Need help making friends

I have the problem of being able to make friends but those friends not reciprocating in the effort of asking me to hangout and it's always on me to initiate which in the end I end up hating. Then I drop the friendship like a cold stone.

Oh! That is pretty brave. I’m kinda socially anxious myself as well. I game online mainly. 

I like this advice/approach - it’s very positive and I’m glad it’s worked for you. My son couldn’t do this though (although I’m sure he would love to) because his social anxiety is quite severe. He really would love to have some friends and a girlfriend but he finds it very hard to talk to people. In educational settings he has selective mutism. However with people he knows well (family mainly) he is very talkative. He’s really intelligent, has a great sense of humour, is really kind and considerate, very good looking, if he didn’t have social anxiety I think he’d have wonderful friendships etc - but it’s that initial barrier of social anxiety that stops him bind able to connect with people. It’s so difficult for him. 

 I shoot the breeze with people that i know already have something in common with me. Bumper stickers on cars as we load groceries, pins on baristas aprons that resonate with me, people in the same book genre section in the library, etc. And then I say something like "I don't know about you, but making friends as adults is weird. I'd love to maybe go on a walk or get coffee with you sometime. What do you think?". So far, I've done this roughly five times and it's been a success each time. We meet up and go from there. Two of them didn't make it past the first friend date, but I'm friends now with three people. And truth is, if someone says no, that's okay too. I don't really take it personally. The key for me though is to be genuine and sincere.

Hi, I recently turned 18 and am also in need of finding good friends. Unfortunately, I'm in the states, so I'm open to being online gaming friends if you are.

Hi Anna 

I'm so sorry 

I'm new to here and didn't realise. Will remember this for future reference xx

Hi Ness, I edited your comment due to it breaking rule no. 2 of the online community:

2. This Community forum is public, so do not post personal or identifying details. This includes, but is not limited to, full names, addresses, contact details, social media, or photographs of yourself. (updated February 2020).

More info can be found at https://community.autism.org.uk/p/rules.

No further action will be taken.

Best wishes,

Anna Mod

Hi my email is [Edited by Moderator] if you want to communicate through this and I can send you my son's tag id for the ps x

Removed by Anna Mod

Thanks plinky    good idea I could give my email and do through there then delete x

Good question - I've never tried - after looking just now it is not possible unless maybe on a friends list. Failing that, exchange the info and once you guys have connected - I would delete the info.

Ok plinky I know I might sound alittle silly but how do you private message on here x

Probably better to send that identifying mark in a private message

Hi, he prefers to game on his ps4, his ID on this community is Android Apex xx

Hey sorry I replied in wrong place . I understand why he would be worried. Let me know how you would like me to send his Id and also what your son plays or like PC or ps xx

That's very true in what you say. I think sometimes it can be hard to be rejected and like my son he doesn't always comprehend why people are not nice . In life there will always be nice and not so nice . Me, I would just get rid and move on x

Course I understand that completely . How would you like me to send it ? What does he play on PC or ps ? Xx

That is the nature of online gaming - every gaming community on our planet is transient.

Some last for hours and days - some last for years. Some are good, most are bad. The only way to find the best online gaming community for you is to keep on searching them as you play your associated game. Friends you make on the way will stick around. Use discord to keep track of the good (and the bad if you so desire).

question is do you need to meet that friend in real life, I realised after many years that I don't have a need to see my friends in RL

That would be wonderful, thank you so much, at the moment my son is so nervous at starting new friendships incase the same thing happens again

Hi there 

If your son would like to play online with my son he would be happy as he has had same problem. He had people who  just deserted him and ignore him  I can send you my son's id name so your son could add him if you would like ? Xx