Pronouns...

Godspeed Number.my clothes are heading towards threadbare soon so I will need to shop at some point. But there are few things worse than the confusion of ‘what is correct’, while feeling judged for even being there (am I in the right shop? That music sounds like it’s for young people! And it’s so loud! Can’t think, run away, run away). If I can get away with it I’ll just buy all my clothes  from the supermarket from now on. Well, I’ve mostly been doing that for a while. Not sure I have anything that wasn’t bought pre-Covid. That’s not *too* bad… is it? 

I think everyone here is too nice and reasonable to not cool down and find common ground. Maybe unfair to ‘weaponise’ Dogtooth’s parting words, but… ‘keep looking after each other.’ I think we will.

Change is always scarier for some than others. But we’re headed as a species  to the same collective place - ever greater diversity and acceptance. Its inevitable. But it requires pacing. That means shifting ratios of people on each ‘side’ (to oversimplify a spectrum) over a longer time than well live to see get wrapped up. In the meantime, let’s engage as politely as we can over any separations in perspective. I’ve seen much worse attempts on that front  than this thread! 

Namaste, Everybody.  Well, where to start ? (without getting shot in the face by a stray bullet !)  I see a myriad of colours, textures and noises in what has been written above by all.

......and after some short, mindful reflection.....do you know what.... I have MORE than enough to contend with this morning, without worrying about entering this fray.

I need to visit "normal" shops this morning to some buy "smart" trousers and "smart" shoes.

God help me....

I sort of understood that you were going for ‘I’m old and doing my best to keep up, but it’s worth it to be part of the ever more inclusive now and future’. But I also think that it came out a bit more glib than you really intended (I’ve done the same on other matters I’m sure) so Simon’s post is very understandable- and I agree with its philosophy 100% while recognising that you weren’t as out of alignment with it as your initial words made it seem. As I say, I think you intended it to be self-deprecation but it inadvertently came out a little ‘PC gone mad!’ 

im prone to the odd Freudian slip myself, so yours about you being put out making the ‘physical change’ is slightly fascinating to me. Almost like you were the one transitioning. But really, it’s just a short period of adjustment. No more inconvenient than when you keep writing 2022 in January but then have 2023 habitually in mind by March. Actually maybe *that* sounds glib, we’re all human and flawed  and imperfect communicators. But we do our best, and meet in the middle

And can people not see the humour in my proposed mistreatment of my long suffering G/f? 

There's a problem here alright, but it isn't my attitude towards my fellow men, much as a couple of very committed people are attempting to reframe it...

There is a lot of intolerance in this thread, but none of it is coming from MY i/p address...

We really could do with a separate section perhaps a "naughty step" where threads that attract outrage can go for later examination by the participants when cooler heads prevail. Maybe even those who take offence could click a button, and the offending point of view instantly vanish from public view?

Then when someone says something that someone with a different view point thinks means the OP is really saying something else, you can simply edit them away without bothering the mods... 

Yeah, I'm starting to get a bit sarky now, so it's time to follow my own "Forum Survival advice", and quit the keyboard. Those who are upset by me or this thread would do well to go and find that "forum survival guide" post, it was written specifically to help people deal more painlessly & sucessfully with people like me...

Simon, as a non-binary person I just wanted to say thank you so much for your eloquent solidarity and support. We absolutely need more allies who are as courageous. 

And if anyone sees this and needs support, I'll try to sort out my messages so we can all connect. Feel very free to reach out <3 

It's not each other it's me, and people are trying to put words and ideas into my mouth which simply are not there.

If just one of you notes the irrationality going on here, and then asks "where does it come from"? Then I didn't waste my time.

I'm done explaining myself and defending myself, people here clearly know my mind better than I do. 

Can I just play devils advocate for a minute, whilst every subject should be on the table, some can become very emotive. There was a discussion about 9 months ago relating to gender and transgender identity, it ended in a complete ‘ bun fight’, some of the people involved ended up leaving the site. On both sides, people will have very strong opinions, we struggle with the rest of the world, this is our safe place, please don’t start biting chunks out of each other. 

clever girl, that did not occur to me

Lol just get a bigger bed. That's what I did 

Agreed, different is fine with me. Just Phobic of People because as Sperg said they're dangerous and also scary 

"Approach with caution" is what I think when I see people lol.

I would need to loose 50kg to be able to do that

because they are dangerous

but not because they're different

I'm with her. And with good reason too.

I do consider others. The majority of people who read this will not find it anything else than slightly humourous. A tiny minority of very shrill people however will attempt to read more into it than was written, or see malice where there is none. 

And can no-one see the gaping double standard where the site now has accomodations for these new ways of speaking, but any attempt to discuss anything but the ideal draws carefully written attempts to defame my character?

I personally find some of what's going on here to be nothing short of abuse, and an attempt at bullying, and when enough complaints have been filed no doubt it'll be found to be hate speech... 

I did know what appears to be a trans couple, It was not an "honour" they were just some nice people that I can actually like. They didn't MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT OR WATCH MY P'S and Q's, so I had plenty of time for them...  

It is a funny old world. Lots of changes occuring all the time. I don't like it lol.

*goes back to hiding under my bed*

I'm part of the Phobic of Everyone group :P 

He is a hermit, phobic of everyone, speaking woodish  Btw me too

YOU are seeing what is not there, to be honest. Lighten up, please this is a no hate zone.

What appals me is how quickly some people take umbrage and outrage at a simple exposition of a situation and a light hearted application of humour at the end.

It's demanded of me that I respect new values that are in opposition to all that I was taught when I was young, and to be honest, if it leads to greater acceptance of different people and their attitudes, that has the look of a good idea, so why not? Not like it really affected me until today. It's physically doing the change  the change I find difficult, not being asked to make it. Exactly the same as when a friend changed her name once.

That these new values make life complicated for some in ways that I am sure were not intended, like Loz's B/F (and fair play to him, for sticking by his girl) is not me expressing hate, just recounting events.

I'm definitely not trans"phobic" but yes I do have some remains of the previous set of conditioning I endured for at least 2 decades,and if you want to hate anyone, hate the people who drummed one set of values into my generation, then discarded them in the next.   

Especially when they do it to YOUR generation in a few years time.