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Autism And Internet 'Friends' are just as Good/Bad In Real Life (Delete where applicable).

Disambiguating Cynosure
over 4 years ago

Firstly -- Please do not post Quotes Here outside of this Thread.

My Main Question is: What to do when, after having made Two or more "Friends" anywhere (Internet or Real Life), then One Friend insists upon NOT talking to the Other Friend?

I make Friends, and they All reciprocate My Respect at them. But Then one day, one or more of them has an argument. Then they state what is virtually a Command: Do not talk to that other Person! And so after that, talking to one offends the other one very very deeply, --- they say. They no longer want anything to do with each other.
But I respect ALL of them, yet am treated as if either upon one side or another, and if I speak to one about the other one, then it offends them or it offends the other one --- they say.
...The reasons are seen as irrelevant. But I am not happy, because My Friends are not as happy. They once were happy, but now they say that no-one is allowed to make them happy *together* anymore... Yet I Myself still want to make My "Friends" happy... but they forbid it!

...Keeping the Title of this Thread in mind, might anyone else have another solution? The Title is a reason why I do not seek out "Friendships" anymore. All I can think of is either throwing huge amounts of CASH at everyone, which I cannot afford to do... or just leaving ALL of those Friends completely. I am very Loyal, & I do not care for casual-association, or duplicity, or upsetting people... which is why I try to do as they say... but I cannot operate under such contradiction. They can, but I cannot, it seems.

Maybe someone else here can offer a point-of-view which I do not have, but I expect this to be confusing to many, and that this should be a very short Thread. (!)

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're being put in this horrible situation by your 'friends'. I'm guessing these are female friends? This is one reason why I tend to have individual friends rather than groups of friends as I find female group friendship dynamics to be such an absolute pain! If they have had a falling out then that is their problem, they shouldn't be dragging you into it. It's really unfair of them to drag you into it. Personally, I would get really annoyed if I had a friend putting pressure on me to stop talking to another friend. I think in this situation you need to set some clear boundaries with your 'friends' that it is their problem and you wish to stay out of it and not have to hear about it, they can sort it out between themselves, perhaps explain the effect that their behaviour is having on you. If they are not willing to respect this request then personally, I'd be inclined to refuse to talk to either of them until they stop trying to involve you in their dispute. Sorry if I sound as though I'm being quite harsh towards them but it is simply not fair to involve you in their dispute as it is clearly affecting you.

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're being put in this horrible situation by your 'friends'. I'm guessing these are female friends? This is one reason why I tend to have individual friends rather than groups of friends as I find female group friendship dynamics to be such an absolute pain! If they have had a falling out then that is their problem, they shouldn't be dragging you into it. It's really unfair of them to drag you into it. Personally, I would get really annoyed if I had a friend putting pressure on me to stop talking to another friend. I think in this situation you need to set some clear boundaries with your 'friends' that it is their problem and you wish to stay out of it and not have to hear about it, they can sort it out between themselves, perhaps explain the effect that their behaviour is having on you. If they are not willing to respect this request then personally, I'd be inclined to refuse to talk to either of them until they stop trying to involve you in their dispute. Sorry if I sound as though I'm being quite harsh towards them but it is simply not fair to involve you in their dispute as it is clearly affecting you.

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