Do you like christmas?

This is my least fave time of year.

My family consistently throw a big Christmas party and I'm sure they know it unsettles me but they still do it anyway. Loud music. Loads of people. A whole weekend of this and I'm trapped in the house. I like Christmas music if it's played quietly and the decorations can look nice but the busy city and large gatherings make it a really unsettling time for me and when my house is suddenly like it as well I get the usual sense of dread.

Yesterday my parents informed me this year there will be another party for me to endure. My dad says if I don't like it I could move. I will move out for definite when I can afford it, money is tight as I've only just got in to the workplace and my chosen job nursery assistant the pay sucks LMAO so for now I'm having to save and save and save to afford the finer luxury of escaping my parents house. Sadly despite my trying to explain about autism they don't get it. I'll be 25 next year and I'm hoping at some point then I'll be able to look in to renting an apartment, if I can afford Londons rather expensive properties.

  • One of my best xmas's was spent researching my dissertation, just me, a cat, a pile of books and a fridge full of food that I wanted, none of which was traditional.

    I agree with Oran, roasts are boring, they're pretty boring to cook too, I don't understand why peole get in such a flap about it, its all about timing and being organised and as or people who freak out at having to cook for 8 instead of 2 or 4, well, you know how many potatoes you need for the number of people you usually cook for, just double or triple it.

  • yeah i get that. to me at least, the christmas dinner is just a "poshed up" roast dinner

  • Can't stand it. Lot of fuss about decorations, the same terrible music every year, the pressure of gifts and the same boring roast dinners. Roasts are the dullest way to cook meat to me. And dear lord why does it start so early?

  • i personally hate christmas, its a pure sensory nightmare

  • I have mixed feelings. I like the food although it is different since I found out I was wheat/garlic/onion intolerant. I like the decorations and gifting giving but I dont work and have limited income. I dislike the social part and ongoing see friends one to one. I was raised in a small single parent family and it was always an extremely emotional time of the year. I cant imagine being in a large family.

  • Your house sounds a beautiful place. I love older houses they have so much character. I hope you put in the Juliet balcony and french doors, that would be ever so pretty. I've got french doors here but no balcony. We also have water from a spring that's at the top of the mountain but pressure is very poor here, I don't know anything about it but a pump is probably required. I hope you will have a lovely Christmas in your new place. 

  • I’m really looking forward to starting work on it, your house sounds very interesting and I’m sure stressful at times. We have flagstone floors and stone walls, luckily the roof was replaced by the previous owner. I’ve got a mad idea to fit a Juliet balcony and French doors upstairs as the view is amazing. Our water supply comes from a spring, i can see the system needing a better pump as pressure is poor. Christmas Day dinner will be something from the microwave, anything is better than dry turkey!

  • Cool way to spend Christmas. I live in an old house and it’s been undergoing restoration for the last couple of years, started with the loft which was mouse infested and leaking on one side of the house but is now watertight, carpeted and mouse free. There’s an old wine cellar under the house all stone floored and walled but that’s a long way off from being usable. Enjoy your restoration this Christmas I bet that will be a blast.

  • I was going to suggest the same thing as mummy cat, can you stay in your room/ go to a hotel/ stay with a friend or family member who is happy to spend a quiet evening with you?

    In reply to "do you like Christmas?" I have mixed feelings.

    I like: Nice food and drinks, feeling cosy and warm indoors and not having to go anywhere. (And when I was working, a good long holiday, although I'm retired now)

    I don't like: Christmas parties (never done them or been to one since my Grandma's family get togethers when I was a child) Garish decorations, crowds and loud Christmas music in shops.

  • Can you stay in your room, or find a cheap B&B or premier inn or something for the night? My ex's family always had to have big family parties that I didn't like and nearly always found an excuse not to attend. I supose your family would say it's only for a couple of days and they have a right to do things they enjoy and they're right, but it's intensly uncomfortable for you.

    I like a xmas tree and always do one, I have loads of decorations that have lots of memories attached to them, like ones from my grandparents, ones that I made with my daughter and ones that just make us laugh. I love the cooking, but not so much the eating. I could quite happily cook xmas dinner for a dozen or so people with all the trimmings and boxing day left overs too.

    Other peoples xmas's can be a nightmare though, when to open presents is a big one and people get really upset about when someone does something different. I had a grumpy exchange with my then partners father about why I'd served up bread sauce, they didn't have it, I told him I did, I'd cooked the dinner and it was my xmas too, so he subsided into grumbling, but did enjoy his dinner.

  • I too loath Christmas with build up. People seem to lose control and run around panicking while out shopping. I liberated myself from Christmas some time ago so for me the 25th is like any other month. I was out litter picking last year or before that, out cycling. I note there are a growing number of people out cycling and running as well. 

  • At age 54 now, after 30 years in supermarket retailing, what I can’t stand about Christmas is the over-commercialisation of it, totally overlooking the real reason for the season, that of Christ’s Birth, which to myself as a traditional Catholic, this is what I focus on - I’ve been told by my Muslim friends (who know that I’m Catholic) that it’s the same with Eid in Muslim countries where they feel that it’s too commercialised - I’ll never forget Christmas 2020 as long as I live, living alone in the U.K., separated from family in Ireland and in Covid lockdown, unable to travel, only able to see family in Ireland via Zoom and only able to attend Mass in Ireland via webcam as the Irish Covid restrictions were much stricter, went on for far longer, were far more draconian and much more fiercely enforced than the U.K. where for the first time, the Irish police in many parts of Ireland were routinely and visibly armed and which still exists to the present day, as the concept of policing by consent no longer exists in Ireland - I recall seeing a webcam shot from Ireland of our local parish church of the crib and it was the most pitiful sight that I’ve ever seen 

  • I struggle with the run up to Christmas, the annoying adverts have already started. I find that by the actual day my brain is fried from overload. This year my wife and I are not doing Christmas, we have just bought our future  home by the coast and plan to go there over Christmas and work on it. The house has been empty for 3 years and requires a lot of work. We are doing a ‘Christmas with the Kranks’.

  • Removed as my original response as appeared now.

  • Most of the people with whom I used to spend Christmas have passed away. As a retired Culinary Arts teacher and professionally trained chef, I still enjoy making Christmas dinner, albeit only for myself. It does not bother me to be alone because I have cats for company. By nature I am also a reclusive introvert. 

    I save a lot of money by not having to attend parties and giving gifts to people. Although I receive no gifts since I don't attend parties, I haven't considered this to be a loss since I already have enough useless junk around my home as it is. Part of my problem is that I fall into and out of special interests. I own a three bedroom house and have one bedroom devoted to handpainting and mounting military miniatures on bases which I then flock with artificial turf. I have another room that's devoted to a collection of 1/6 scale WWI and WWII collection of action figures. I purchased these before the advent of AI technology. I used to take pictures of these soldiers and vehicles to make visual dioramas but nowadays I can do most of this on-line. 

    As a chef I have an interest in food. I have a freezer, a 2nd refrigerator and several shelves of canned and dried foods in my garage.My kitchen cabinets are filled with all sorts of tools and equipment. 

    I am sorry that you have to attend Christmas parties and that your father's move out response was a bit harsh. In terms of moving out, it might help if you had a roommate. Do you have any mates who might want to split the cost of rent? 

  • I hope you get a chance to have your own place and celebrate Christmas in your own way.

    I do like Christmas, but I know parts of it can be stressful and make me more anxious than usual.

    I like choosing small gifts for people, and wrapping them beautifully. I like getting together with friends and family in small groups and spending time together eating nice food and chasing away the dark. I love the sheer weirdness of bringing a tree into your house and decorating it. I love the look of the fairy lights on the tree in a darkened room, and how the light glints off all of the decorations. 

    I don't like how busy it gets and the push to buy more and more stuff. And. I can get overwhelmed by opening presents. I still had presents (opened) from last Christmas sitting on a table in my lounge up until last Saturday there.

  • I'm sure I wouldn't like Christmas in your house. In a house with 2 other autistic people, it can be OK for me. We do things our way. Or we sometimes spend it with a friend who is probably also autistic and have a lovely quiet time. But, no, I don't like Christmas as most people seem to choose to celebrate it, as I need my own head space.

  • I’m sorry your parents don’t understand your autism. This is the case for so many on the spectrum. Do you have any noise cancelling headphones? If not, it might be worth getting some as they will help reduce the noise from people and music. I have several sets and have found them to be an absolute lifesaver over the years.

    No I don’t look forward to Xmas. It reminds me of my little girl, how excited she got, her face when she opened her presents, dancing to Xmas music, sitting for hours watching the tree lights twinkle and on xmas day running in to my room and jumping on me to wake me up. Now it’s a constant reminder of what I’m missing. That combined with the busy shoppers, the loudness of shops, and the way too bright lights in town makes this time of year utterly unbearable for me. If I could hibernate over Xmas I would gladly.

    Let me sleep until spring, that would be perfect!

    But I'm aware that for some it’s the best time of the year, we’re all different. My sister loves Xmas, she goes all out and decorates her house with lights and reindeer ornaments on the roof, and every year I get an Xmas card from her which I'll usually put on the fridge and not remember to take it down until May next year.