Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, new member here. I've only recently been diagnosed with autism so I'm doing a lot of learning. Piecing together things that I thought was just me being crazy and unlovable a lot of the time was actually undiagnosed autism. It hasn't felt good though and has strangely left me feeling more isolated and stressed.
My housemate is away and last night my downstairs neighbours were playing music so loudly I could basically feel it through the floor. I tried knocking/ringing on their door but they didn't open it, and eventually I got so stressed by it I couldn't eat and completely broke down. I think loneliness and things being really busy at work haven't helped, but is getting this upset over noisy neighbours normal for people with autism or am I just extra sensitive?
Any shared stories or info would be appreciated. Thanks
Noisy neighbours are a nuisance for any one. If you have noise sensitivities you've got that problem to a factor of 10.
Can you have a word with your council's noise abatement people?
First I wanna reassure you, first, you are always loveable, and second, you are not alone. I always find it's never just one thing contributing to the melt downs and very often they have actualy been building up for longer than I initially realise too. I realise it feels bad to not get anywhere if your neighbour is being unreasonable and won't even discuss it, and that even discussing it could feel very awkward. I think when your housemate comes back, getting support from them if you need to confront the neighbour would be best, in the mean time and for potential future noise intrusions I would highly recomend some inexpensive ear protectors or noise cancelling headphones. Personally I put calm music in in-ear buds under some muffler headphones that I picked up at a motorcycle race. I will drop a link to the type of protectors I'm refering to, they do not cancel all noise but they do make existing noises a lot quieter, and quiet noises almost undetectable. www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_1_5
It is common for autistic people to be ultra sensitive to certain noises. Exposure can result in sensory overload and trigger a meltdown. If you are stressed to start with (about other things) that will exacerbate the situation and amplify the emotional response that such a situation triggers.
The emotional response is complex. What can start out as sensory overload becomes more complicated and deep rooted. I have experienced a lot of anger in such situations in the past, much of it directed inwardly. Feeling angry that I have to endure it and also being afraid of any kind of confrontation with the neighbours. Knowing that the way it affects you is due to being autistic should help you to be a little kinder to yourself about getting upset.
Unfortunately soundproofing is inadequate in most housing, especially flats. People can be inconsiderate and selfish.
You mentioned being able to feel the noise through the floor. This is something I have really struggled with. Earplugs or noise cancelling headphones can help to dampen the actual noise, but they don't help with the vibrations and 'feeling' the noise. I don't know what the solution is for that, other than moving.
Years ago I had neighbours who used their tumble dryer for several hours every day. The vibrations from it was like torture for me. I couldn't bear to be anywhere inside my house when that machine was switched on. Thankfully they moved before I was driven completely mad by it.
Totally normal . I litrally feel like I want to peel my skin of when there is noise I can't control such as loud music. Misophonia is an element of autism . Look into sensory overload and get yourself a emergency kit . I have ear plugs , noise cancelling headset and blind fold if I need a brain break. Maybe try explaining to your neighbours outside of the situation see if you can't come to a compromise x
hi hope your ok
Hi, and welcome.
NAS83740 said: is getting this upset over noisy neighbours normal for people with autism or am I just extra sensitive?
Sensitivies are normal for people with autism, and this particular one is certainly my normal.
Noise sensitivity is a big thing with me but also, I think it's really wrong of people to make so much noise that it disturbs your peace in your home.
NAS83740 said:my downstairs neighbours were playing music so loudly I could basically feel it through the floor.
I don't think people should behave like this, but sadly they do.
I've tried lots of different approaches to the problem of noise (over the years and in various homes) especially the music of others including talking to them about it, wearing earplugs, leaving the house (sometimes at midnight to sleep somewhere else), crying and mostly, getting very angry.
My husband had to restrain me a few years ago because a neighbour was being deliberately provocative with his music.
It makes me go a bit mad.
So, in conclusion, I'm really sorry you have to suffer this.
I hope that in time you may either get new neighbours or be able to live somewhere more peaceful.
When I purchased my 1st flat, having as few neighbours as possible was a big priority.
I managed to find a new block of only two flats and I actually rang the doorbell and had a conversation with the upstairs neighbour about noise before buying.
All the best.