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Pain release

hohner

I sit here typing with extreme stomach/bowel pain,, my mother sits across from me, drinking bacardi and watching Jeremy Kyle. My step-father abuser and the intimidator is around at the shops getting another bottle of Whiskey. 

All my life my parents have been just sitting across from me in the own worlds, but I suffer in silence, holding in the pain, not knowing how to communicate with them that I am in pain, because half my pain is them. So if I talk to them, I get more pain.  The fear and non-presence which they give me has made me phobia of other people as I think they are weirdo's like my alcoholic agruing parents. In there eyes,, they are the salt of the earth, with a great relationship with everyone in the family.

Great eh...,  happy families

So all this means with autism I AM in pain and can not tell anyone about it. If I was dying of a heart attack, I could not get help or tell anyone. The thought of even telling someone about my physical pain would stress me to hell, with strangers coming near me or touching me physically.

Any advice who to turn too, when you can not turn to anyone ? Pain trapped

 

  • The reality no knows understands my reality, they do not know the impact people and especially my so called family has on me. The so called professionals are so used to there normal spectrum outlook and don't have autism, so the GP just asks me,, do you want pills,, pills,, pills,, thank goodness my autism does not like me to take pills, as I would be drugged up and slow moving target in the world which I hate and fear, most. Lip service and a containment policy, because the world does not give a sh** about pain and suffering. Come spend a day in my reality and see the world full of poison taking poison snakes. If I am being honest,, the NAS, and all other therapists, charities,, is just a middle class management containment bullsh** as long as they are not in the ghetto or suffering, they can talk, with a pretend remote non-presense SYMPATHIC voice,, PHONE NHS 24, Breathing space, Sarmartains, etc.... just a pretend plaster on a ***** up world for a ***** up world.

  • hi hohner - I'm sorry it's so bad for you.  Paul's post is correct.  Also whilst you may do nothing, others will still do what they want to do.    I know from your posts that this is such a difficult situation for you and you feel unable to alter it.  I think you understand very well how unhappy the situation makes you.  You have a dilemma.  You need to seek support and advice to help you change things, even if it's just little bit by little bit.  Maybe doing it little by little may possibly be a way forward?  

  • If you are trapped in a maze and don't even try to find your way out then you will be stuck in the maze forever. Not trying to change things means those things you want to change will never change, no matter how hard it may seem to face some things, not facing them means never learning how to face them - in short if you do nothing you get nothing in return.