im 17 and scared of diagnosis

do you believe u are autistic ? name some traits (briefly)

I really should make a list because things occur to me then I forget . The basics are ,body language is a no ,anything non explicit is a no ,eye contact when I'm stressed even the slightest is a no and yet I'm clever ? People find that I'm wierd and I don't understand boundaries which makes me both funny and insensitive.  Also as my mum has mentioned many times , multitasking is a no. I also relate to many small things I've read 

I really should make a list because things occur to me then I forget . The basics are ,body language is a no ,anything non explicit is a no ,eye contact when I'm stressed even the slightest is a no and yet I'm clever ? People find that I'm wierd and I don't understand boundaries which makes me both funny and insensitive.  Also as my mum has mentioned many times , multitasking is a no. I also relate to many small things I've read 

I have made myself a list ,will probably grow but summed up in one place things make more sense. (It's quite big but some points are similar so could do with refinement or whoever I email will get bored reading )

here is the plan i give people and my extra notes as well  i have to go now we can talk again anytime tomorrow if you want.

Make a list of reasons why u think u are autistic.

include blood relatives in your family who are autistic or adhd or called weird/different

and a list of occasions when u have been called weird, autistic, different

the list should be electronic ie so you can email it to anyone who wants it.

Oh that's what that is . 

By the way ,thank you for being so helpful ,you've boosted my confidence more than you can imagine 

that sounds like a shutdown 

I don't do that ,but when I struggle with things emotionally I kinda just stop feeling if that makes sense? It's kinda hard to describe but I don't become overwhelmed I become nothing . Just logical and empty. An observer might not even tell. 

ok not a direct relative but explains how u know quite a bit

do u have meltdowns or shutdowns ? 

Family not blood related 

English is my first language but I'm on phone view and it's become really squished and small.

is english your first language  ?

do u have meltdowns or shutdowns ?

u are finding out slowly but surely u are autistic 

the fact that someone else in your family has autism is so important it means autism is in your family and this would back up  any attempt by u to go get a diagnosis.( add this highly important piece ofinfo to your list )

the fact your ex said you had autistic traits is also is a very important piece of information to add to your list ( of why you think you are autistic )

A) because of the fear of mum finding out I'm getting it and the chance they say I made it up ,attention seeking or whatever

B) I want one because understanding that people are different and why might help me cope with scenarios better

C and d) no I've never talked to anyone about this except 2 friends ,one with autism 

E) I found this website looking after finding out my cousin (not blood repeated) had autism who my mum said had a forced verdict. I wanted to understand how to be more understanding of him and realised some of the stuff on here was relevant

D) sorry got d wrong , my ex said I showed autistic traits before leaving me. 

heres the number and link below just in case u change your mind.

but we can continue to chat in meantime

a. why are u scared of a diagnosis ? 

b. do u want one but are scared of going and getting one ? is this what u mean

c. has any medical type person talked to you at all ?

d. has anyone suggested you go for a diagnosis ?

e. u found this forum where u searching or did someone tell u about this forum ?

dont be scared of my questions   i am a bit questioning at times but the answers will help you

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https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/helpline

You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Friday 10am to 3pm.Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser.

Oh I hate calling somebody I don't know well. I can make calls and go out by myself (as long as they know where I'm going etc) . 

are u free to make ur own phone calls ( I wont be calling u ) Its just there is also a helpline you can use to talk to NAS staff 

do u want their number

u can talk to them in short calls  and ask them anything. eg the location of your local NAS office where u can drop in for chats ( after covid )

It just seems really scary -yes I'm in England.   

And thank you 

but when u are 18 u can go to a GP yourself .

are u in england ?

The reassurance is great that worry 2 is irrational , but if my mum is contacted she won't let me I'm sure

does your mum have a plan for u ? like when u are 18 and an adult ? 

yes u are sounding autistic -- its ok any good assessor will see them very quickly