Published on 12, July, 2020
Do you love repetition too?
Since I was little I've loved repetition. When I was a toddler I had this Bob the Builder Muck toy which was interactive with sound effects and my parents said I used to play the same sound over and over again. It drove them mad apparently!
Oops!
I'm the same with clothes, using the same coloured cups, playing the same CDs in the Viva, same music in the house and watching the same movies over and over again. I never get tired. Repetition is a huge part of my routine and I have a meltdown whenever my routine is broken. It's like when I go out I always repeat the same route, my route from home to the shops hasn't changed since I was at secondary school!
Like if I eat and drink it's always at certain times. Never before, never after. The timing has to be just right otherwise my routine is broken.
I think it's the predictability I like, the certainty, because I know it's there and it will always be there. I can repeat, continue the repetition, its like it's set in stone and can never be changed. My dad says my love of repetition is unhealthy, my mum is much more supportive and understanding of it. She says so long as it's not causing me any harm then I should enjoy it.
I don't think of my repetitive behaviour as repetitive but as routine, I have to have a couple of buckets of coffee to jump start me iin the morning and the only thing I can face eating is toast. I wear the same clothes together as outfits and rarely see the need to break the pattern, not that I have many clothes. I do like to have some routine, it gives the day structure, others sometimes have problems with it and say I'm not spontaneous enough. But, I've noticed that not spontaneous enough is a very loaded term, it usually means me doing something with them regardless of what I'm doing, routine or not.
Yes! I always repeat everything! Same foods for months, same things for breakfast lunch etc. same clothes, when I buy clothes I often buy two pairs, so I can wear same things even when they are inhe laundry. I have a deep connection with my things and clothes too. Doing same things, listening to the same music endlessly, rewatching, rereading, repeat repeat and again and again. That’s my life and I love it!
Yeah, since my diagnosis I've leaned more heavily into repetition as I find it therapeutic. I like drumming, juggling, and playing certain video games. Pacing has always been a big thing of mine, too, I'll pace back and forth for hours at time thinking through ideas. All good fun!
Predictability can be good in some instances, yes, but I think it's also important to acknowledge change is an important (and inevitable) part of life.
Repetition makes me think of The Fall.