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Am I the only one here who likes close physical contact with other living beings?

I Sperg

I found that whilst I don't like having close personal contact of any sort forced on me, I fundamentally enjoy close physical contact with another living being.

I Like "hugs", curling up with a cat on the sofa (or indeed in bed), getting into bed when there is someone else there. 

Yet here this forum seems chock full of people who do not seem to.

I was just wondering if there is anyone else who understands that fundamental sense of happiness and "rightness" I feel when I am close to another living breathing mammal. (I've no real experience of insects or reptiles. Although I can't think of any insect I'd want to cosy up next to...)

Parents

  • I love hugs, but they are very rare in my life. Doesn't matter too much who they come from. All I know is I feel extremely happy to have some close contact like that. Just wish it would happen more often but I'm too anxious to ask anyone or stand around wearing a "Free Hugs" t-shirt.

  • in reply to Cat Waiter

    Hugs were rare in my life until I read the book I mention in my profile, and started to understand the dynamic.

    Then they came at a pace & timing with which I was much more comfortable. Just because it isn't "built in" does not mean you can't learn to do the right thing at the right time.. 

    There's nothing wrong with wanting hugs, but there is something very wrong with wanting them and not getting them. Hugs are great, it's when you get to loving someone or being loved by someone that things get uber complicated. 

    But let's get a few people past the point of involuntary loneliness by sharing the tools I used for my own transformation from "loner" to "dad" (which it turned out was where I wanted to get to!).

    Get started quick, because changing your fate is like steering a barge, it takes a lot of effort and the results don't come quick, although once the turning starts, it starts and you'll see it. You may be an Unloved Loner now, but you write humanly enough, for you I think, it may well be "a bit of reading" can get you out of that rut...

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  • in reply to Cat Waiter

    Hugs were rare in my life until I read the book I mention in my profile, and started to understand the dynamic.

    Then they came at a pace & timing with which I was much more comfortable. Just because it isn't "built in" does not mean you can't learn to do the right thing at the right time.. 

    There's nothing wrong with wanting hugs, but there is something very wrong with wanting them and not getting them. Hugs are great, it's when you get to loving someone or being loved by someone that things get uber complicated. 

    But let's get a few people past the point of involuntary loneliness by sharing the tools I used for my own transformation from "loner" to "dad" (which it turned out was where I wanted to get to!).

    Get started quick, because changing your fate is like steering a barge, it takes a lot of effort and the results don't come quick, although once the turning starts, it starts and you'll see it. You may be an Unloved Loner now, but you write humanly enough, for you I think, it may well be "a bit of reading" can get you out of that rut...

Children
  • in reply to Cat Waiter

    Good for you. The descriptions of the transactions and why they happen is really useful, and some of the "games", are IMMENSELY time saving, if you can recognise them before they engulf you... 

  • in reply to I Sperg

    I'm working on it, started reading 'Games people play', haven't got too far into it because of procrastination. I also bought:

        'Overcoming Perfection' by Roz Shafran, Sarah Egan and Tracey Wade

        'Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness' by Gillian Butler.

        'Overcoming Low Self-Esteem' by Melanie Fennell

    Maybe I should read 'Overcoming Perfectionism' first, then I might get through the other books in a reasonable amount of time, lol.

    The stuff in 'Games people play' about Adult, Parent, Child responses makes a lot of sense, I'm starting to see conversations I have with others in a different light already.