What is the right thing to do?

YW.

I would say that if they are true friend and you explain how you want to explore and more authentically express your self as things have become clear to you, and you want to actively empower yourself in this way, it should not impinge on their freedom of expression. They will, hopefully understand and celebrate your uniqueness with out having to have anyone feel special, just unique. Truly. No one is the boss of anyone else.

This is someone I've known for 13/14 years. I had explained previously my reason for wearing them. However, I am late diagnosed and only now knowing what can help, so I can understand that being confusing to people that have never known me this way. I don't mind anybody asking why I'm wearing them, if it's to understand. But this did feel like I would have to abandon my self and own needs for the sake of theirs. I'm just not sure where the line is there.

Thank you for your reply, it's good to have two ways it could have been taken, so I can make sure I don't just see one side. 

Thank you so much for your reply, love the opening. You have a wonderful way with words. 

Ah ok, that helps to put things into a different perspective and understand things a little better. Thank you for that, also thanks for the dark humour, it's certainly a valuable tool! 

Ah of course. For context, this is a friend who is like family. I engage in conversation better with these support aids than without, as I go to them and it's a bright and noisy place, and using these helps me hear them and talk to them better. There's no way of being able to change where we meet, so I've tried to adapt with support aids and explained my reasons for doing so.

Thank you for your advice, I'll keep in mind how it may come across to others, especially since I'm unmasking later on in life and it's an adjustment for all. 

Thank you for your reply. This such a good way of looking at it. I hadn't thought of it in that way and it makes so much sense

This is wonderful advice. I'm not sure I'll be asking anyone to strip anytime soon, but I very much appreciate your reply and the laughter that came with  Thank you very much! 

Is this someone you were trying to be friends with and so were trying to be shift out of your own comfort zone to accommodate? If they ask you to take off your shades can you tell them why you want to keep them on? They may simply not understand what your going through.

If they were just trying to shift you to make themselves more comfortable remind them that they are not the boss of you.

Just find a quiet corner, and explain to them gently (preferably whilst picking your teeth with a flick knife, or perfoming firearm safety checks) that you suffer from Intermittent & Selective Autistic Homicidal Rage, and whilst you are very sorry about it there's a reason that person always catches you wearing aids to help mitigate it's effects. 

If you can act at all, at this point you want to start trembling and moaning gently "oh no, not again" whilst staring at your opponent intently.. 

To be honest, I'm not good at managing those sorts of situation myself, and am currently still searching for the perfect answer to the smartypants who regualrly ask me "Why do you have a little number on the side of your glasses?" but I have run the full gamut of explaining my reasoning politely over several years and am currently trialling variants of "Because I like it. Have you any more stupid questions?"... 

The smug questioning normies subject us to, is a refined psychic assault and should be replied to as such.

Unexpected rudeness is a powerful psychological tool when used right.  

We all have good acting skills. The moment any normie hears the word "Autism" or simply notices it, they automatically think they are on the high ground psychologcially speaking, and mostly it's just easier to let them do it.

But if you HAVE grown the skills to be intimidating or better yet, look after yourself in a psychological conflict (if you really HAVE TO you can do it, we all can with traing and or practice) and used them succesfully just a couple of times in the past, it makes it much easier to brush off the small day to day annoyances of dealing with the irritating  "Normalists" (we have a few on this forum too!) that you will inevitably encounter.

Peace is always better than war, but some people simply cannot leave others alone, and for them you need a less gentle and forgiving approach. It saves a lot of time and heartache in the long run.  

Moogle said:

is it wrong for someone to ask that I don't do it / comment on it because it makes them uncomfortable

This will depend on the context.

If you are dating someone and around them you are wearing sunglasses and ear defenders then it is going to make them feel like you don't want to see or hear them. It would certainly put up a barrier to small talk and any intimacy.

If it is a friend then you have to understand that it is going to have a similar effect of making them feel unwelcome.

Do you want to block them out when around them? Unless you do I think you need to lose the ear defenders around them (but make sure it is in a quiet environment) - the glasses you can get away with I think.

hello in response to what you’ve said here I am going to say it is wrong for that person to complain about you or draw attention to your sensory needs. that is an accommodation, something that helps you navigate every day life easier. you have a disability and that is why you need to use those sensory aids, it would be like telling a wheelchair user that they are distracting you because of them using a wheelchair, it’s just something that shouldn’t be said.

overall, that was not a fair thing for the other person to do and if they wouldn’t treat another disabled person like that, then they shouldn’t treat you like that or anyone else in general.

just tell them you are blind and watch them recoil in horror at sounding like a douchebag to a blind person lol

or you could say that their entire outfit disturbs you and you demand they they strip off right there and once they strip off youd be glad to take your glasses off.