Irritating neighbours

Ahh ok I will give it a watch later. Thank you, I’m definitely not the brains of Britain but I do feel I have good knowledge with emotions. I mean ok it’s good to get fit and active but it should be for your own benefits not others. Say I hate going the gym but I really enjoy doing my ring fit because it’s a game but I get exercise out of it but I do it for fun and I benefit in return both physically and emotionally. 

I remember flicking through tv channels one day and there was the show called take me out which was a dating show and when the man came on and introduced himself he said he was a fit guy and the majority of the women turned their lights off as they didn’t want to go out with him. But I didn’t even think he was good looking and again too muscular. Any men I have had soft spots for are not too muscular, just normal I guess. 

Elfilis also do yourself a favour when you get time watch this whole scene. 

youtu.be/uX-fDW5r-0A

Great stuff! You sound like a clever person. As in emotionally intelligent. That will get you far. Kindness attracts kindness so you will always have what you need from that stand point. Heart heart heart I want to see more men with hearts. This makes my day not men who go to the gym or worship Andrew Tate. We need real men who are in tune to what woman wants from them. Thankfully I am in tune with what my heart feels so I know I will find everything I need in my heart. I love life in all it's manifestations. I want everyone to be happy and free not one person excluded that would truly be freedom

Oh wow that sounds super sad  ! I completely agree, live in the moment. I’m glad to know that there are people out there who don’t go on looks but go on personality, I mean I would rather be with a guy who is nice and kind hearted and treats well compared to these vain guys who claim and think their fit and are more interested in themselves. Vanity to that extend can really put me off. I mean my mum fancies this celebrity and she expects me to like him but to me he’s a very vain guy and in my opinion too muscular. But then I get guilt tripped for not liking him so I have to pretend that I do but it freaks me out ugh. 

Hey it really is. Beauty is in the small things humans are complex. I think a woman who is respectful kind hearted and loving is extremely attractive to me no matter what she looks like. It is this that I look for when I see woman. I think true love with someone who you want to spend your life with is one of the most beautiful things ever in creation. I was watching the `Others` it's a movie about 1920s Britain and the WW1 there is a scene that is very powerful the husband goes to fight instead of staying with his wife and kids in Britain. It made me realise..live in the moment. Love is such a beautiful thing. I would rather spend every moment of it with the woman I loved than fighting some rich guys war that has nothing to do with me. I cried so hard at this scene. Like damn this guy got killed at war when he could have spent it all with his family who loved him more than anything. I am on something else haha. 

Thank you, I’m not the only one who thinks this way! I mean all these horrible people who think they are good looking or try to be good looking aren’t but I was told that I do think these horrible people are good looking and I’m too jealous and stubborn to admit. I got questioned about it so much that it caused me so much anxiety and depression etc because I didn’t and still don’t feel I know who I really am. What happened to the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

Yeh I bet! Anyone woman acting from a place of kindness is extremely attractive to me more than looks. Looks say nothing. Character says everything! I believe in true love. Kindness attracts kindness and hate attracts hate.

My mum always says that to me but I feel that’s she just saying that because she’s my mum. I secretly think deep down I’m better looking than them (and I’m like the most modest person) but after all the gaslighting and bullying from my last job and from my dad when on holiday I’ve really been at a low. Like even more paranoid and questioning myself and my opinions etc. it’s a hard one to explain

Perhaps you are more attractive than them and it makes them feel sad . 

There is always the one bad person if you ask me. And personally I can’t help but focus on the bad person. I’m sorry you have been going through all this! I don’t know if this would be useful but have you tried talking to citizens advice maybe?

Aw. That's sad. Hey don't let them bother you. Bullies will always be bullies. Don't judge others and mind your own business comes to mind. 

It’s ok. I tend to keep myself to myself more than anything now. The houses I look on to seem to have trees in the way of their downstairs windows and they tend to close their curtains anyway compared to when I was living with my parents. Just a shame this kid who seems to vividly his Nan who lives next door to me has to give me a hard time. I can’t confirm this fully but today I’m sure he threw like a football or something at my bedroom window early this morning. But his parents don’t tell him off for anything, even when it comes to kicking and throwing stones at my door. I’m having to look into getting it re glossed now but then I think what’s the point. Forgive me for saying this but kids these days, ugh. 

I am so sorry that you have had bad experiences with neighbours in your past, and also currently. However, it is good that you at least have one caring neighbour who you can chat with.

Ohh no thats a bit to Midsomer for me, I'd end up getting murdered in some strange and unlikely way, I'll leave that stuff to Mum and her dead letter drops in tesco!

When living down south I was like surrounded by bullies from school and always had stone thrown at the windows and got a lot of nasty names called at us and even naughty words written on my patents cars. Moved up north and the people living next to us were the previous owners of the house. The other side were two new drs, I admit I took a dislike to them due to my negative experiences with drs but one of them was really good with my mum when she really broken her arm badly. But omg the ones opposite us were so horrible! I mean they took a dislike to us because of our ages, they also thought I was wanting to see their little bratty girls but they want me away because I was too ugly! I always seem to make them cry, i wanted nothing to do with them and then they got a huff because I didn’t show any interest! Another thing that would annoy me and even upset me was that they ended up getting super bright porch lights which they would leave on to keep us all awake and when it came to the curtains they would always leave their downstairs living room curtains open and if I was in my bedroom which overlooked them they would shoo me off so they could have their privacy and do naughty things but instead of closing their living room curtains they would rush up to their bratty kids bedroom and close those curtains instead. Would also be shouted nasty things if I was seen outside. I mean it may be water off a ducks back to most but to me it wasn’t and I knew it was intentional. Thankfully I am away from those bullies now and have my own flat. The lady downstairs has been very caring and has even noticed that I’m not very settled still but we tend to have a chat when we see each other. Otherwise I don’t really see anyone in my block at all. But now I have a bratty kid who lives opposite me and always cries when I am seen by him and doesn’t like the fact I’m now in the flat. I don’t know what it is about me that makes people cry but I have feelings. I can’t help I look like Hellen gravely or Medusa or whoever. 

As long as you haven’t a notepad on the side table documenting the goings on in the street and using walkie talkies with the neighbours it’s ok

No need to apologise for the addendum Marianne72 .

If the neighbour makes any further complaints, then I may well pursue some or all of your suggestions.

That's a good warning to publish. My Ring doorbell only shows our shared pathway so is legal - I can just see her when she or her visitors come and go or if she strims and leaves mowings over the path which slopes [dangerous if wet or icy]. The back garden camera is on the path and I showed the police the angle. But thank you for pointing this out as it is very important  .

Marianne72 said:

I can see what annoying neighbour is up to, by watching the Ring doorbell videos.

A word of caution on this - if you are recording your neighbours in their own property then there is a chance they can sue you for it:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-cctv-using-cctv-systems-on-your-property/domestic-cctv-using-cctv-systems-on-your-property

If you are thinking of installing a CCTV system on your property, and it records images beyond your private domestic property, you must be aware of your responsibilities:

- you must make sure that the information is not used for any other purpose than protecting your property

- you are complying with the GDPR and the DPA if your CCTV system captures images outside the boundaries of your home

I believe there have been cases where neighbours have successfully sued because someones doorbell camera could see into their home.

It is worth checking you are following the law here.

Sorry about this addendum, but I thought of a few more ideas.

1. could you go back to your MP, with your son, and ask if there is funding, or practical help,  getting the trees cut to manageable level? Anyone is entitled to ask an MP for help - he/she should have considered this, before criticising you.

2.The MP's office staff might know of other help agencies. Also, try Age Concern - I'm sure other disabled or retired will have overgrown trees  

3. would any volunteers from your local wildlife trust be able to help - they might have the tools/expertise to cut large branches.

4. is there a local Men's Shed who might help - or know of a retired local tree surgeon willing to help for a donation?

5. have you asked the council/HA if they would do the work if you made a donation it [e.g. I paid £200 for the fence, my landlord paid for the rest and the labour].