Am I the only one here who likes close physical contact with other living beings?

I like physical contact but only with the people I know and love. I don't like surprise contact, it has to be planned and agreed. I can't do a spur of the moment hug. 

i get a very strong ASMR response sometimes

I like physical contact but it has to be with people I know and trust. Definitely not with animals, I'm allergic to pretty much all of them sadly.

A secret pleasure I've enjoyed for many decades is having my hair washed and cut in womens places.

Shop around until you find one you like...

I've always dreaded the "how do you want it question", but I solved it eventually by saying, "please just make me look as nice and employable as possible". Whenever possible always let women "style" you, most times they like it, and mostly they do a better job than you would get elsewhere. 

I did always feel slightly guilty liking it so much, especially as I was always in a relationship already, but it is essentially an innocent pleasure, but how nice it was to actually enjoy having my hair cut.

Caelus said:

i get a weird strong light feeling (from chest up to throat and maybe in my head somewhere possibly to the mid or back brain or behind the eyes) when hairdresser does my hair

i love head massage, but the problem is I won't let many people touch my head, 

i probably would like that but i never get the chance to find out.
any touch feels weird and alien and makes me tense up, thats because im not used to it though.
a guy at work probably figured that out and began getting touchy finding it amusing how i tense up and react oddly to any contact. although he eventually got fired for stealing phones. i should probably buy a massage or something to work through that touch issue. although seems im not destined, tried to in the last week when my parents went off on holiday and i had a week off work and every place was shut anyway. fate doesnt want me to have contact or touch of any kind it seems.

although i do like cats, they make me feel happy. 
and i get a weird strong light feeling (from chest up to throat and maybe in my head somewhere possibly to the mid or back brain or behind the eyes) when hairdresser does my hair or a optomotrist puts their face close to mine doing that weird eye light close up they do. probably super sensitive to oxytocin that it feels stronger than it should do, unless that is what everyone feels all the time in normie lives. or its could also be anxiety maybe lol but nah it feels good.

I find it extremely comforting to hug people and hold animals. But I only like to hug a few specific people i.e. siblings, mum, best friend. And only if I'm in the right mood. 

I think the best animals to cuddle are cats. And chickens, and rabbits/hamsters/guinea pigs. Snakes are surprisingly nice (like a weighted blanket around your neck). Lizards are cool to look at but not as nice to hold.

I crave contact, but am too much like Lenny from 'Of Mice and Men'.

Untoward said:

When someone hugged me from behind (why even do this?!) I punched them.

Only sensible thing to do in that situation. Who does that?

I very much like close physical contact, things like hugs and skin on skin contact (holding hands etc).

It sucks that I can almost never have it.

The thing I can't handle is unexpected physical contact. It feels like such a violation, even if it's just someone tapping me on the shoulder, it makes me want to curl up and die. When someone hugged me from behind (why even do this?!) I punched them.

If a hug is someone holding out their arms and I know it's going to happen then it's good. Or if the dog curls up next to me and falls asleep with its face in my lap. I am so starved of oxytocin due to living the life of a reclusive hermit.

I like close contact with people but it has to be the right person and when I'm in a comfortable happy mood. Growing up I didn't like hugs, probably because my mum used to just suddenly swoop down like a bird of prey on me. It scared me. I need people to say that they're about to hug me or it's too triggering.

Without close human contact I think I would surely go mad.

Good for you. The descriptions of the transactions and why they happen is really useful, and some of the "games", are IMMENSELY time saving, if you can recognise them before they engulf you... 

I'm working on it, started reading 'Games people play', haven't got too far into it because of procrastination. I also bought:

    'Overcoming Perfection' by Roz Shafran, Sarah Egan and Tracey Wade

    'Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness' by Gillian Butler.

    'Overcoming Low Self-Esteem' by Melanie Fennell

Maybe I should read 'Overcoming Perfectionism' first, then I might get through the other books in a reasonable amount of time, lol.

The stuff in 'Games people play' about Adult, Parent, Child responses makes a lot of sense, I'm starting to see conversations I have with others in a different light already.

Hugs were rare in my life until I read the book I mention in my profile, and started to understand the dynamic.

Then they came at a pace & timing with which I was much more comfortable. Just because it isn't "built in" does not mean you can't learn to do the right thing at the right time.. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting hugs, but there is something very wrong with wanting them and not getting them. Hugs are great, it's when you get to loving someone or being loved by someone that things get uber complicated. 

But let's get a few people past the point of involuntary loneliness by sharing the tools I used for my own transformation from "loner" to "dad" (which it turned out was where I wanted to get to!).

Get started quick, because changing your fate is like steering a barge, it takes a lot of effort and the results don't come quick, although once the turning starts, it starts and you'll see it. You may be an Unloved Loner now, but you write humanly enough, for you I think, it may well be "a bit of reading" can get you out of that rut...

I love hugs, but they are very rare in my life. Doesn't matter too much who they come from. All I know is I feel extremely happy to have some close contact like that. Just wish it would happen more often but I'm too anxious to ask anyone or stand around wearing a "Free Hugs" t-shirt.

• My wife has to ask before touching me, I’m not horrible about it but she knows that it just gives me time to prepare for it. I’m in the middle of a book called A Kind Of Spark, it has two sisters as the central characters who are both autistic . In one part they are walking home through a wood and chatting. The younger sister holds her sisters hand, she thinks in her head that it will only be for a short while as neither of us really likes it! The writer is autistic and got it spot on. If I hold hands, after about 30 seconds my hand is wriggling.

I like a hug and love massage & reflexology 

I need hugs and affection from my Wife and Daughter regularly. I need to know that I am loved and my way to combat daily anxiety due to sensory issues regarding work and life are best regulated through touch and verbal reassurance that I am loved. It's a shock when my Daughter says she loves me, because she's got ASD with PDA, so it means a lot.

Yes, I like physical contact with people I know well and have an emotional connection with, but I hate touching or being touched by strangers, or people I do not know well. I have an affinity with cats, having had at least one throughout most of my life.

I like physical contact with my family and maybe my friend. I also like the deep pressure of a hug, very reassuring.

Yes I understand what you mean about right ness, humans by evolutionary nature are social beings so physical contact for some of us as autistic people is really important.

Your opinion of physical contact obviously depends on your own autistic sensory profile, so I guess that is why there lots of people on the forum who don’t like it.