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What would make you happier?

I Sperg

When I wuz a nipper aged about 5 my dad asked me which of three things would I choose if I could only have two.

Out of Health, Wealth or Happiness, I "chose"  health and wealth only for him to suggest that without happiness what woudl be teh point of having the other two?

That kind fatherly lesson and correction to my thinking has helped me enormously in focussing upon what is, and is not, really important. 

Let's not kid ourselevs boys and girls we OBVIOUSLY want lashings of all three, but in the real reality, resources & qualities are scattered about unevenly, life is essentially UNFAIR, some of us are born into the wrong bodies (or even species!) but theoretically "Happiness" is an unlimited resource that merely needs to be accessed!

MANY of us it seems are unhappier than the majority and carrying the co-morbities that result from being really unhappy too in many cases. 

NOW before you all start getting political, (I know what you 'spergs are like, I is one myself!) this is more about thinking and sharing what would make YOU happier personally. 

If anyone wants to know why I am asking this, (some of you have found me untrustworthy I believe) I'm happy to explain, but for now I'm asking the question what would make you happier?  

Parents

  • For my mobility to improve enough that I return to being able to go out as and when I want.The last time I went out on my own was nearly 39 months ago. This may sound silly but I miss going to the cafe I used to go to for a cooked breakfast. I live further away from it now. Even if accompanied it would entail walking so far then sitting on the box seat of the stroller before walking a bit more and stopping to rest again, repeat more than a few times.

    Indoors I can manage 10  minutes or so of being upright,moving or standing still,before pain kicks in.What  I'd call a level 6 pain.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Is this a problem that could be eased by the acquisition of a mobility scooter?

Reply Children
  • in reply to I Sperg

    Thank you for the advice and offer of help. Unfortunately I don't live that near to Birmingham. My father was born in Acocks green and got a scholarship to King Edward's.

    Re the mobility.. The background to it is 2falls in Oct 2021. Paramedics saying the pain was psychological. My trying to do therapy whilst in agony. An x ray 7 weeks later that revealed I'd fractured my femur. A partial hip replacement  2 days later. My daughter was so disgusted with the paramedics she brought a negligence claim on my behalf. To cut a long story short the paramedics lied as to what they did and didn't do, and got away with it. Despite the hip op I still get pain more than 3 years later. The negligence claim against the GP is ongoing. I have premature osteoporosis and several other physical health  issues.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Casting aside my usual florid verbiage for a moment, your post has helped me reframe my own issues around "getting out" somewhat...

    FWIW, If you live within 20 miles of Birrmingham forty if it's the right direction, I will find the resources to get you out to your cafe for the price of a small breakfast, no egg, extra toast and with tomatoes only if they came out of a tin..We can sort out the details by "not so private" messaging. 

    In the statistically more likely scenario where my resources will be insufficent to achieve the needed result, I'm still wondering if your particular barrier to happiness can be (if only partially or temporarily) solved by at least one of the bright and well informed creative thinkers that infest this Society?

    Your level six pain after ten minutes will interfere with the main aim of getting out to be having a nice breakfast at the cafe, so that needs to be attended to first, I would hazard...

    Now that's medical stuff and well out of the remit of this poor little forum apparently, but may I add one observation that has come my way by watching OTHER PEOPLE do illegal acts either in my prescence or on mainstream T.V.

    Illegal drug users are able to manage their (emotional or physical) pain, lack of energy, lack of motivation, lack of an erection even(!), on demand for short periods using illegal drugs without lasting consequences. Why isn't the same facilty made available to people who are doing their best to be proper and fully law abiding in their behaviour? 

    Back to the original issue. 39 months without a self directed trip to the cafe? This is the twenty first century and we live supposedly in one of the Premier countries in the world SURELY this is fixable at least in part?

    Have you looked into (let alone actually TRIED) any alternative ways of managing your condition? I ask because we are heavily dissuaded from doing this, and I am genuinely convinced that SOME alternatives to off the shelf NHS type medicine have real merit. I suggest that you do your own research, and if you find any miracle "off label" effective treatment bieng touted for what ails you, bring it here and let a bunch of Autists do a deep dive into it! 

    It always amazes me, how quickly we Autists can forget that our very way of being breaks a load of social regulations, making the best of us be seen as "Unconventional" the majority of us as either "jerks" or "untouchables" Until they run up against a problem that nt thinking cannot solve. Then they need "unconventional" and will put up with a jerk or even touch the untouchable. In between waitiing for them to need us, MAYBE we could help each other more? 

    For instance, without asking anyone to break any laws, we could as a group or as individuals use some of our time alone on the computer to try and work each others problems a bit.

    [Content edited by moderator to remove section which breaches Rule 6. Do not offer medical or legal advice. Always seek professional help for these matters. Treat any medical or legal information shared as the opinion of the user who posted it and meant for general discussion purposes only.]

    Alternative medicine finally got rid of my athlete's foot after forty years of intermittent allopathic medical imcompetence. I am not being rude, they failed to competently treat my condition. I had to find my own way.

    As Autists we are uniquely good at "finding our own way". I have always believed we could be solving problems that the normies cannot given half a chance. Am I completely wrong about that?

  • in reply to I Sperg

    For me, unfortunately no. I'd really struggle to use one.