Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
Sorry I'm properly going to come across really horrible. But just wondering if this is just me or others feel the same.
I'm no good wih other people's emotions especially when it's upset or angry, it makes me so uncomfterbal, i dont no what to say and of im honest I just want them to stop or for me to be able to get away. I can cope if its someone close to me, but not strangers or people i only know a bit.
I felt I was making it wuite clear I didn't want to engage in a conversation with someone about why they were sad, but they clearly wasnt picking up on this and wanted to tell me everything. (I barely known this person and shes been telling other people all night)
I've become quite annoyed and just in a mood because I was put in suxh an awkward conversation I just didn't need to be apart of abour a sad story of someone I don't really no.
I'm in a loud music venue having to deal with all that plus usual social interaction with my partner and his friends thag is hard enough, let alone this.
Am.i just veing an unreasonable ***?
I tend to always get annoyed by people giving me their emotional life stories if they aren't my family or friend and even then i struggle to say the right things and act attentive.
I find it very difficult to understand people's problems - my delay in processing what's going on and my blank expression means I appear to be a good listener - but 90% of my processing is thinking about how silly and small their problem is and how easy it would be to fix it if they actually tried rather than bleating about it.
I'm then stuck in a quandary - I know they're upset - I'm bored with it all, I can't think of a good way to tell them what they need to do because NTs need to wallow in it all and vent - so I do nothing - which makes me look like a good listener.
Trapped!
I lack empathy and tend to not care about other people’s situations, which applies to everyone. Also my sister who is undiagnosed (has been told by a specialist she may be autistic) and is basically the female version of me very annoying as she constantly moans and groans about her issues yet doesn’t do anything to self help, as a result I avoid her at all costs. To busy struggling to cope with my own stuff so really don’t other people banging on about there’s. Plus I really don’t care lol.
I have learnt to pretend to care sometimes, I’ll ask what’s wrong and then will switch off, but add the occasional response to make it seem like I’m listening.
Pre diagnosis I thought I was a horrible person but now I just know I’m different and not capable of empathy and I’m ok with it. No harm in carrying on pretending for other people’s benefits at times though, ie deaths etc.