my house and the footpath outside the front of my house. I'm forever having to pick up litter off my drive, and dispose of drink cans and bottles that have been chucked over my garden fence by thoughtless idiots who just don't care.

Rats are everywhere in our towns and cities, I think there are more urban ones than rural ones. They're far more likely to be attracted by food waste than accessability to your loft, how often do the council collect rubbish? Are there fast food outlets nearby that don't have enough bins, do people who use them chuck their leftovers on the pavement?

Thankfully, it is rare that I come into direct contact with the nightmare person. Whilst I won't deny that I find them irksome and felt angered by their decision to make a formal complaint without sharing their concerns with me first, it was not to the extent that I had sleepless nights.

If the nightmare person lived next door to me, then I would probably be an absolute wreck. Fortunately (for me) they don't, which makes it considerably easier to avoid them. 

When it comes to your nightmare neighbour, then, perhaps it is best to see them as a nightmare person. Unfortunately, these individuals crop up in our lives in different ways. They can be very destructive, and it can be difficult or impossible to stop them. All that can be done is an avoid and survive strategy, in my experience, and in your case avoidance is really tricky because they're your neighbour. Try to think about them as little as humanly possible. Good luck.

As seems to be the case with a lot of councils, my local council no longer has the funds and resources available to provide the services they were once able to.

Many years ago, my son volunteered for a garden-clearance charity, which received funding from the local council. Admittedly, they didn't deal with the likes of trees, but they were accustomed to ridding the gardens of elderly and/or disabled council tenants of overgrown grass, shrubs, etc, using commercial petrol-powered garden tools.

Although it's been made clear that the trees in my garden are my responsibility, our housing officer acknowledges and accepts that we do not have the funds available to enlist the services of a tree surgeon. The only thing she expects of my son is to keep on top of the rest of the garden. In addition to the trees, there had (until my son dealt with them) been brambles taking over the garden, which were 6ft+ high in places.

The nightmare neighbour (and his partner) rent from a housing association. Unlike me and my other neighbours, they both work. We (me and the other neighbours) feel that the nightmare neighbour considers himself to be superior to us because of that.

I could elaborate and provide more information as to why I and my others neighbours consider this one particular neighbour to be a nightmare neighbour. However, I'm inclined to think the moderators would frown upon it and deem it to be a breach of the forum rules.