Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
How does everyone go about checking what they perceive as normal behaviour is quite normal when it contrasts with another person?
For example - I have a hospital trip coming up with 3 scans that are quite urgent. In the past if this is a loved one, I have offered to go and made it a priority to support the person.
my mum today said she didn’t offer to come because it was just a scan and she didn’t think it was important and that I view things differently.
that’s just one example, this happens to me quite a lot so I would like to know how you check on kind of what your brains perceives being normal?
You want to know the rules and see consistency in action.
Life, though is a dynamic, ever shifting set of circumstances.
As we age we have to shift to meet new situations, if we don't we are
clinging to expectations that the world of things can no longer meet.
I would ask those around you, when change comes, and if they can, to give you
plenty of time ahead to adjust and to plan for for them.
.
The Iching says, in the 32nd hexagram, "constancy,"
that one must be "constant in the path (the way, the tao) and not in things".
your goal could be to find that path within and tread it, no matter how the
world changes around you. It is the only constant, transcending time and space.
Here is a very good translation of the Tao Te Ching free to read online.
A copy/paste to the your devise will gain you access to it no matter where (on the path) you are!
https://dereklin.com/tao-te-ching-translation/
Thank you
Irrespective of whether one is autistic or neurotypical, I think that we all have our own ideas as to what we consider to be 'normal' behaviour, and the right thing to do.
If I had a hospital appointment (for any reason), I know that I would probably prefer someone like my son to accompany me. I know that in addition to feeling anxious, I would welcome the company. However, unless I needed to attend hospital for something serious (or potentially serious), I wouldn't necessarily expect my son to offer to come along with me.As autists, I think we can sometimes be guilty of assuming, or expecting other people to think and behave the same way as we do as individuals. When they don't, we can sometimes have difficulty understanding and accepting it.
NAS94960 said:I have a hospital trip coming up with 3 scans that are quite urgent. In the past if this is a loved one, I have offered to go and made it a priority to support the person.
Normality is quite a variable thing - but in the context here if the person having the scans is unlikely to be in need of support then there is no need for someone to go with them.
It will depend on the circumstances and the person - a very nuanced thing.
I only ask someone to go with me if the procedure will affect my capabilities - for example I had a pair or procedures that involved me being sedated while tubes were inserted in various orifices and it took me a while to wake up afterwards and my judgement was impared so I needed someone to be there to stop me wandering off in a gown with my bum hanging out.
A scan is unlikely to require this however if the person is likely to be affected by the potential of the condition that is being investigated (think it they are worried senseless that they have cancer) then they may want a emotional support human with them to tell them it is all ok and to get them back home again.
For me it is usual to go to medical appointments alone and has been since I was about 12, to be honest I gave up trying to work out what normal behaviour is long ago, I think it's roughly the opposite of just about anything I do or think.