Autism and gender dysphoria

Thank you

Thank you

Hi NAS93350,  

You may like to have a look at the autism and gender identity page on our website which has useful links to information about this topic: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health   

In addition, you may want to use our Autism Services Directory to search for appropriate services in your area that cater for people with an autism spectrum disorder. You can find the Directory here: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

It is good to see our community have provided really helpful advice, we would like to remind our online community users of our rule 13: Users should not provide medical or legal advice to other users. Giving medical or legal advice can have serious consequences, even if you’re trying to help another member. Please suggest they get advice from a professional. 

Kind Regards, 

Rosie Mod 

Thank you

Get them on the waiting list NOW for an NHS gender identity clinic GIC. It will be at least 5 years, and possibly quite a lot more, before their first appointment, so the sooner you can start the wait, the better. See your GP for a referral (even just processing the referral takes several months, in my experience).

If they change their mind in the meantime, no big deal, just let the clinic know it's no longer needed.

The most helpful thing for me to figure things out has been to connect with other trans/non-binary people. Look for youth LGBT+ groups in your area and encourage your child to attend.

We weren't remotely surprised when he came out to us.  Every since he was small, it was trousers every time.

Good luck, if you have a good GP they should be able to point you in the right direction. Always remember that knowledge is power no matter how it turns out.

You are so welcome! Happy to be of service!

These are great resources Ausomely Autistic . Thank you for sharing!

That's good. I'm pleased to hear that you are so supportive of your child ️  It's a long and often confusing thought process and it really helps to talk openly about it. I'm 36 and only started questioning my gender at 32, I will probably still be questioning at 40 and I'm ok with that now! I don't want to change my body either, maybe I'll change my mind in the future but for now I'm ok as I am.

Thank you for this. I think gender questioning is a good term to use. I am not looking for anyone to 'fix' my child but they seem unable to explain why they feel more female and do not want to fully transition just wear female clothing. I think they need help in understanding how they are feeling so they can be confident in their decision. Your comments have definitely given me things to think about so thank you. 

You are so welcome!

Thank you and I am sorry it has taken so long for your son to be seen. I think my child is confused as at present is saying they do not want to psychically change their body or get hormone therapy. That is why I want them to speak to someone who can help them formulate their thinking. there was never any indication whatsoever that they felt uncomfortable with their birth assigned sex until a few days ago. I asked my child how long it had taken them to pluck up the courage to tell me and they said a few days so this is not something they have been thinking about for very long. I have asked in the past if they have ever felt they were born in the wrong body, as they have trans friends, and the response was always no.  i am very open and accepting of people no matter how they identify and my child is aware I would not judge them negatively for this.  I am aware that GIDS had a 24 month waiting list as a minimum so willing to get private help in the meantime. Wishing you and your son the best of luck.

Thank you so much

NAS93350 said:

Does anyone have recommendations for a therapist/psychologist/psychotherapist who has experience with this subject?

I don’t have any specific recommendations but below I have linked to the organisation AIM for the Rainbow which might be able to help you:

https://rainbowaim.wordpress.com/

The charity is autistic led and specialises in supporting LGBTQIA+ members of our autistic community.

Also Autistic and Living the Dream provides a range of support services specialising in the LGBTQIA + community. They may be able to signpost you to a psychologist that can meet your young person’s needs:

https://autisticltd.co.uk/

I hope this helps!

I have a transgender son. Your first port of call should be your GP. From there they'll get referred for assessment. The waiting list is ridiculously long so don't expect anything to happen any time soon.

My sons journey started at 14, he's now 20 and hasn't been seen/assessed yet.

He gets the odd letter or email offering support or group suggestions.

Just be there for them. Learn what you can and push your GP and mp for any support they can offer.

Something I discovered is that the GMC recommend that GPs recommend offer bridging treatment. My son went down that route and managed to get hormone therapy from the GP. 

The system is broken and is a political football that's keeps being punted into the long grass.

I firmly believe that if I hadn't managed to persuade my GP to provide bridging treatment I would have lost my child.

Good luck, I don't want to sound so negative but it has been quite trying at times.

Hi, I can't recommend anyone in particular because I don't live in your area but, if there is a Pride organisation or LGBTQ+ support group in your area, they might offer conselling or they might be able to recommend someone who is experienced in this area. Alternatively you could ask your GP for a recommendation. I'm gender questioning / non binary and my only concern with counselling is the number of times people have tried to convince me that I'm not trans, it's just because of past trauma and I can be fixed and made to be happy with my birth gender which has been hurtful if I'm honest. With the right counsellor, your child should feel supported to explore their feelings and maybe make an informed decision on their gender - it's also OK to remain "gender questioning" for as long as needed and there isn't always a need to decide on a label if that doesn't feel right for them. Good luck and I hope someone else can give you a better suggestion!