What if everyone in the world had Aspergers?

My daughter has told me, (12rys old) as i learn about her world, that mum and dad have a free pass, which i understood to mean that , the trust level is so high, that if we are sitting next to her, she does not have to focus her mind(bring it back to local vicinity ?) And that the expected cuddles are enjoyed, not feared, only because of this trust she feels with us, Which i fully understand,  Because she went on to say, that anyone else within 15 meters of her that is not trusted to this level, She has to bring her mind back to focus on them as they get closer, This focus and effort is what makes her so tired so quickly, To be comparable, It sounds like what it would feel like if i had to constantly focus and talk to someone 20 meters away, if i had to do that all the time i would be tired as well , very quickly, Now we NT's also have a dead(not focused on) space about a arms length from our bodies our very sensitive personal space, So for example if someone was 50cm from my body in my face, I would be on full alert, i would not be able to  focus on anything else, except the desire to push them away, which i would do , unless i really controlled myself, Now if i had to control myself to allow someone i did not want in that arms length space around my body, again i could  do it, but it would drive me insane, and i would develop serious metal breakdowns, Its torture

All NT's would seriously need to know the person before they let them in their personal dead zones around their bodies

So is it just a question of that dead space(not focused on). For AT;s being different 

This sense of personal space, how does it work ? as a physical distance 

I think this is an interesting question. And it's really nice to have an NT here that is interested in learning more about AT people! I personally do not know much about this topic and have never been in a romantic relationship before. I agree with Binary that there many autistic people who do reproduce and have families. But I think there is a slightly higher percentage of autistic people who do not, compared to the general population. Some of the difficulties have already been mentioned, e.g., eye contact, social communication, small talk, which are important in getting to know a partner. There might also be sensory difficulties, as some people do not like being touched, or cannot stand the crying sound of a baby. I think it is possible that in a world of autistic people, the population would grow smaller, as there is a good percentage who do not engage in reproduction. Maybe technology could help with some of the struggles that might hinder autistic reproduction, e.g., reproduce in a test tube and have robots take care of the feeding and changing of infants.

I don't think there is a correct or wrong answer to this question, it's just a fun thought experiment, and many people's ideas so far have been very interesting, as when you look at it in some angles things will be easier, and when you look at it from other angles things would be harder. It's also a question that lots of autistic people have thought about, so it's just fun to discuss.

Thank you, i will heed that advice, 

And my advice to you is that you will find, that darker it gets and the eye game is disabled, you will find truthfulness

If you respond to the bum size question then whatever you say will be wrong. just don't go there

See the eye thing I probably wouldn't notice and if I did notice I'd probably just be freaked out tbh. But like I said we are all different and some autistic people can do eye contact. Once I've got to know someone I can make eye contact. Not sure I'd particularly understand what their eyes were telling me till I knew them really well though. When I know someone really well I can start to understand their non verbal communication. It's basically that I learn it for each individual rather than it being intuitive.

I would have to get to know the person first. Or someone would just have to bluntly tell me that that person liked me. Friends can be quite useful for this. They are almost like translators. I haven't had much experience with relationships but I do have a very small amount. It was friends that helped me out. Told me what the person was trying to communicate with their random hints. Helped me to write texts etc. But tbh I've never enjoyed the physical side of a relationship much. Not really for me. I quite enjoyed texting people. It's nice to have some attention and someone you feel you connect with but in real life it's much harder.

Don't write your daughter off yet for relationships. She may find a nice autistic partner. She may find a nice nt partner. She may be happy by herself and not in a relationship. All are ok. If she questions whether she will be in a relationship, just tell her everyone does this at their own pace. That if she wants to find someone then she likely will when she is ready.

Truthfulness is definitely the way to go for autistic people I think. Well it would be for me. 

sorry if i'm pushy, and feel free to tell me to bugger off whenever you like, 

So NT;s are only ever making eye talk, WE are using our eyes in every moment scouting the vicinity for that girl that makes eye contact back, (anything else we are saying does not matter) The brain is focused on the eye game, 

For NT;s when we look into another persons eyes, we like, at a certain point of constant contact The NT brain releases a chemical, that makes us hormonal and happy , the longer we look, the more aroused we become, 

we make love more chemicals are released for 2.5 years after that the brain stops releasing them and we fall out of love, Unless you make a baby, If ! you make a baby another chemical is released for 7 years(long enough to ensure offspring survival)#

so its drug we are playing with, every day and every moment, with out eyes and the body language follows, the words are of no matter, 

This explains why AT;s struggle with NT;s because The NT brain is all about immediate and constant procreation 

So without the eye game , how are you going to achieve procreation ?

Its your world, all AT's , Send letters ? , drop a card ? read poetry ?

I really have no idea at this point what to tell my daughter ? I know she cant play the eye game, and I have no idea what to tell her 

The Don't worry darling, one day a nice AT boy will (do what )?

Wait though, I am missing something very important, in fact the most important part, 

This is because it kinda fits, both NT;s and AT;s

When we NT;s are at our most honest and vulnerable, when we tell the truth and share the greatest emotional and mental intimacy  The best part of a relationship

IS when we can no longer play the eye game , You see AT;s;should never ever forget we are disabled in the dark, 

Our brains are not wired for the night, they are wired for the day

So when its dark and we cant see the eyes or the body, we are left blind, so we become more real and truthful at this point, When we are helpless

So at this point im' kinda thinking that Do AT's need to just reverse the whole process ?

create the darkness first , ? 

Wow that is quite the question. I'm not the best person to answer this I don't think as relationships are not something I'm confident with. I shall give you my thoughts on the subject. There are others here that are married and do have kids and they may be able to add more than I can.

Firstly, I don't think there is a particular rule for autistic people and relationships. We are all different and therefore experience these things in different ways and have different preferences.

For me the things that make relationships difficult is that I find it very hard to get to know new people, I dislike making eye contact with them and I hate small talk. This can be a barrier to get to know someone well enough that it would get to relationship stage. Another issue is that I need a lot of me time and once I've been to work I don't have the energy to deal with another person. I also like space so to get to the stage of living with other people would be extremely hard. The final problem I have with relationships is that I dislike being touched. This can make me seem very cold and uninterested in a partner.

All the above is only speaking for me though. Some people with autism are very sociable and enjoy the company of others a lot more than me. Many will happily talk at length. I'm sure someone in a relationship could explain better how it works.

For me to get to know someone well enough to be in a relationship they would need to like one of my special interests. This would allow me to talk to them better and therefore get to know them. The better I know them the easier it would become as I would get a lot more comfortable.

Another issue for autistic people is that we don't always pick up on social cues. I might not realise that someone liked me in that way. The solution to this for me is I would need the other person just to be honest and tell me. The biggest things I'd need in a partner is patience and understanding.

I can't speak for all autistic people but I personally would HATE the idea of an arranged marriage. A stranger that I didn't know would be far too difficult and awkward.

Sorry for the long reply. That wasn't an easy thing to answer.

As a NT finding out about the AT struggles, The subject of sex/companionship and how to go about making it happen, seems to be a common thread.

So I'm intrigued All of the communication that seems to throw AT people , is that its all sexual from NT's everything is a sexual expression, 

So may i ask the  question, how does a AT think the best way for a AT person to initiate the act of sex ?

For example some cultures still pre arrange marriage would this preferable to AT's  amongst anything else you can imagine 

But there are plenty of autistic people that want to and do reproduce. It's not like autistic people are not that way inclined. Some may not be but a lot are. 

It may also be easier in some ways as a large reason that some autistic people don't reproduce is they find relationships difficult. Would relationships be easier if everyone were autistic? Or would this cause even more dysfunctional relationships?

My question to that question is reproduction. NT minds only think about sex. Everything we do and say and act is part of the sexual ritual. From presenting interest to presenting non interest. Or presenting a formality where sex is taboo. But it's still three just not allowed to be presented. So NT are all about sex  That's it. But we breed and survive.  

How would you envisage that you ensure the survival of the species through reproduction? 

Hoe would the rules for that work in a AT only world? 

Thank you. That's very kind of you. I enjoy discussions such as these.

I agree with you a lot. I can relate a lot to the part of finding it difficult when dealing with people who think something different to me when I'm sure I'm right. I also agree with what you are saying about individual differences. I really like how thoughtful and thorough you analyse things! I've enjoyed chatting with you a lot on this forum so far.

I find it difficult when people think something different to me when I'm sure I'm right. If other people were just as adamant they were right and we thought different things then I could imagine there would be a clash.

This now has me wondering whether I would like myself if I met me. I think I might actually annoy myself.

I think again there is such a big difference between people it's impossible to say. If you take work for example there would be some people with autism that would be very productive especially if offices etc were now autism friendly. But you also have people with autism who really struggle to be productive without direct instructions and without become very chaotic.

Good point. Though there may be politics involved in putting man on the moon. Like a government will have to decide how much tax everyone pays, and what percentage of the tax will go into science and technology, and within science and technology how much will go into space travel and how much will go to bio-chemistry, etc. Then a bunch of high-functioning aspies get to use the government fund to put people on the moon.

A bunch of high-functioning aspies can do anything - like put a man on the moon.  NTs just complicate things with politics.

If everyone had Aspergers, then Aspergers itself wouldn't be a thing because it'd just be normal! 

Glad you like the thought experiment!

I like the example you gave about your home life. It does make a lot of sense, and I think I would like to be in social relationships where people can be honest.

Yeah, it's a good question. I wonder what kinds of difficulties there will be without NT people? I suppose certain things that require complex teamwork, like city planning, might be very difficult without them?

Haha. There are lots of Aspies that are talented in technology, so it may be possible!

That will be fun! I wonder if there is such a thing? There is a village in the Netherlands that's designed for old people with dementia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogewey Maybe someone could build an autistic village.