Irritating neighbours

Ugh I know I’m taking a break or said I would but I need to rant here. Omg I can’t take it with next door anymore I’m fed up of that brat kid crying whenever he sees me! EVERYTIME he walks past he asked why the old lady before isn’t living there anymore. Fed up of him banging and ruining my new door and now he’s even throwing and kicking balls on my window! The fact no one tells him off or anything! Must I be reminded I’m the world ugliest person? It’s easy to act like I don’t care but when I’m alone I end up crying I’m wanting to cry now! I want to report and complain but I’m worried I’ll get in a worse situation! What is it with kids born from 2013 onwards as to why they hate me? Andwhy do their parents and relatives hate me? Sorry I’m really struggling now

I've never looked at your face, but even if you had a scary mask I can't believe that I would see you as ugly, let alone the worlds ugliest person, because I know you from your writing's here I see a beautiful soul. As you get older what is on the inside will become more apparent on the outside and the world will see your true beauty, as that comes from within. All the pretty people with "nice" faces and horrible minds will become pinched and ugly over time, the lines in their faces will show that they present a face to the world like a cats backside, their foreheads will show scowl lines as will thier eyes and mouths. Your will show how much you laugh and smile and love.

Why do you believe you're the ugliest person in the world?

Maybe the lad was close to the woman who lived in your falt before you and thats why he's upset that she's not thier anymore?

Lots of parents don't care or are worn down and out trying to survive, or they dont' know how to talk about aging and dying?

You can get a restraining order or an ASBO type of things against them, by the sounds of it things could hardly become much worse. Are they tennants or owners? If they're tennants then you have some hope of getting them moved, if they own the place then it's much much harder, I know as I've been there with neighbours myself.

I've never looked at your face, but even if you had a scary mask I can't believe that I would see you as ugly, let alone the worlds ugliest person, because I know you from your writing's here I see a beautiful soul. As you get older what is on the inside will become more apparent on the outside and the world will see your true beauty, as that comes from within. All the pretty people with "nice" faces and horrible minds will become pinched and ugly over time, the lines in their faces will show that they present a face to the world like a cats backside, their foreheads will show scowl lines as will thier eyes and mouths. Your will show how much you laugh and smile and love.

Why do you believe you're the ugliest person in the world?

Maybe the lad was close to the woman who lived in your falt before you and thats why he's upset that she's not thier anymore?

Lots of parents don't care or are worn down and out trying to survive, or they dont' know how to talk about aging and dying?

You can get a restraining order or an ASBO type of things against them, by the sounds of it things could hardly become much worse. Are they tennants or owners? If they're tennants then you have some hope of getting them moved, if they own the place then it's much much harder, I know as I've been there with neighbours myself.

You'll have to be a kitten and think it through, fluff up tail, lay back ears, take a deep breath and FFFfffffff

I think the thing with my dad is that he never wanted kids and when he found out about my mum having me he just panicked and it was worse that I turned out to be a girl. People have said that he’s been more of a career person and thinks more of himself. Like one time when I lost some weight I was proud of myself for doing so but instead of support he moaned saying that I haven’t told him he wasn’t feeding me enough?! I mean he always turns things around, I have been struggling with the flashbacks today actually. I mean he would disown me if I got married and had kids and now disowns me because I’ve been single all my life and he wants to blame me for not getting married or that! Like I can’t win.

As for shrugging those horrible things off, for me it was always hard to do so but now after things have been like rammed in my face too much that it’s like impossible, as you say it gets harder to ignore the more it happens. I think you should be proud of who you are and by the sounds of it you have got more confidence, I could do with that especially when I get shouted thing at me. Say I might have to imagine that cloak, it’s just very hard at first to like think or say F off to the bullies. 

I wonder what people think a lesbian looks like?

I don't think people realise just how hurtful some of these remarks really are, maybe if it's just the one it's easier to shrug off, but when it happens again and again it's much harder not to believe it. I also think there's something deeper about having your Dad saying all this stuff to you, I think we take a lot of our imprints from the oposite sex parent about how to treat and be treated by people of the oposite sex and when thats nasty and personal like that it seems to go right in deep and it;s hard to get out.

I'm sorry these things happened to me and to anybody, but for me, these things have shaped who I am and I like being me, I think I'm OK, not perfect and nor would I want to be, but I think life should be like a pair of childrens shoes, fits properly, comfortable and with room to grow.

I've got to a point in my life now where I'm far less bothered about what people think about me, if I get anyone shouting stuff at me in the street or passing comment in shops or the old blokes who refer to me as Sir, like they're making some kind of joke, I just think what a sad feck, how empty thier lives must be.

Maybe you should imagine your self with a big hooded cloak like Claudia Winklemans in Traitors, only this cloak is made with a teflon coating and when you wear it all the nonsense people spout at you can just slide off.

Wow I am so sorry you have had to go through all this horrible experiences as well! My mum is actually a similar height to yourself believe it or not and she was her height since like the age of 11. I’ve also been mistaken for being a lesbian a lot, especially by former so called family members, because I’ve never been on a date and I’ve never really had many crushes. Plus they got annoyed if I didn't fancy who they fancied. But I have had crushes and boy do they hurt!  The scars that have been made by all these horrible people are never really curable if you ask me and I think you have been very brave to share all this and I’m grateful that you were willing to do so. 

This bloke didn't take the rejection lightly at all and yes he basically manipulated me and as you say now I feel that if people do like me or whatever then they must be nutters because of all the hurtful things he has said to me! I am always getting told just to ignore and move on but it’s not as easy for me. I also had these issues in school with boys who I didn’t fancy but in work it lead to harassment and even possible grooming. 

I just don’t understand why people have to be so cruel and tell us what to do and if they don’t get their own way they will bully us until we give in. Those people are so narcissistic but they won’t admit it and they don’t care and you just can’t win with them no matter what! My dad is also very bad with me as I said on my holiday from hell thing, how he criticised me for being too fat and ugly and why cant I be like all the other hot girls in my age group. Why did I have to be ugly and also thick? I mean all because I got an upgrade and also because some older man mistake  us for man and wife! Yuck!! He’s also moaned about how I’m not allowed to get married or that but now he moans because I’ve been single all my life. 

I had a lot of the same sort of thing as a young woman and teenager, it started with as a child really, with people saying I was a bit big for a girl and was tall enough to be a boy. My Dad was a big critic of my appearance all the time I was growing up. I was told my feet were too big and my voice to deep and that I was fat by many boys and young men, I don't have an unnaturally deep voice for a woman.

Life as a woman seemed to be one long list of expectations about female beauty and femininity that I totally failed to match up too, it was often little things, like not being able to get a foundation light enough for my skin tone, or tights not being long enough. I still get in a state of near despair when I need new clothes as I don't know if I'll be able to find any that fit. I'm only 5'10" not 6'10", but everywhere seem to only do clothes for short people and short women in particular, I used to get pushed towards the "outsize" section of clothes shops, where there were still no clothes to fit me, because it would seem that larger people are expected to be short and even shorther than normal, where are all these round people I wonder?

Men and particulalry young men can be so cruel when rejected or when asked out by someone they don't fancy. Let get this straight, this bloke asked you out and you said no, then he reacted by telling you you're ugly and nobody will ever want you? But he wanted you, so what does that say about his overall judgement? I've had a lot of guys say cruel things to me over the years, one guy told me he didn't fancy me and that because he didn't fancy me I must be a lesbian, because he fancied women, but not me and that was the explaination for it. My mind still boggles over that one, I've been told, had it assumed and been shouted at in the street by men for assumed lesbianism. I don't know why they assume this and can only think it's because of my height, they all seemed to have been quite short me from what I can remember.

I suffered a sort of body dysmorphia for years and would of happily subjected myself to all sorts of cosmetic surgery if I'd have had the money, I really believed I was ugly and unloveable and that anyone who who did think I was attractive and loveable was weird, lying and trying to do manipulate me in some way.

I think it started to change when I got divorced, I think I somehow divorced that old body image too. At the time though after a stage of near anorexia I was the same height and body size as super model Claudia Schiffer and I still couldn't get clothes to fit, now I was too thin and faced loads of hostility from other women. I sort of stopped caring after that and just started living a life that wasn't dependent on how I looked or what I wore.

But the scars are deep and society still tries to pick at them. Thinking back, if it had been a thing back then in my teenage years, I wonder if I would of felt pressurised into either being trans or non binary, just from all the negativity around my being female?

I would go to a PCSO now and tell them you're autistic. I don't know where you live but police are disability competent. Once they know you're autistic they'll offer support. Talking to them will help too. My aggressive neighbour was hit with a warning about hate crime and is now very quiet - she knows imprisonment lurks if she doesn't behave. If you don't do something, it will continue, sadly.

I was actually thinking about getting a little camera or something but I think the doorbell camera might be better actually, I’ll have to see how much they cost but I do think they are a great idea. I might look into the PSCO though too, but as you say I need evidence. 

Elfilis said:

I can’t help the fact that the old lady had died but he doesn’t seem to want to accept it

TheCatWoman said:

Maybe the lad was close to the woman

I'm sure TheCatWoman is right - the boy is grieving and too young to understand, thus the ASB. I think you can use this as a 'way in' without upsetting the owner.

1. Contact your local PCSO - either visit the police station or fill in a complaint form online. Tell them the issue AND you believe it's triggered by a boy unable to handle grief. I'm sure PCSO would visit to discuss this. You are not reporting ASB but a psychological issue, so I don't see the owner can complain -you are trying to help but at the same time being firm about the ASB. It will go on unless you complain, no doubt about it.
2. At the same time, I would install a video doorbell - like 'Ring'. That way, the behaviour will be recorded. The police need evidence but they will visit you and might visit your neighbour for an informal chat because of 1. 

I’m not too sure but I think they are owners  but if this carries on I might have to look into a restraining order. I can’t help the fact that the old lady had died but he doesn’t seem to want to accept it. But he and this little girl seem to enjoy banging on my door and then running back into their flat. I say their flat I actually think it’s their Nan who lives but they stay a lot much to my displeasure! As you say there are lots of parents who don’t seem to care and it does really boil my blood, especially when I get all the brunt of everything well that’s how it feels anyway. Another thing I suffered with since 2013 was the hormone/pregnancy excuse so that doesn’t help my C PTSD. I think they think being parents is all fairy tale and easy! I’m sorry I never really wanted to say all this but I just feel I need to get it off my chest. 

Oh and I know we have never met and probably never will (in this life time at least) but I want to thank you for reassuring me that you don’t think I’m ugly. I think I have a very nice soul and I personally think I’m a very kind hearted and gentle person who is genuine but unfortunately I have been taken advantage of. I keep thinking I’m ugly because we’ll all the neighbours here and where my parents live but also over the years I’ve been compared to so many different people but it was since my work issue that I have been manipulated into believing I am ugly and no one would want me and if I refused this bloke who said all this then I’ll be lonely forever. Think I’d rather have loneliness than be stuck with a creep like him ugh. And all these people who think they are “pretty” or something are not at all in my opinion but that’s when I was told I do think they are nice looking I’m too jealous to admit it. Like I’m fed up of being told we should look like this or fancy so and so. I mean why can’t people just let us have our opinions and respect it. It’s hard to live with the unfairness I tell you.

Sorry this went on a bit but thank you for talking and making me feel better.