Hello
I don't really know what I am looking for, but some help or advice or traits to look out for from you lovely ladies with autism.
My daughter has been struggling ever since her dad left the family (divorced) she was 4½, first of all it was separation anxiety and she would be awful if I left her, then it grew into very bad anxiety but she also can't cope with certain things. She has had a lot of counselling, but her anxiety coping measures don't seem to help her at all. She now has a new counsellor and 2 sessions in she has asked if I have ever suspected autism as she is showing traits. (Can I just add that until she was 9 or 10 she would always ask when is Daddy coming back - he didn't keep in contact much in the first instance but now sees them every other weekend, My daughter doesn't like his partner or 5 years and won't stay over for the weekend as she isn't comfortable there).
There are certain things she can't cope with, such as noise - this has been since she was little, but in the classroom, if the others get unruly and disruptive (including noise level elevation) she just has a meltdown and can't cope. I have asked the school to note her anxiety and not drop a test on her because she can't cope with that she just sits there panicking and ends up crying and failing, but if it is a planned test and she has weeks to prepare and revise she excels (her predicted grades at the moment are A's and B's). She is a very bright girl and has a love of art, but I feel that the school environment gets on top of her at times. She has friends but if the friendship gets heavy she backs right off but she also trusts too much, she will tell her friends anything and everything and then as friends do at that age, they sometimes use it as a weapon and she gets hurt.
She can also go weeks with being okay with school and then she won't go because she is exhausted and she says she physically can't get out of bed (her iron levels have been checked).
I have allowed this to happen as I thought it was her anxiety and depression (she has also self harmed and still does on occasions when she can't cope)
If we go out for a family meal, even though there are a few of us (all family)and she knows in advance she can sit there with her leg bouncing up and down all evening and won't eat anything, not a starter or a dessert, anything at all, and may pick at chips someone has left because she is hungry. She will have a drink but that's if coerced.
She stims either with anxiety rings or will tap her fingers each in turn to her thumb on that hand and do this for quite some time if in a gathering or crowd.
I am trying to understand her anxiety and usually let her know in advance, ask her if she wants to come with us when I know she may feel uncomfortable in certain situations, but I feel I am failing her so much at the moment.
When her counsellor spoke to me alone and suggested it she said she had noticed traits, like stimulating with her fingers, she won't make eye contact with her when she is talking at length, she talks in the third person and with accents (either for the people she is discussing or telling a situation that involves people, or an accent for herself).
Having looked on your site I can relate to some of the things on here so well with her. I know people label and all sorts these day, especially when looking for answers but she fits so much into some of these categories. The accents, I just thought she was good at, I never would have thought there was a reason as to why she talks in an accent, she spends a lot of time in her room (but all teenagers do), but her room is a mess, she will tidy it once in a blue moon when she has the energy and mindset, if I tell her off for something (she has a 10 year old brother and they argue) she will just stare at me with a blank look as if she's not registering it. If things do get heated, she will take herself off upstairs to avoid it all, as if she can't cope.
Her counsellor is going to take me through a history of her life to see if there are things there that can be picked up for possible testing for my daughter. She did say its usually late 20's for it to be picked up in women.
Having been diagnosed and experiences - do you have any thoughts?
Thank you in advance :-)
