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Pain release

hohner

I sit here typing with extreme stomach/bowel pain,, my mother sits across from me, drinking bacardi and watching Jeremy Kyle. My step-father abuser and the intimidator is around at the shops getting another bottle of Whiskey. 

All my life my parents have been just sitting across from me in the own worlds, but I suffer in silence, holding in the pain, not knowing how to communicate with them that I am in pain, because half my pain is them. So if I talk to them, I get more pain.  The fear and non-presence which they give me has made me phobia of other people as I think they are weirdo's like my alcoholic agruing parents. In there eyes,, they are the salt of the earth, with a great relationship with everyone in the family.

Great eh...,  happy families

So all this means with autism I AM in pain and can not tell anyone about it. If I was dying of a heart attack, I could not get help or tell anyone. The thought of even telling someone about my physical pain would stress me to hell, with strangers coming near me or touching me physically.

Any advice who to turn too, when you can not turn to anyone ? Pain trapped

 

Parents

  • The reality no knows understands my reality, they do not know the impact people and especially my so called family has on me. The so called professionals are so used to there normal spectrum outlook and don't have autism, so the GP just asks me,, do you want pills,, pills,, pills,, thank goodness my autism does not like me to take pills, as I would be drugged up and slow moving target in the world which I hate and fear, most. Lip service and a containment policy, because the world does not give a sh** about pain and suffering. Come spend a day in my reality and see the world full of poison taking poison snakes. If I am being honest,, the NAS, and all other therapists, charities,, is just a middle class management containment bullsh** as long as they are not in the ghetto or suffering, they can talk, with a pretend remote non-presense SYMPATHIC voice,, PHONE NHS 24, Breathing space, Sarmartains, etc.... just a pretend plaster on a ***** up world for a ***** up world.

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  • The reality no knows understands my reality, they do not know the impact people and especially my so called family has on me. The so called professionals are so used to there normal spectrum outlook and don't have autism, so the GP just asks me,, do you want pills,, pills,, pills,, thank goodness my autism does not like me to take pills, as I would be drugged up and slow moving target in the world which I hate and fear, most. Lip service and a containment policy, because the world does not give a sh** about pain and suffering. Come spend a day in my reality and see the world full of poison taking poison snakes. If I am being honest,, the NAS, and all other therapists, charities,, is just a middle class management containment bullsh** as long as they are not in the ghetto or suffering, they can talk, with a pretend remote non-presense SYMPATHIC voice,, PHONE NHS 24, Breathing space, Sarmartains, etc.... just a pretend plaster on a ***** up world for a ***** up world.

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