Published on 12, July, 2020
Firstly -- Please do not post Quotes Here outside of this Thread.
My Main Question is: What to do when, after having made Two or more "Friends" anywhere (Internet or Real Life), then One Friend insists upon NOT talking to the Other Friend?
I make Friends, and they All reciprocate My Respect at them. But Then one day, one or more of them has an argument. Then they state what is virtually a Command: Do not talk to that other Person! And so after that, talking to one offends the other one very very deeply, --- they say. They no longer want anything to do with each other. But I respect ALL of them, yet am treated as if either upon one side or another, and if I speak to one about the other one, then it offends them or it offends the other one --- they say....The reasons are seen as irrelevant. But I am not happy, because My Friends are not as happy. They once were happy, but now they say that no-one is allowed to make them happy *together* anymore... Yet I Myself still want to make My "Friends" happy... but they forbid it!
...Keeping the Title of this Thread in mind, might anyone else have another solution? The Title is a reason why I do not seek out "Friendships" anymore. All I can think of is either throwing huge amounts of CASH at everyone, which I cannot afford to do... or just leaving ALL of those Friends completely. I am very Loyal, & I do not care for casual-association, or duplicity, or upsetting people... which is why I try to do as they say... but I cannot operate under such contradiction. They can, but I cannot, it seems.
Maybe someone else here can offer a point-of-view which I do not have, but I expect this to be confusing to many, and that this should be a very short Thread. (!)
Hi my FRIEND !
just wanted you to know you do have friends and I am actually real, well last time I checked I was.
Not wishing to say too much but my presence here or lack of is just life being very busy for me of late.
I do still pop on to catch up on the latest happenings and it cheers me usually to see you have also managed to get on here.
Anyway sorry it is quite apart from the more serious side of autism( which of coarse it is !) but maybe everyone is also very busy trying to wade through the treacle of life we have to navigate.
Please take care and please please keep posting.
I upvote even if I cannot respond.
X()x
Glad Tidings, especially to those who replied (or Voted Up!)... I am not exactly reviving this Thread, but in Replying to it that cannot be helped. Thank You for Your Responses... They sort of confirm what I was thinking. There seems to be little direction but to break off such "Friendships"; and here at least I am glad to see that I am not alone in feeling this way.
In real life, I have 'no friends', but I am reminded of the troubles "friendships" can cause, especially in Illogical Reconciliation (or something!). I would indeed rather be lonely and safe/happier/relaxed, than have stressful Friendships. I learnt this from being at School, but I thought that the Internet would be different... what a mistake to make...!
As I said, I am Posting mostly to Thank those who paid an attention. Do not worry and I am still learning now. (I began new Threads and am Posting here and there and stuff, too.) The Story goes on... and on... Thanks Again.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're being put in this horrible situation by your 'friends'. I'm guessing these are female friends? This is one reason why I tend to have individual friends rather than groups of friends as I find female group friendship dynamics to be such an absolute pain! If they have had a falling out then that is their problem, they shouldn't be dragging you into it. It's really unfair of them to drag you into it. Personally, I would get really annoyed if I had a friend putting pressure on me to stop talking to another friend. I think in this situation you need to set some clear boundaries with your 'friends' that it is their problem and you wish to stay out of it and not have to hear about it, they can sort it out between themselves, perhaps explain the effect that their behaviour is having on you. If they are not willing to respect this request then personally, I'd be inclined to refuse to talk to either of them until they stop trying to involve you in their dispute. Sorry if I sound as though I'm being quite harsh towards them but it is simply not fair to involve you in their dispute as it is clearly affecting you.
People who tell you who you can talk to and who you can't are not your friends.
My personal opinion is that who you talk to is your choice.
It is unreasonable for a friend to expect you to stop talking to someone simply because they no longer will, I could understand them asking you not to discuss that person with them any more but nobody has the right to ban you from talking to someone