im 17 and scared of diagnosis

I'm scared of diagnosis for 2 main reasons:
1) My mum (the person in charge of the household who gives me little independence etc) has often said that austism assessments are forced. She's forced me to stop many mannerisms (tapping etc) and i doubt she'd let me be diagnosed. She would tell me i'm fine even though she often asks if there's something wrong with me.

2) i feel like because i have the ability to talk to new people when forced to and the fact that although i do better on routine but am fine without, an assessment would come back negative regardless of other things i feel might be different about me. 

Parents Reply
  • A) because of the fear of mum finding out I'm getting it and the chance they say I made it up ,attention seeking or whatever

    B) I want one because understanding that people are different and why might help me cope with scenarios better

    C and d) no I've never talked to anyone about this except 2 friends ,one with autism 

    E) I found this website looking after finding out my cousin (not blood repeated) had autism who my mum said had a forced verdict. I wanted to understand how to be more understanding of him and realised some of the stuff on here was relevant

    D) sorry got d wrong , my ex said I showed autistic traits before leaving me. 

Children