Am I unusual

Mine consisted of a couple of question and answer sessions with my chosen daughter present.Some tick box questionnaires- with my chosen daughter having a questionnaire to fill in. My sister, who's younger than me provided a letter. Finally there was the ADOS.

I didn't, as some do, plan things in order to minimise the chances of a negative result. I was certainly far less confident  as to whether I was autistic than the vast  majority of those who were self diagnosed. 

That's not to say there's a right or wrong way to approach things, but it does point even at a pre diagnosis stage to the heterogenous nature of being an autistic person.

I struggle to identify with most other autistic persons,be it here or elsewhere. The descriptions of everyday life are markedly different.  In my case far more basic and lacking in depth. I think there's a sizeable difference between ASD + SMI vs ASD- SMI. 

Unknown said:

I didn't write copious notes detailing why I might be/was autistic.

Among other potential reasons, it seems to me that some of us have approached this differently than others simply because of the fundamentally different natures of our autism assessments themselves.

Under some assessment providers, all or a lot of important information is gathered and recorded via interviews with us.

Under others, that same information is instead gathered by requiring us to submit pre-assessment questionnaires, within which we need to consider and note down all kinds of difficulties, examples, details, etc.

I’m grateful that, in my case, it was the latter. Because I’d have struggled hugely to recall and articulate all of that information in a face-to-face interview.

I think I never considered it because I already supposedly had the explanations for feeling different. I've always had that feeling of not being able to fit in and like your name alienated. 

I've also been on a whole variety of medications, (antidepressants, mood stabilisers, antipsychotics, etc) and apart from some awful side effects, never really did anything for me, but was always told it's just because the right ones and combination hasn't been found.

I guess I naively trusted the mental health professionals and their explanations of my symptoms. In fact when the therapist suggested ASD to me I said if I had surely someone would have noticed by now. 

I spent that week researching into ASD and realised that it did fit me and made a lot more sense than what I had been told about myself before. I also had those 'it's a description of me' moments. If I hadn't been misdiagnosed all those years ago I probably would've come to the realisation myself as I would've been actively trying to find an explanation.

I heard in one video (not sure, but I think it was on the channel “Asperger from the inside” by Paul Micalleff) that most of the diagnosed autistics knew already before, that they are autistic. But not everyone of course. 
i knew my whole life that I’m different, but couldn’t name it. When I was prescribed meds for depression I literally felt and knew that these meds will not help me long term because it’s just as giving a pain killer to someone with advanced cancer. That it’s just treating one symptom but not helping me with the long lists of my problems. And I was right! The meds didn’t help or very little for short time, but the problem remained. I know that my mom was informed by my teachers I’m probably autistic, so this rang from time to time in my head although she told me later that I’m not autistic when I asked her. She always prevented me from having a therapist even when I was really miserable and suicidal. But she was fine with me being put on awful strong meds. I do t understand it and I think I will never fully forgive her. Anyway for me now the very fact that my teachers told that my mom in my childhood is also a strong indication that I’m right. I have a good memory. 
i just found a psychologist, so I will see how it goes. But I’m ready to accept that I will never be officially diagnosed and able to join a local support group. There was one moment, when I saw zu an interview between David Grusch and Joe Rogan, Grusch mentioned he is “high functioning autistic” and got intrigued, checked and found an article about it. It shocked me I asked myself “why it’s a description of me”. And my journey started short time later I found this forum, tested myself online and keep reading/listening. 

I didn't even consider I was autistic, never mind studiously plan anything. I already had a diagnosis (well several), for many years. I just met a new therapy team who suspected I may have ASD and asked if I'd like to go through the diagnostic process. About a month later I no longer meet the criteria for bi-polar or boarderline personality disorder and have ASD instead (did keep cPTSD though).

I also feel my pathway to an autism diagnosis was unusual. Reading the posts on this site it seems most peoples' path is to self diagnose, ask for a referral, which they wait many months or years for, and put together the reasons they are autistic. It does make me feel I can't quite relate to others here and wonder why my pathway was so different. It's nice to read I'm not the only one who feels their diagnostic journey was a little different and I wonder if anyone else had one similar to mine.

Yes, that’s a good point actually! In my case I repeat the possible conversation so many times that I actually know by heart what to say and this repeating makes me feel sick. It’s always like that with every possibly upcoming conversation. It does not often go as planned but when it comes to therapist or psychiatrist appointments- it usually does. 

I need notes because I can't think clearly and get my words out in a situation like this. Better to have them and not need them, maybe?

One thing confuses me a bit - the notes. My first time I had an appointment with a therapist which I wasn’t satisfied with but it doesn’t matter here, I had some short notes to not forget what I wanna talk about. I was so stressed and anxious that these notes helped me collect my thoughts. But there were just few words like my feeling is this, my problem is that and that’s it. I didn’t need any longer notes because these are things I know. So I’m not sure if the notes people prepare are also short ones like mine or something different. When it comes to writing about my traits and why I think I might be autistic, I don’t need to write it in order to not forget or something. 

Since autism is a spectrum disorder, we are all quite different in terms of our strengths and weaknesses, what interests us, and how we reacted to first learning that we might be autistic. Whereas the traditional view of autism held that we were either mildly or severely autistic, the prevailing medical opinion seems to be that we're more like onions. Just as onions are layered, we each have varying degrees of autism for such areas as executive functioning (the ability to live one's own day to day life), sensory sensitivities, social skills etc. 

In other words, there is no one size fits all approach to autism because we are all unusual as compared to those who are not autistic. 

I didn't either, I just told my GP why I thought I was ASC, asked for an appointment with a psychologist, saw him a few months later for an hour a week for a couple of months and he gave me a diagnosis and that was that. I had no follow up's or anything, so many people seem to get loads of stuff to ehlp support them, I just got told that as I'd managed without help of the previous 50 years I could carry on as before.

I hope you can soon get the help and support you need.

I don’t know how I would be, but I think I would also not needed any notes. I know who I am what causes me stress etc. I’m not diagnosed. Just heard in the childhood teachers suspected I’m autistic but my mom ignored that. And recently 2 psychiatrists told me I’m most probably autistic but they don’t offer psychotherapy. I will reach out for official diagnosis only if it’s gonna help me. Just to have in a drawer - I don’t need it at least currently, I’m fine with self diagnosis and being part of this community, where I feel safe and good. 
Here in Germany everything must be on a paper, I know that there are some support groups, but to join one I need the diagnosis. How the process looks like… will i find a professional who can do it… how long it will take.. I don’t know. I struggle socially so much that I’m unable to find any friends where I’m living (the only friend I have for almost 20 years now is living in other country) so I think I might have benefited from being a part of such group. I might have… but not necessarily. I know that being a part of any group does not necessarily mean I will immediately find friends. But I’m gonna try, to see how it goes.