Published on 12, July, 2020
I am an 18 year old boy with autism and ever since I have left high school I haven't had a friend that lives close to me, can I have some advice on how to change that?
I shoot the breeze with people that i know already have something in common with me. Bumper stickers on cars as we load groceries, pins on baristas aprons that resonate with me, people in the same book genre section in the library, etc. And then I say something like "I don't know about you, but making friends as adults is weird. I'd love to maybe go on a walk or get coffee with you sometime. What do you think?". So far, I've done this roughly five times and it's been a success each time. We meet up and go from there. Two of them didn't make it past the first friend date, but I'm friends now with three people. And truth is, if someone says no, that's okay too. I don't really take it personally. The key for me though is to be genuine and sincere.
I like this advice/approach - it’s very positive and I’m glad it’s worked for you. My son couldn’t do this though (although I’m sure he would love to) because his social anxiety is quite severe. He really would love to have some friends and a girlfriend but he finds it very hard to talk to people. In educational settings he has selective mutism. However with people he knows well (family mainly) he is very talkative. He’s really intelligent, has a great sense of humour, is really kind and considerate, very good looking, if he didn’t have social anxiety I think he’d have wonderful friendships etc - but it’s that initial barrier of social anxiety that stops him bind able to connect with people. It’s so difficult for him.