Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there. I have been informed at work that I appear short and sharp when sometimes liaising with colleagues regarding tasks, i.e. asking for updates etc. I get anxious when information isn't clear about a task or project I may be working on or if I don't understand the answers I have been given when raising a query with a colleague. This leads to me taking to them abruptly. Some people are aware at work of my ASD but I am looking for tips on what I can do to prevent this from happening and so I can sound less abrupt in these situations.
Mind-reading is the expected norm.
Being autistic means I communicate and use language different. We socialise different and we are motivated completely different.
I wrote a long-ish explanation on the science of this earlier today... can post the thread if you wish. https://community.autism.org.uk/f/mental-health-and-wellbeing/37511/autism-is-a-social-linguistic-communication-difference
The 'art' of navigating the Typical social landscape can be terribly interesting. But also exhausting. Learning a bit of theatre can help if you'd like to participate in some form, think of it like cosplay - crafting a voice and a character type, but not in a dishonest way. A good instructor will help us grow the qualities we have to bring to a script, and not play someone other than an aspect of our selves, just apply techniques. But, I've found the easier thing to do is learn to integrate my intention, words and action and find the principles or values I hope to communicate. This takes time, so it's not quick.
You should respond with anxiety when instruction isn't clear. Everyone will do this, it's just not often a non-autistic is in a room full of individuals they feel a perpetual disconnect with.
Typcial society is using all kinds of secretly coded 'language' which we don't pick up, which is specific to being Autistic. I usually resort to letting others know "my telepathy skills are wanting, it's quite helpful if you're direct!"
Please do. I like reading your take on things Autistic, and I suspect I am not the only one.
Will add into the post! It's a wee attempt to explain a rather complex process... https://community.autism.org.uk/f/mental-health-and-wellbeing/37511/autism-is-a-social-linguistic-communication-difference