What made you realise you have/might have autism?

Secondary school I made a couple of friends that I have stuck to since.

Work based roller coaster of relationships has been my experience too. If I am diagnosed it will answer many questions I have had during my life about why I struggle so much at times.

I've only been diagnosed at 56, but looking. back the signs were there in junior school, I definitely struggled with making friends and social stuff. Secondary school was difficult. I made a couple of friends and stuck to them like glue, whether they wanted me or not. Lol. Probably a kind of obsessive attachment really. I knew I had to have someone to survive

I worked for a big company most of my life, but it was a roller coaster of personal relationships. I now see why!

I got to visit Pisa and Lucca last year. Great holiday! 

Sounds like myself.

My Gran was Houseproud to the nth Degree; which did my head in most of the time. Plus, she had no concept of boundaries. If she had nothing else to do, the same had to apply to all of us.

I was on an online meeting on Sunday afternoons; which clashed with her shopping plans. And she wasn't a pleasant shopper. However, I'm grateful to have given her a good send-off. Anniversary Mass for the family deceased this coming Saturday.

I find Italy fascinating.  I enjoy some of their cinema.  Then there's the history of the place.  Especially 20th century Italian History.

I don't know how a school could turn a blind eye where a kid loses a parent! 

At 13 i developed psychosis and by 15 i was out of education all together.  It was rough. 

I pray that todays generation do not suffer in the way we continue to do.

I think home life was where the biggest headaches were, at least for my parents, though there were difficulties at sshool, just not the social ostracism I experienced at secondary school. I think I probably acted out on a lot of the dysfunctions at home, both my parents had been neglected emotionally, or abused emotionally, they were what someone called 50's people.

University life was prey miserable too, especially as time wore on. After that there was the dole. Should have returned to Italy, except I had such a bad time there. My exchange student told me she did not want to be friends with me as she decided she didn't like English people because they were just like the Germans, and cold and detached. She spread plenty of poisonous gossip about me and the hostility hot to me. Then I stayed with a girl who turned out to be bipolar, or at least with spectacular depression, and the landlady was pro Musdolini, and told me England was the mother of gayness when the topic casually came up. I didn't have the courage to get out of the UK again I til the late 90's. 

Well, 0-13 were happy except that I had a different time because just as adolescence hit at 12/13, my dad got leukaemia and died a few months later. So as well as the mind and body changes, going to a new school etc, I had overwhelming grief to deal with. I was a zombie for years after 13. Everyone thought I was just a moody teenager, there was no counselling or support  

My daughter has had lots of help in adolescence, I'm not letting her suffer like I did.

That is also the story of my life.

Infant/primary ok - really structured and less complex

Secondary school - college - awful and more complex

University - really bad as utter chaos at times

Work life - why do we have rules which no-one follows? Argh!

Oh i'm glad i'm not alone on the spectrum in having a happy 0-13.   The teenage years are probably a great time for educational and mental health intervention  (just in case anyone in education is on here and listening) for those on the spectrum.  

I should work for NAS really. I'd be good at that..  I'll add to my list of unrealized dreams.

Same as you two. Wish I could go back to childhood. My life hasn't made sense since then.

Hi. Your three stages are exactly the same as mine.  Childhood good, "Big school" messed with my head and then in adulthood i turned to drink.  Now sober for 7 years.

childhood: normal I think 

secondary school age: increasing isolation 

adulthood: difficulties socially unless supported by drink 

 Before diagnosis  it was a once-off joke: my brother said ‘you take things so literally you must be autistic’.  I was in Cbt and mentioned the humour of my brother’s remark.  The therapist kept coming back to it and suggested I should get screened.  I was certain that the panel had diagnosed me incorrectly as having ASD.  After all even a surgeon might make the wrong diagnosis.  When I questioned a member of the diagnostic team  on how often they misdiagnose NT as autistic they said they wouldn’t know. 
Actually it explains a lot but my mother resists the diagnosis and defends my behaviour as being normal, despite my terrible teens ….and following.

Being autistic was not my choice but it’s good to know where my people are.

HI GUYS. GLAD TO FIND HOME HERE AND WHEREVER WE ARE, IN SPACE TIME AND IMAGINATION *

oops I’m not meant to have imagination 

Oh gosh I am right with you there! I am honest, and people don't like it.

Did you watch that episode of Friends where Ross moves into an apartment and the other inhabitants try and get him to pay for a leaving present for a maintenance man he's never met? I so identified with that.

Not long ago, I was visiting a clients office when a couple of the staff said they were having a leaving collection. 
The person leaving was nothing but a pain in the ***, rude and unhelpful.

So I said, “No, I didn’t like her, but I wish her well in her new career.”

SILENCE… Why was it so awkward to be honest? Why would I give money to someone (who’s an arsehole) because they’re leaving? 

Strange world.

Oh yes. I've been called weird, strange, odd, funny (as in peculiar) all my life. For no reason I can see. I'm just having a normal conversation with someone, then they say 'you're weird/ strange/ odd/ funny'. I've no idea why so I just stare at them.

I always knew I was different. I was happy on my own, hated change and found / find social activities painful. Back in the late 60's / 70's you simply learnt to camouflage very quickly. Even last week I was called "Odd" to my face,  Ive no understanding why they did, but its like a red hot blade in the chest that lingers. As the line in the Joker movie says;

"I thought my life was a tragedy, but now I realise it was one big comedy!" (To everyone but me)

After a suicide attempt with pills.  A mental health team decided that I was autistic. Before that I had zero knowledge of autism.