How patient are you?

I'm not so much patient as I'm tenacious.

If I loose my pateince I'll put a thing down for a while and pick it up again when I've regained my patience.

When my tenacity runs out however, say with a "smart" doorbell with which I've been wresting with since 2020, then I look for a quicker and more final solution to having my time wasted.. 

Well, I certainly read the library books I've borrowed because there's a deadline, yet I can't say the same for the books I've bought that are just lying around my house. 

For the family history research, you could periodically ask if they've found any new information on it, and maybe with enough prompting, that might kick things into gear. But if they're being avoidant or dismissive, they're probably dragging their feet on it. Maybe ask them about a reasonable timeline in which they generally get the research completed. 

Martin said:

my impatience warring against my perfectionism.

Totally get that. My attention to any kind of detail gives me a tag of being very patient. I can be but as Sporadic said it depends on a lot of things. I don’t have a lot with myself and put ridiculous expectations on myself, it’s a habit of my life so far! 

I contacted him privately.  He works independently, and has people who work under him.  As he's probably done some research, just hasn't told me the results, I wouldn't know how much of a refund to ask for. On hindsight I should have chosen to pay by instalments rather than a lump sum upfront.

If it were me, I'd stop paying him or ask for a refund and for him to hand over all work and original documents you've given him. What he's telling you isn't to my mind a good enough answer, it's a how long's a piece of string, sort of answer. Did you contact privately or via a site like ancestry? If it were via a site, then they may have some procedure for settling this sort of thing.

With equipment - none

With living creatures and plants, infinite.

Yes. I have done so several times.He just tells me things like 'work on both is complicated', 'The research for both is very much in hand for you.' He tells me he prefers to give one complete report than any progress reports.

He may be a good researcher, but I'm not sure I'll use him again.

The extent of my patience can vary depending on the situation, and also on my mood at the time. When I'm tired, or feel stressed and anxious by things that are unrelated, I'm aware that it can affect my patience and cause me to feel less tolerant.

Thinking of the situation you have found yourself in regarding the family research, have you made a point of contacting the person or company involved, and asking if they can provide you with a progress report?

It involves quite a hefty lump sum, but not to the extent that I've put myself in debt. I still have 4 figure savings. When these are done  that will be it this year   re paying a professional to do research for me.

How patient are you?

With myself - not a lot.

firemonkey said:

What I don't cope well with is a task I've asked to be done with no idea as to the completion date

I get this, but when it comes to someone doing a task that they are not being paid to do (ie there is a contract that lays out expectations) then I learned to accept that it may just never get done.

What happens if that person dies before it gets done? Best to have a plan B if it is important to you or be prepared to write it off if it isn't.

I have geological levels of patience for most things these days where there are no contracts involved and will go after them hammer and tongs if there is a contract - a case of choosing your battles.

I'm patient with some things, like teaching small creatures to do things and waiting for plants to grow, but I'm impatient with others, like you waiting for others to get on with something I'm paying good money for infuriates me. I least patient with myself. 

I think that I appear to be patient to others, but inside I am impatient. As a boy I made and painted many 'Airfix' model kits, and adults would comment on how patient I must be, but I built them very impatiently, my impatience warring against my perfectionism.