Irritating neighbours

I think every street has a Tin Pot Hitler who thinks they have the right to enforce their will and what they consider right and proper on everybody else.

If you get more complaints you could say you have a wildlife garden! If your neighbour's that bothered about it, then why not offer to help you?

TheCatWoman said:

If you get more complaints you could say you have a wildlife garden!

If I'm honest, I'm inclined to think this might well have been what had driven the neighbour to make the complaint... the fear that my garden might attract the wrong kind of wildlife.

Part-way through the course of last year, a number of us had been having issues with rats in our lofts. The Pest Control person who had visited my nightmare neighbour was of the opinion that the rats were getting in through my loft.

My house is an end-terrace, and my back garden partially wraps around the side of my house. Much to my frustration (and the nightmare neighbour), I have self-seeding trees in my garden that grow like wildfire, with some that are hard to access.

Whilst the Pest Control person who had visited me last year could find no signs of an entry point, the nightmare neighbour's opinion was that the rats were using the trees in my garden to gain access to my loft and the other neighbours' lofts.

If I could afford the eye-watering cost, I would enlist the services of a tree surgeon to fell the trees in my garden, or at least get them to a height that my son could realistically manage. 

The shape of the problem seems a bit clearer. It is not simply a matter of a poorly mannered neighbour. It is not even the case that collective action between you and the neighbour could necessarily achieve sufficient progress. It appears that the authorities should tackle the issue because they have the budget and access to the specialist skills to deal with the trees and the rodents in a comprehensive way. Ignore my advice if you feel that it is simplistic, but could your son, instead of engaging in difficult tasks, contact the authorities (via an assistant of your MP or otherwise) to tell them that if they don't invest and act appropriately they are putting the safety and cohesion of your neighbourhood at risk? While budgets are tight following years of austerity they must understand that not sorting out trees and rodents in the short-term will have cost implications in the long-term. If the authorities can be persuaded to take the environmental problem seriously then issues between you and your neighbour could be dialled down. Perhaps you might then see that it was not simply that your neighbour was a nightmare but that both of you were put in a nightmarish situation by the inadequate response of people who have the resources to do a better job. I apologise if this advice has already been tried and I appreciate the fact that you might feel that significant better neighbour relations are a bit of a fantasy. Good luck.

The shape of the problem seems a bit clearer. It is not simply a matter of a poorly mannered neighbour. It is not even the case that collective action between you and the neighbour could necessarily achieve sufficient progress. It appears that the authorities should tackle the issue because they have the budget and access to the specialist skills to deal with the trees and the rodents in a comprehensive way. Ignore my advice if you feel that it is simplistic, but could your son, instead of engaging in difficult tasks, contact the authorities (via an assistant of your MP or otherwise) to tell them that if they don't invest and act appropriately they are putting the safety and cohesion of your neighbourhood at risk? While budgets are tight following years of austerity they must understand that not sorting out trees and rodents in the short-term will have cost implications in the long-term. If the authorities can be persuaded to take the environmental problem seriously then issues between you and your neighbour could be dialled down. Perhaps you might then see that it was not simply that your neighbour was a nightmare but that both of you were put in a nightmarish situation by the inadequate response of people who have the resources to do a better job. I apologise if this advice has already been tried and I appreciate the fact that you might feel that significant better neighbour relations are a bit of a fantasy. Good luck.

Oh, I don't think it can breach the rules, surely. We are sharing experiences then coming up with potential solutions. Also, writing about it does relieve some of the trauma. It also proves you are not alone, and not being targeted, because this happens a lot, in many forms. Anyway, I'm sure most of us enjoy finding solutions to problems .

Thankfully, it is rare that I come into direct contact with the nightmare person. Whilst I won't deny that I find them irksome and felt angered by their decision to make a formal complaint without sharing their concerns with me first, it was not to the extent that I had sleepless nights.

If the nightmare person lived next door to me, then I would probably be an absolute wreck. Fortunately (for me) they don't, which makes it considerably easier to avoid them. 

When it comes to your nightmare neighbour, then, perhaps it is best to see them as a nightmare person. Unfortunately, these individuals crop up in our lives in different ways. They can be very destructive, and it can be difficult or impossible to stop them. All that can be done is an avoid and survive strategy, in my experience, and in your case avoidance is really tricky because they're your neighbour. Try to think about them as little as humanly possible. Good luck.

As seems to be the case with a lot of councils, my local council no longer has the funds and resources available to provide the services they were once able to.

Many years ago, my son volunteered for a garden-clearance charity, which received funding from the local council. Admittedly, they didn't deal with the likes of trees, but they were accustomed to ridding the gardens of elderly and/or disabled council tenants of overgrown grass, shrubs, etc, using commercial petrol-powered garden tools.

Although it's been made clear that the trees in my garden are my responsibility, our housing officer acknowledges and accepts that we do not have the funds available to enlist the services of a tree surgeon. The only thing she expects of my son is to keep on top of the rest of the garden. In addition to the trees, there had (until my son dealt with them) been brambles taking over the garden, which were 6ft+ high in places.

The nightmare neighbour (and his partner) rent from a housing association. Unlike me and my other neighbours, they both work. We (me and the other neighbours) feel that the nightmare neighbour considers himself to be superior to us because of that.

I could elaborate and provide more information as to why I and my others neighbours consider this one particular neighbour to be a nightmare neighbour. However, I'm inclined to think the moderators would frown upon it and deem it to be a breach of the forum rules.