What would make you happier?

Your dad was very wise. Wealth is always nice but without happiness and health you couldn't enjoy it.

The thing that would make me happiest right now would be to have better health. I'm happy but better health wouldn't go amiss!

 I Sperg what would you choose now you are older and wiser? Curious to know if you would still choose what you chose as a nipper

I think I'd go for health and happiness.

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I-Sperg, so much of what can make us unhappy, angry and frustrated is caused by the lack of competance of others, we have more ways than ever to communicate with each other and yet when people say they'll get back to you they rarely do.

If you have a problem with something you either end up on hold for hours or get told to go online where you get a load of frequently asked questions that never seem to match your own query.

Any complaint is taken as rudeness and aggression, when all you want are your legal rights.

Why bother asking a queston if you're not going to listen to the answer? I'm sure we've all had experiences of doctors writing a prescription before we've barely sat down, let alone explained why we're there. In relationships it's worse, both parties end up frustrated and upset.

Why is it unreasonable to expect tech thats being foisted on people, like repeat prescription ordering systems to work? I fear that with the massive AI roll out the government is planing that this sort of thing will get worse not better, the computer says no will be an even greater feature in our lives than it is now.

I'd say money, but only because Im luckily have a lot of things that are great and being able to retire and still afford a roof over our heads and a nice standard of living.

Work is the thing I want rid of, not because I'm lazy (ok maybe a little!) but it is the one place I can never feel comfortable.

being someone who'd rather just be straight talking all the time and work for a living rather than being a grifter like many others are, I find the game playing , politics and 2 faced nature of the workplace difficult and stressful to navigate. Often I'm taken for granted, befriended by the fakers, used by others to progress etc. which is a confidence issue I assume, being a people pleaser while secretly not wanting to be, is a stress too!

Your dad was wise indeed.

Exactly, coping with the environment and people is just about bearable, it is the masking that just exhausts me.

Roy said:

I would like to not have to hide my autism like it’s a dirty secret.

We have a little autism group at work now. Only five of us in it. We have a call once a month. Last week I said something very similar to what you just said and we all visibly teared up. 

We have to bring autistic people back into the light, a normal part of society and of the world.

I’m tired - very, very tired - of hiding who and what I am.

I would like to not have to hide my autism like it’s a dirty secret. When I’m struggling I would like to be able to express why I’m struggling, without judgement. Just better understanding.

Also car headlights that don’t practically X-ray me when coming towards me, it’s getting to the point of not wanting to drive at night.

Ronald MacDonald will be sorting mine for me tomorrow 

I can tell you what would make me happier tonight: someone else sorting my dinner for me.

Thank you for the advice and offer of help. Unfortunately I don't live that near to Birmingham. My father was born in Acocks green and got a scholarship to King Edward's.

Re the mobility.. The background to it is 2falls in Oct 2021. Paramedics saying the pain was psychological. My trying to do therapy whilst in agony. An x ray 7 weeks later that revealed I'd fractured my femur. A partial hip replacement  2 days later. My daughter was so disgusted with the paramedics she brought a negligence claim on my behalf. To cut a long story short the paramedics lied as to what they did and didn't do, and got away with it. Despite the hip op I still get pain more than 3 years later. The negligence claim against the GP is ongoing. I have premature osteoporosis and several other physical health  issues.

In answer to your dad's question - it has to be health and happiness. Happiness isn't ideal if after 5 seconds of bliss you have a heart attack. Health isn't idea if you are miserable for 100 years. But wealth is so tempting, isn't it?

If I were able to successfully navigate my attention onto something meaningful and productive.

Edit. Instead of trying to see how many edits send me to the underworld. Or if I can see who has liked a post without upvoting myself. 

Casting aside my usual florid verbiage for a moment, your post has helped me reframe my own issues around "getting out" somewhat...

FWIW, If you live within 20 miles of Birrmingham forty if it's the right direction, I will find the resources to get you out to your cafe for the price of a small breakfast, no egg, extra toast and with tomatoes only if they came out of a tin..We can sort out the details by "not so private" messaging. 

In the statistically more likely scenario where my resources will be insufficent to achieve the needed result, I'm still wondering if your particular barrier to happiness can be (if only partially or temporarily) solved by at least one of the bright and well informed creative thinkers that infest this Society?

Your level six pain after ten minutes will interfere with the main aim of getting out to be having a nice breakfast at the cafe, so that needs to be attended to first, I would hazard...

Now that's medical stuff and well out of the remit of this poor little forum apparently, but may I add one observation that has come my way by watching OTHER PEOPLE do illegal acts either in my prescence or on mainstream T.V.

Illegal drug users are able to manage their (emotional or physical) pain, lack of energy, lack of motivation, lack of an erection even(!), on demand for short periods using illegal drugs without lasting consequences. Why isn't the same facilty made available to people who are doing their best to be proper and fully law abiding in their behaviour? 

Back to the original issue. 39 months without a self directed trip to the cafe? This is the twenty first century and we live supposedly in one of the Premier countries in the world SURELY this is fixable at least in part?

Have you looked into (let alone actually TRIED) any alternative ways of managing your condition? I ask because we are heavily dissuaded from doing this, and I am genuinely convinced that SOME alternatives to off the shelf NHS type medicine have real merit. I suggest that you do your own research, and if you find any miracle "off label" effective treatment bieng touted for what ails you, bring it here and let a bunch of Autists do a deep dive into it! 

It always amazes me, how quickly we Autists can forget that our very way of being breaks a load of social regulations, making the best of us be seen as "Unconventional" the majority of us as either "jerks" or "untouchables" Until they run up against a problem that nt thinking cannot solve. Then they need "unconventional" and will put up with a jerk or even touch the untouchable. In between waitiing for them to need us, MAYBE we could help each other more? 

For instance, without asking anyone to break any laws, we could as a group or as individuals use some of our time alone on the computer to try and work each others problems a bit.

[Content edited by moderator to remove section which breaches Rule 6. Do not offer medical or legal advice. Always seek professional help for these matters. Treat any medical or legal information shared as the opinion of the user who posted it and meant for general discussion purposes only.]

Alternative medicine finally got rid of my athlete's foot after forty years of intermittent allopathic medical imcompetence. I am not being rude, they failed to competently treat my condition. I had to find my own way.

As Autists we are uniquely good at "finding our own way". I have always believed we could be solving problems that the normies cannot given half a chance. Am I completely wrong about that?

If I thought my O/H would go for it, I'd propose a temproary house swap!!

I could definitely use a nice low cost holiday by the sea, inspecting and where possible fixing someone's faulty electricals, and you'd no doubt enjoy being within ten miles of at least two universities for a while.

But probably hate everyting else. I live in one of the actual (thinly disguised) outer circles of hell, I have come to believe... 

For me, unfortunately no. I'd really struggle to use one.

Is this a problem that could be eased by the acquisition of a mobility scooter?

For my mobility to improve enough that I return to being able to go out as and when I want.The last time I went out on my own was nearly 39 months ago. This may sound silly but I miss going to the cafe I used to go to for a cooked breakfast. I live further away from it now. Even if accompanied it would entail walking so far then sitting on the box seat of the stroller before walking a bit more and stopping to rest again, repeat more than a few times.

Indoors I can manage 10  minutes or so of being upright,moving or standing still,before pain kicks in.What  I'd call a level 6 pain.

I don't think competance is to much to ask for, but obfuscation seems to be the order of the day. The lamp still whines and the fridge still moo's at us

I would like a massive book budget and access to a university library.