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Irritating neighbours

Sporadic Sparkly

Do you have neighbours who annoy the heck out of you?

Back in the summer, I received an unexpected visit from my council housing officer and one of her colleagues. The reason being that a complaint had been made to the council about the state of my garden. Furthermore, the complainant had also contacted the MP for my area, which had resulted in the MP putting pressure on the council to get their tenant (me) to sort out their neglected and overgrown eyesore of a garden.

My son had been with me when this visit took place. Although the housing officer could not tell us who the complainant was, my son and I were both 99.9% sure that the complainant was a particular neighbour of ours who has a reputation for being a bit of a bully.

Fortunately for me, my local council know that I can struggle physically. It was made clear that if I was perfectly able-bodied, the pressure being applied by the MP would have resulted in the council pursuing the legal route and taking me to court. That said, if I was perfectly able-bodied, it's unlikely that I would have allowed my garden to end up becoming an eyesore.

It wasn't the complaint as such that irked me, but the fact that the complainant had not considered the option of sharing their concerns about my garden with me first. I'm not an unreasonable person, or at least I don't think I am. 

I have what I consider to be a good rapport with the rest of my neighbours, but it seems like this one particular neighbour seems to take great delight in trying to antagonise and intimidate anyone and everyone to get what he wants. As my son said, if the state of my garden was causing the neighbour distress, there was nothing stopping them from going down the neighbourly route and offering to help me get it sorted.

Parents

  • Ugh I know I’m taking a break or said I would but I need to rant here. Omg I can’t take it with next door anymore I’m fed up of that brat kid crying whenever he sees me! EVERYTIME he walks past he asked why the old lady before isn’t living there anymore. Fed up of him banging and ruining my new door and now he’s even throwing and kicking balls on my window! The fact no one tells him off or anything! Must I be reminded I’m the world ugliest person? It’s easy to act like I don’t care but when I’m alone I end up crying I’m wanting to cry now! I want to report and complain but I’m worried I’ll get in a worse situation! What is it with kids born from 2013 onwards as to why they hate me? Andwhy do their parents and relatives hate me? Sorry I’m really struggling now

Reply

  • Ugh I know I’m taking a break or said I would but I need to rant here. Omg I can’t take it with next door anymore I’m fed up of that brat kid crying whenever he sees me! EVERYTIME he walks past he asked why the old lady before isn’t living there anymore. Fed up of him banging and ruining my new door and now he’s even throwing and kicking balls on my window! The fact no one tells him off or anything! Must I be reminded I’m the world ugliest person? It’s easy to act like I don’t care but when I’m alone I end up crying I’m wanting to cry now! I want to report and complain but I’m worried I’ll get in a worse situation! What is it with kids born from 2013 onwards as to why they hate me? Andwhy do their parents and relatives hate me? Sorry I’m really struggling now

Children
  • in reply to Elfilis

    This was a tough read, so I cannot imagine how hard it is to actually live through it. 

    I can see you have a had some helpful responses.

    I just want to add that you are not the world's ugliest person. You are a warm hearted, beautiful soul, just the kind of person genuine people look for in a friend/partner. Don't let a few ignorant people change who you are.

    Remember you are listening when you are saying those awful things about yourself. It can be very damaging. I am only now trying to erase the narrative my parents kept telling me about myself that wasn't true.

    Be kind and gentle with yourself you are coping with so much.

    I hope things settle down for you.

    (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠Heart

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I don't want to repeat what other members have said to you, but I am saddened that you have been struggling with the young child  . 

    One thing that concerns me is the belief you have that you are ugly. Having read your earlier response to TheCatWoman, I am aware of what triggered that belief. The person who triggered that belief is in your past. It was cruel of them to say those things and it's possible that they didn't actually mean what they said, but had said those things just to be cruel and hurt you.

    This is just my opinion, but holding onto that belief means that you're effectively allowing that person from your past to still have control over you. What that person may or may not have thought about you is irrelevant now. What I suppose I'm trying to say is that it is time to take back control.

    For what it's worth, I've never considered myself to be physically attractive. It used to bother me, but now it doesn't. If someone considers me to be physically unattractive, it doesn't necessarily mean that every other person will think the same. As a woman in my early fifties, I have laughter lines at the corners of my mouth, permanent furrows on my forehead, chipped/missing teeth, and the skin on my hands is losing its elasticity. If other people think I look repulsive, then shame on them for being so shallow. There's more to beauty than what a person looks like.

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I've never looked at your face, but even if you had a scary mask I can't believe that I would see you as ugly, let alone the worlds ugliest person, because I know you from your writing's here I see a beautiful soul. As you get older what is on the inside will become more apparent on the outside and the world will see your true beauty, as that comes from within. All the pretty people with "nice" faces and horrible minds will become pinched and ugly over time, the lines in their faces will show that they present a face to the world like a cats backside, their foreheads will show scowl lines as will thier eyes and mouths. Your will show how much you laugh and smile and love.

    Why do you believe you're the ugliest person in the world?

    Maybe the lad was close to the woman who lived in your falt before you and thats why he's upset that she's not thier anymore?

    Lots of parents don't care or are worn down and out trying to survive, or they dont' know how to talk about aging and dying?

    You can get a restraining order or an ASBO type of things against them, by the sounds of it things could hardly become much worse. Are they tennants or owners? If they're tennants then you have some hope of getting them moved, if they own the place then it's much much harder, I know as I've been there with neighbours myself.