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a question about phone calls ♡

fluttershy
3 months ago

hello everyone ♡. i have only just joined because i wanted to ask a question here, so i am very sorry if this is in the wrong place. Sweat

i am not sure of whether this is related to my autism, but does anyone else feel incredibly anxious when people call others on facetime or speaker phone around them? i am fine with people talking to others on the phone around me, but whenever it is out loud/on speaker, i get very anxious and feel the need to leave the room. i don't think it is because of the noise—i thought it might be because it feels like i am suddenly being brought into the conversation as well, a conversation i wasn't ready for, but i am not sure. if anyone else has any ideas or experiences this, i would love to hear from you ♡. thank you so much in advance.

Parents
  • 3 months ago

    It feels like I'm being invaded and I feel angry, truth be told, before I catch myself and turn it into simply annoyed. I can get aggressive myself, if it persists more than 5 minutes and/or its at a cafe or checkout line – or worst on public transit! –  if I am not mindful. 

    I have, in the past, before we had NC headphones, gotten up and stood very close to them, pretending to be part of the conversation instead. I suppose this is a form of aggression from feeling invaded. It's like I wanted to get inside the bunch-zone, as a boxer might say.

    These are my impulses. now I have learned to conquer them if I cannot escape these speaker phone marathons. I leave or use my head phones instead. Or on public transit I just approach and say "please stop" and point to the signs that indicate not to do what they are doing.

    These days it is rare for people to do this. Older people (my peer group) can be seen doing this, especially if they are hard of hearing. I understand this and cut them some slack, unless it's in a place that I can't really get away from them. Also, they have come up in a paradigm where a phone call happened primarily in a private home.

    If its a younger person doing it who should who better the norms of the day (haha, like I do?) I am clueless as to what to do as are most of the people around me. They mostly seem to be able to filter it out.

    I still think it's a form of aggression, conscious or not.

    I am the same way with annoying blue tooth speakers on a beach!

Reply
  • 3 months ago

    It feels like I'm being invaded and I feel angry, truth be told, before I catch myself and turn it into simply annoyed. I can get aggressive myself, if it persists more than 5 minutes and/or its at a cafe or checkout line – or worst on public transit! –  if I am not mindful. 

    I have, in the past, before we had NC headphones, gotten up and stood very close to them, pretending to be part of the conversation instead. I suppose this is a form of aggression from feeling invaded. It's like I wanted to get inside the bunch-zone, as a boxer might say.

    These are my impulses. now I have learned to conquer them if I cannot escape these speaker phone marathons. I leave or use my head phones instead. Or on public transit I just approach and say "please stop" and point to the signs that indicate not to do what they are doing.

    These days it is rare for people to do this. Older people (my peer group) can be seen doing this, especially if they are hard of hearing. I understand this and cut them some slack, unless it's in a place that I can't really get away from them. Also, they have come up in a paradigm where a phone call happened primarily in a private home.

    If its a younger person doing it who should who better the norms of the day (haha, like I do?) I am clueless as to what to do as are most of the people around me. They mostly seem to be able to filter it out.

    I still think it's a form of aggression, conscious or not.

    I am the same way with annoying blue tooth speakers on a beach!

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