Verbal abuse and disrespect from my daughter

Okay, let’s talk about language, because high functioning autism is a term that often used to refer to an individual who has autism spectrum disorder but appear typical and doesn’t require support. It’s not productive term and often the term is used deny autistic individuals support. 

As an autistic adult without a co-occurring intellectual disability I need to inform that your child may miss social cures, Miss interpret non literal language and have a problem recognising and regulating their emotional state doesn’t mean they are stupid. 

the language you use around them, the false body language you fake around them. It’s extremely stressful for the autistic individual that relies on other cues to help them compensate for their lack of ability to understand neurologically typical communication. 

The way you talk about them in front of other people when they are in the room. Even when you believe their out of range and you talk about their deficiencies to others.

They hear it all, even from your mouth when you think their not able to hear. If they don’t hear it from you, they hear it from teachers, other children and other parents. 

All this information get processed and fixated on by a child’s brain in an emotional way weather or not they are autistic. 

Imagine not understanding your own emotion but understanding hostility and the feeling of resentment from people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. It stresses you out. 

Hostility, negativity and resentment is what you are unknowingly communicating to your child, you can try hard to hide those feeling, you can fake your body language and change your behaviour but the way the autistic mind works, we tend to use every tiny recognisable pattern in body language, behaviours to recognise way of common communication and understanding the world around us. 

the problem your describing is really common and it often the parents causing the issue and not the child. You need to re evaluate your expectations your placing on your child. 

a child often learns to respect others by how their treated. If your not respecting your child’s needs or forcing them into situations their not ready for, they going to communicate that aggressively and resist it, it is why many autistic individuals are mentally immature from their peers because those with demand avoidance profile will resist a demand and not progress until the pressure is removed from them.  

Okay, let’s talk about language, because high functioning autism is a term that often used to refer to an individual who has autism spectrum disorder but appear typical and doesn’t require support. It’s not productive term and often the term is used deny autistic individuals support. 

As an autistic adult without a co-occurring intellectual disability I need to inform that your child may miss social cures, Miss interpret non literal language and have a problem recognising and regulating their emotional state doesn’t mean they are stupid. 

the language you use around them, the false body language you fake around them. It’s extremely stressful for the autistic individual that relies on other cues to help them compensate for their lack of ability to understand neurologically typical communication. 

The way you talk about them in front of other people when they are in the room. Even when you believe their out of range and you talk about their deficiencies to others.

They hear it all, even from your mouth when you think their not able to hear. If they don’t hear it from you, they hear it from teachers, other children and other parents. 

All this information get processed and fixated on by a child’s brain in an emotional way weather or not they are autistic. 

Imagine not understanding your own emotion but understanding hostility and the feeling of resentment from people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. It stresses you out. 

Hostility, negativity and resentment is what you are unknowingly communicating to your child, you can try hard to hide those feeling, you can fake your body language and change your behaviour but the way the autistic mind works, we tend to use every tiny recognisable pattern in body language, behaviours to recognise way of common communication and understanding the world around us. 

the problem your describing is really common and it often the parents causing the issue and not the child. You need to re evaluate your expectations your placing on your child. 

a child often learns to respect others by how their treated. If your not respecting your child’s needs or forcing them into situations their not ready for, they going to communicate that aggressively and resist it, it is why many autistic individuals are mentally immature from their peers because those with demand avoidance profile will resist a demand and not progress until the pressure is removed from them.  

Hi, she was diagnosed just 3 weeks ago so we are learning everything we can. We have put lots in place to help and support her.

We show her love, compassion, respect and pick our battles.

Can I ask how I should handle.this situation...

This morning she was tangling up her brother birthday balloons, he asked her twice to stop and she didn't. He flicked her so she launched him over a chair.

Then on way to school she antagonised him and me ( because she was angry over being chastised for pushing him earlier, he had also been chastised for flicking her) and then she kicked him so hard in the side of his leg he fell to the ground screaming.

She then ran home and refused to go to school whilst I was seeing to my 4 year old son.

Please...how should I respond to this behaviour?