Published on 12, July, 2020
How does everyone find going shopping?
I find it difficult organising myself and remembering what to buy outside general food. i make a list of meals and usually do 2 shops a week. But it's the other stuff I have problems with like toiletries or cleaning because they all run out at different times. And you cant always get what you need from the same shop.
Then there's remembering greetings cards. Online card shops have helped although you pay a premium it's easier to choose and they send you reminders. I'm often late with birthday cards.
I've delegated buying lightbulb to my partner for the rest of our lives.
Then there's other non-necessary stuff. I'm known for umming and ahhhing, carrying something around the shop with me then putting it down at the last minute and not buying it. Or I go especially to buy something but it's not in stock then I give up. Then I think "well I'll try online" then there's too many different websites, measurements, prices etc.
Then I struggle when there's too much choice. I need new boot laces and tried a well known shoe repair who don't stock them. They said try the original shop. I did in store and online. No luck. The store said contact customer services. I did. They don't make them anymore. Why sell expensive boots if they don't sell matching replacement laces? That frustrated me. So I went online and spent ages looking at other online shops but because I can't see the laces in person I don't know which colour to choose.
The shop I buy make up from suddenly stopped selling the only face powder I've ever worn. Now I have to find a new one. Have you seen how much choice there is?! I crumbled all my old bits together and congealed it with some surgical spirit so I've got a "new" powder press but it won't last forever. When there's too much choice I give up. Or there's different offers depending on which shop you go to but then you can't always guarantee they have everything in stock.
Or if something is not specific enough to what I'm looking for, I don't think "oh this will do instead, save yourself time and just buy this one". Or I look at something jn detail and think "actually it's not very good quality"when most stuff isnt these days as it's all cheap imports. Or I won't buy something if it's not exactly like the old one. Or I think "shop around a bit more" then I end up having to get the first one as there was no other choice for all reasons listed above.
Then I wanted to take something back last week but I didn't have a receipt and they wouldn't even give me a credit note. I was ready for walking out of the shop and going home (not because i didnt get my own way but the principle of the matter with thr store policy frusytrated me and possibly because I was expecting a credit note as you can do in a lot of other stores) but it was a day out with a family member and I didn't want to spoil it. I couldn't concentrate for about an hour afterwards.
Has anyone got any tips? I take a list but it's remembering to put on it. Then when I get home usually that night we run out of something which I should've seen coming. Or my partner says "did you buy such a thing?" Well if he didn't tell me when I asked, then no. I do these shops in dribs and drabs. Maybe I need a routine of doing it on a certain day once a week or fortnight.
I'm going shopping in a bit. I wish myself luck.
I don't know if it's a spectrum thing but I have felt somewhat disorientated when things like that hapoen
welcome to this forum
There was a small supermarket on the housing estate that I used to live on, I shopped there several times a week, I knew where to find most things. Then one weekend they closed it, reopened it on the Monday with items in different parts of the shop from how they used to be, I found that most disconcerting, that things weren't where I thought they would be (it almost felt like I had lost my memory) - is that an Autistic spectrum thing (finding changes like that problematic)?
I relate to that so much, I keep umming and ahhhing whether I should get stuff. Just the other week my tablet died and I didn't know should I buy a new one or not.
Yes Friday is my errands day too. I think I might start keeping a list upstairs to add any sundries to when we run out. I started buying things in bulk too but that's a good idea I might do more of that. I started doing it with petrol then I only have to go once a fortnight instead of just putting a bit in every week.
ItsMyMind said: can spend hours, days, weeks researching, price matching and evaluating…phruuuugh!
Same here!
I don't know how much of it is some sort of anxiety I will make the wrong choice. I think sometimes it is just overwhelm of choice and finding decision making difficult.
yea i have different modes like "Building material mode", "groceries mode", "Charity shop setting 1" etc etc and when i go into one mode i find it hard to switch to another one, say if shops are closed.
I find my mind is very funny at times.
I have a non working day each Friday and keep a running To Do list on my phone. The list is actually multiple aide memoirs split into sections. I have my ‘Friday actions’ and ‘Shopping’ for example.
Having my To Do lists are the only way I can function. My memory is so bad. I hate that Groundhog Day feeling I get when it rolls round to my morning routine and I realise for the 10th day running I have forgotten to put ‘toothpaste’ on my shopping list because in the time it takes me to walk downstairs I have forgotten that I needed to add it to my Shopping list.
With sundries like cleaning/laundry products I prefer to buy multiple bottles so the need to replenish them quite so often is reduced. Saying that it’s my other half who does the big shop and (infuriatingly) does not buy things in bulk so we are always (to my mind) ‘running out’ of stuff which causes me physical stress.
Online shopping? I prefer it because I am more in control of the environment unlike real shops. I often get overwhelmed by choice in the real world too and can’t see the point of offering 30 slightly different versions of the same product. I often give up and come home. My husband knows if we are shopping for hardware not to ask about clothes shopping because I won’t have my ‘clothes-shopping head’ on. Saying that online shopping is one long and very deep rabbit hole for me. I can spend hours, days, weeks researching, price matching and evaluating…phruuuugh!
I very much hear your pain with makeup purchases. They are forever re-inventing their own products- I’m not sure it is actually possible to buy the same product again months apart. And yes: just too much choice!!! Saying that, I used to buy Prescriptives who pulled UK sales in the last down turn but life goes on and I stumbled onto something else which is perfect for me.
My To Do lists and a regular day really has improved life for meso that’s what I’d recommend
I wish I could live on a narrow boat then I'd only have room for the necessities and I wouldn't need to entertain whether the curtains are going to be long enough or if theyre going to get in the way of the cupboard. Or if they're the right shade of colour.
When I rented I always thought "I can't wait to get my own place and put my own stamp on it". I've always been interested in art & design etc. and now in a house we have bought, I couldn't care less. It all goes into landfill at the end of the day.
yea why not ?
Own the oddness
I like your supermarket map idea, out_of_step. And I also get stressed with clutter and stuff. I don't buy anything new now unless it's something I really do need and can't repurpose anything I already have. Sounds like you have more important things to think about so maybe go with your intuition there.
it does look a bit odd but hey "i gotta do it"
That's such a great idea! I automatically take off my sunglasses when I go into the shop. I didn't even think to keep them on. Thanks, aidie, I will try that tip
It's good you get everything from one place. I've always been quite savvy and know tesco isn't always the cheapest. I put my list in order of items at the supermarket! But in a sort of shopping list "map" on my paper.
I just think I need more structure. We plan meals etc. Its more the other stuff which I usually catch up on when it's thr holidays like buying house stuff. I actually think I'm not bothered about most things (like cushions etc). Having "stuff" adds to my stress. I just feel there's too much to think about at the moment. First world problems!
love it ---- i wear tinted glasses sometimes due to the lighting ( always bring them in case ) ---- this was an interesting read
Glad you gave got a good system! I like the tactile nature of shopping - I can check the quality myself and know what I'm putting in my basket. And not get weird substitutions!
I try to get everything from my local Tesco and use their online service to make a list before I go so I get an idea of prices and deals. Then I write a list before I go and cross off the bits I get. I walk down (it takes about 20 mins each way) so I can't get everything in one shop, but I like the walk and it forces me to get out of the flat. I structure my list in the order I will buy it judged on the location of goods in the store. I don't like to spend too much time in shops with fluorescent lights as they make me faint so I have to come up with ways of making the whole process very efficient - in and out. If I need something I can't get from my local Tesco then I add it to my weekly to do list and structure that day to take into account the stress of going to a different shop. But if I can order it online and get it delivered, that's the better option. I spend a lot of time organising and tweaking my routine but I actually enjoy the process of being that pedantic! It also saves me stress down the line. I've decided not to even bother trying to be normal anymore. I'm eccentric and quirky and that's just fine
Excellent timing I have just resolved this issue.
I don’t go! I get a weekly food delivery same time every Sunday morning.
it’s heavenly.
I go through the cupboards calmly and peacefully, I have put cleaning products on monthly and stockpile a little as I hate not having cleaning stuff.
Have my milk delivered and stops me buying unnecessary crap.
it makes my life pure zen I always used to forget something hate writing lists or get lost looking at products I don’t actually need.
You can use the filter to select cheapest product and all you need to do is set an alarm to remind you to add anything. It’s a bit of a faff but so much nicer than the sensory overload of full shops and shelves!!!!
yes so do I
With my experiences, I like using large supermarkets, plastic and self service tills.
I can do without the personal, friendly shopping experience in small independent shops.