Our 19 year old son has quite a few of the symptoms for Aspergers, we have talked to him about it in the past but he doesn't seem able to go to the doctors and find out more for himself. As he is an adult, he says he has the choice to go or not.
Is there anything we can do?
John & Kelly
It is his choice.
Rather than simply looking at any issues he faces and then working out solutions based on his personality why do you think he needs an official assessment to say he is autistic?
He says he is stressed and has depression but won't do anything about it. He has been unable to get a job, probably doesn't have the courage to go for interview. He doesn't tell us the truth about most things.
He needs counselling and may be more in our opinion.
The diagnostic process can be a harrowing experience. Rather than simply stating that autistic behaviour is different to the majority of society, assessors use language such as disorder, deficit and abnormal when referring to the way we are. Many people find that they are more stressed and depressed after going through this process, as such, I think you need to think about whether a diagnosis would help your son's stress and depression levels. I am autistic and wouldn't put my child through this unless she asked.
Some autistics do find counselling useful but for those that find verbal communication challenging it may not be the best method of support. I have never found counselling helpful - instead, exercise is the best method for managing my MH.
It sounds like you need to do a lot more research into the experiences of autism to find out what might and might not be helpful for your son.
What does he think he needs? If he says he's stressed and depressed, does he feel able to openly discuss the reasons, what he thinks might help and what, of this, he currently feels able to take on? Do you have any feel for the reasons why he might not tell the truth?
To me the situation as outlined suggests a need for further reflection and drilling down. Especially if the person is autistic and the apparent roadblocks all seems to revolve around being "unable" as much as unwilling. Again, reading around the subject might be helpful, maybe focussing on anxiety, burnout and shutting down.