Published on 12, July, 2020
Title.
I'm really struggling at the moment with my GCSEs coming up. I've been doing my best in class but I really struggle due to my various conditions (AuDHD, chronic pain, anxiety, etc) to stay in there. I've been put on independent study in my school's SENCO building but I'm struggling to self-motivate because I'm struggling to care about what I'm studying. I love learning and I have nigh encyclopedic knowledge of my special interests. I'm struggling the most with English, which is ironic considering it's the one subject I'm allegedly "naturally gifted" at. I know that I can do what is asked of me, I wrote essays for fun during Covid about anything and everything and I'm currently writing a video essay that I hope to put on YouTube, but I'm struggling massively because I simply do not care about the material provided.
An Inspector Calls, for example -- I'm struggling with the character analysis because every single character is so bare-bones and stereotypical that they annoy me, as well as the fact that I've heard every single aspect of their characters regurgitated at me dozens of times that I'm now sick of hearing it. I can analyse characters just fine, I frequently go on long tangents about this sort of thing when it's related to my favourites. I know that I could easily get a Grade 9 essay if I was able to write about the intricacies of, for example, Thancred's character arc in Final Fantasy XIV. I understand why I can't but it is still so frustrating. I only need to pass my GCSEs to get onto the course I want (5 exams with at least grade 4), but my work in English feels inadequate. It's the unfortunate leftover of my primary school hailing me as an English "prodigy" -- I burned myself out once the work stopped being too easy for me, which I now realise is because of my autism.
Does anyone have any tips on making this process bearable? Because revision is all I can do from now until my GCSEs start anyway even though I'd rather use my time to read my book, since I know I'll pass anyway even if the essay is the worst thing I will ever write. No "autism advice for teens" sites have anything close to what I'm asking.
(Apologies for putting up two threads within an hour of each other, this was the question I joined this forum to ask!)
Hi, I can relate to this a lot- I am really bad at making myself study things or do things that do not interest me or seem pointless. And I really struggle with writing and whilst I loved reading I absolutely hated dissecting books for GCSEs or the IB. So I can relate and I know how frustrating it can be.
My usual strategy is to essentially make whatever seems uninteresting become interesting if I can- find a niche that I can explore or something about it that relates to another interest etc. That might be more difficult in this case though but can you maybe trick yourself into making it into a challenge (like - can I manage to do xx hours on this?) or if you have to go through the characters can you as a bonus maybe think of all the ways in which they are annoying and stereotypical and how you would have made them different? (just an idea) try to turn your frustration with it into something that can somehow engage you. Even if it is just thinking of all the flaws in the book - if it captures your interest maybe it will help you study what you need. I also used to quite like making my own set of nice notes or mindmaps with colours etc and that was quite satisfying and made it a bit more interesting.
Finally, just remind yourself that in a few months you will never ever have to look at 'An Inspector Calls again' . the big advantage is that the further you get in education the more choice you have in terms of what you actually study. At my university it was amazing and I could pick subjects from year 1 and had a lot of flexibility- there were some topics I liked less of course but by year 3 I had almost complete freedom and could explore what I was interested in. So it can only get better after this.
And I just want to say as well that I have a huge respect for your writing skills!! I find writing really horrible and I have massive respect for anyone who is so comfortable with it as you!!
You can do this. Find some way of making studying for this English GCSE into a challenge and if possible try to make it interesting in some way. Good luck!!