Hi! I’m going to university in September to do a BSc in geography and was wondering if anyone had any advice on university in general but also concerning making friends.
Hi! I’m going to university in September to do a BSc in geography and was wondering if anyone had any advice on university in general but also concerning making friends.
I did my degree in the mid-90s and my MA in the late 90s. In those times, there was practically no help for Aspies or folks with social anxiety. I knew I had SA then, but certainly not the Aspergers! My understanding is that there is these days rather more help for students with social or learning difficulties. The first two years were hell for me, especially the first year. I was severely socially phobic, plus had major BDD. I was a recluse for the first year and almost suicidally depressed much of the time. The second year was a little better when I moved off campus into a house with a couple of students I had got to know a bit. For the entire 3 years, though, I socialised very little. The wild parties and sex etc. most of my peers seemed to be enjoying were off limits to me. It didn't help that I was never taken seriously because I looked about 12 at the time :) I missed out on so much, and I think I never once went to the Students Union unless it was with a friend and for a specific reason. In short, my degree was a rather miserable time, I just shut myself in and worked. For my Masters I commuted into London from a city about an hour's train ride away. I wasn't at the uni all that much and hardly got to know many people. I never went to the Students Union. Because I was hardly there and also was still very socially phobic, I gained a rep for being stuck up and aloof, which damaged me considerably. Again, I just studied, got my degree, and got out of there. I never participated in all the things the uni, and indeed London, had to offer.
But I missed out on SOOOO much! As another posted has already said, you can potentially learn to be social at uni. Don't make the mistakes I did – socialise. It might be difficult, but I recommend you do it, as you're pretty likely gonna regret it later if you don't. And you may miss out on a whole world of fun, support of friends, networking, cultural experiences, and so on.
This should be one of the best times of your life - do your best to enjoy it! Work hard, but make sure you have fun, too. I wish I had.
I got through 5 years of uni and diagnosed later. In the first 2 years I didn't talk to many people and lived a recluse. In the 3rd year I started to get to know more of the class and went for a few nights out. I do regret not doing more socially but I just didn't have the aptitude to get involved with things. I still keep in contact with one person from university but as I moved away from the city I don't really speak to many others I knew whilst I was there.
Overall you are only there for a short time (for some people the degree is 3 years and classes are only 24 weeks of the year), so it's not super important to make friends but if you can then it should be easier for you both academically (people help you) and for your mental health
I have a master in agricultural engineering. The biggest change for me was the level of freedom. Also every professor seems to think his subject is the most important and gives you lots of material to study. If you can get hold of example questions of previous year's exams, that's a great help. Student clubs usually have this information, it gives you a guidance on how to prepare, what to expect.
Friends are usually people that have lots in common with you. You'll see, there's going to be plenty of people like you. It's also typical that you get a bit of a concentration of the more serious students there. It's in everybody's interest to have a bit of a small circle of people you can ask question to, follow around so you don't have to look yourself where the next lesson takes place, go for lunch with. Try also to be a good partner of these people, share your notes, if you understand it and they ask you, explain it to them,
Try to go to all of the lectures, make sure you're well rested, go for a beer like once a week, but not every night.
Start studying from day one, make it a habit.
