Am I a snob?

First a confession, I am a shopaholic.  I have to visit shops every day.

Yesterday, I visited three budget shops.

  1. Aldi, I found the people there to be crude, vulgar, common people with no manners.
  2. Fulton's, the shoppers and their clothes smell, don't these people bathe ? Or do laundry?
  3. Poundstrecher, the faint smell of old vomit made me feel sick.

I prefer Waitrose and M & S.

  • I love that ~ I think I might start using that phrase ~ I do beg your pardon Ok hand tone4

    And yeah, I can see what you mean about being common and uncommon. I guess I'm an uncommon (autistic) commoner (like to keep it real, with the people!) who can mix with anyone from the poverty stricken to royalty :) 

  • oh and nite nite sleep well and hope you all have wonderful happy dreams.

  • Replying to you DC for no particular reason other than ,,,,well ,,,, I was reading your words and for no apparent reason , and not especially related to what you said I suddenly wanted to share a tiny part of a very big issue I have had all my life.

     The use of words!

    As a young boy the other children often used to ask me what I was talking about?  As a teenager I was asked why I always used such posh words? As an eighteen year old experiencing my first time working a very large building project , with predominantly Irish workers I was ridiculed for being so posh, how the words I used were made up or me trying to seem well educated.

    Now with that firmly in your mind think about the real me and my upbringing.

    I was born in a council estate, couldn’t read or write until quite late about seven I think?

    I struggled to learn most of the things other kids found simple, I played out more than I was ever indoors, I was scruffy, hated washing, loved the rough and tumble of tree climbing, digging holes to make camps, hide outs, a street urchin, never read a book, in fact even now I have read so few you wouldn’t believe me if I could remember how many( one or two).

    I never once tried to talk like anyone,

     in particular, I have no idea where the so called posh words came from, they seemed the right words to use given the circumstances,, if a word best suits then use it.

    So there I was a typical kid, surrounded by other typical kids, no one thing to give rise to me hearing posh words, my parents spoke normal as far as I know, my dad did speak quite well but often just another dad chatting away with the other dads.

     The only time I consciously decided to talk differently was when the constant put downs and ridicule I had from the site workers got to much to bear. It really was non stop picking in me, everything I said was highlighted and comments like “ oh I say old boy! What a spiffing thing to say”.

     That kind of thing, 

    I decided to deliberately use shorter words, less if them, try to pick up how they spoke, hurray it worked, only trouble was I actually started talking with an Irish lilt. Not in a patronising way, just more Irish in accent..

    I have no idea why I used so called long posh words?

     Why I sounded posh.?

    Why indeed it was considered a bad thing?

    Even now I moderate my use of words as descriptors. Still I get “ that word doesn’t exist! You made it up!”

    Or “ so what’s the new big word today then?”

    Only trouble is trying not to use expletives when not at work, not proud of swearing but in order to be accepted it helps to integrate and not stand out.

     Phew, I also use far too many words to get across a simple fact. 

    Take care friends, x()x

  • I’m a commoner anyway and I like being one :) and I prefer to go in shops like Waitrose, but I’m still a commoner

    I understand and respect this... that was - probably - what was disputed, here. But you make distinction between common and vulgar... another thing which was disputed (from the Opening Post). I think most of us are common, but then the argument metamorphs into wanting to or being able to change; and/or being Autistic which is not common and yet is not necessarily a snob and could be seen as either common or uncommon if one buys Cod instead of Roe or Beef instead of Venison or Chicken instead of Pheasant or

    [ censored and cut off by Moderator responsible for Too Much Waffling. ]

    ;-)

  • (I have lead a pretty sheltered life, what with my running away from strangers so much, yes indeed...)

    Here is a (very) little story, in keeping in with the main theme.

    Once I was looking for socks in the Green Park Branch of M&S. I walked, and accidentally side-bumped a rather loudly-dressed, shabby-looking Black Man, as we both walked opposite ways. But what he said to me was something I should never forget, which I had never ever had said to myself by a stranger, regardless of the Store or the colours of our respective Skins...

    ...In a VERY high-class English accent, he said to me: "I DO beg your Pardon!"

        :-) 

  • That’s so true about vulgar people thinking everyone else is vulgar or wants to be. I love watching vulgar people, they really don’t care what other people think but what you said makes sense, it’s because they think everyone else is like them! That’s an autistic trait, isn’t it? I suppose it matters what we think is vulgar as well, thinking about it! Lol! 

    I’m a commoner anyway and I like being one :) and I prefer to go in shops like Waitrose, but I’m still a commoner 

  • Lol,,,, thank you for stepping in and sorting us Man-Things out,,, would love to attempt a witty comment towards you but feel it may offend?

     Yikes no way,,, so thank you for just being consistently YOU :)

  • The upsetting issue is my paranoia.  Because in the real physical world I often upset people without intending to or realising it.

    Thank You both very much for this! With regards to the quote...me too! With regards to the subject... Autism, totally.

    (...With regards to paranoia... see how much bigger mine is than anyone else's? Nerrr- I mentioned PMs n'everrythin' Nerr Nerr... wait, it might happen...Yikes..?)

    ...Sorry, Thanks again. Not sure how to continue, now... Wait, here is one! Vulgar people assume that everyone else is vulgar or wants to be, and so do not change themselves. This is as I/WE (tried to say) is the difference.

    ...I was avoiding the terms "better" or "improve" themselves, for that is relative. A "commoner" sees improvement as becoming more vulgar. But a "commoner" who seeks to improve themself may be seen as weird or a snob. 

    ...Or something. But at risk of further misinterpretation, that is what I meant. Again. I better quit, now...   :-/ Thanks again, to you Man-Things (!).

  • We’re all good at that! 

  • We are all ok,,, I often “ think” I have offended people,  I over compensate, say a great deal which can add to any misunderstanding

    I wanted you Robert to know you aren’t the only one feeling this way, I also hoped DC wasn’t offended or upset by your words, not my place to assume what DC may think, so I apologised as soon as I saw the reply.

     I have known you both a very long time, I regard you both as nice people I enjoy talking about things with, I love your pictures Robert, I love the wit of DC. You both bring happiness into my life in lots of ways, 

    All  of that is good, it helps me to talk, yes often quite rambling ,, but hey that’s ME, I do not apologise for that. 

    Your both lovely people, I am proud to know you both, x()x

  • Just to clear things up.  I have neither sent not received any PMs.

    The upsetting issue is my paranoia.  Because in the real physical world I often upset people without intending to or realising it.

  • Sorry DC, no no one has offended anyone, a misunderstanding maybe, please you haven’t said anything wrong at all honest,

     I apologised because I said to Robert that “I” thought you wouldn’t be offended, I took a chance that you wouldn’t be, turns out you weren’t phew, I appeared to speak for you, felt wrong when I did,

     all isvwell, no strange pm, all good, no one upset I hope, 

  • (Here is my paranoia speaking... if anyone is getting PMs from something claiming to be me, then it is not me, because I cannot recieve PMs and so I do not PM.)

    (...Where did I go wrong here? I DO support both Mr Math-Photographer and Mr LoneWarrior...!)

  • ...I am still online (but might have to scarper I know not when)...

    ...Now I read this reply from your good self, Mr LoneWarrior... What is going on? Where am I saying that anyone on this Thread has offended me? If I am countering anyone else then I do not get it... 

    ...My feeling of 'running away' might have become linked to being misunderstood... (I can do little about that...*sniffle*...)

  • Hi DC sorry if I in any way tried to assume what you thought, I only wanted Robert to know we all care and ok what I do know about you and many others is none of you would get to upset over the meaning of a word however it may seem. Deepest apologies if I have offended you. I hope you know enough about me to know I try my best to not speak for the majority or indeed individuals.

     X()x

  • ...Me again - I was not meaning to log on tonight, but I read this reply, and it is a good thing I did...!

    Mr Robert123 said:

    "I suspect that I've upset you."

    ...Oh my - NO way - Where on Earth did you get that idea, Good Sir? What part of what I said implied *that*? ...although I would not be surprised if I was 'misunderstood' yet again...  :-(

    "Being common or a snob is not about money but a state of mind."

    ...Yes, yes - This is what I meant - when I said that such people are 'happy to stay that way'! Regardless of conditions imposed, a person may seek to change themselves. Alas they might not always succeed, but it is the intentions meant.

    (I can only cite myself as example. I dislike most of everyone around me, with swearing, spitting, smelling, partuition, tarmacadam, drunkeness, urinating, throwing stones... but I live amongst them and have no interest in them and all of that. I am not happy to do what they do (it makes me Ill) - but they are totally happy (it makes them Thrive and prosper)...! Again, that is what I meant.)

  • The terms ' snob/common ' are also related to symptoms of autism.  I often am afraid to join groups of people in social situations because of shyness/autism and not knowing what to say or how to behave.  

    Later, someone from that group accuses me of being a snob by shunning their group and 'do you think your're better than us?' has been an accusation thrown at me more than once.  When in fact I don't join groups because of the fear of rejection.

  • Dear Robert,,, I don’t think you have “upset” anyone, finding the so called right word to describe certain individuals who just don’t seem to care about anything much is a tricky one.

    I think I can fully understand what you mean, I don’t see it as wrong or has upset anyone,

     I shall ramble on as is my way, I am unable to relax as first day back at work tomorrow (now) after a long festive break, anxiety levels high, 

    I feel comfy being here, leaning on the garden fence chatting with you and putting the world to rights eh?

    long ramble, hold tight it tends to meander.

    we each grow up living lives surrounded by our peers, we learn from them. I was growing up during such things as carry on films, comedians who used what are now racial comments, mother in law jokes, women were often called “ birds” , things that were considered ok, everyone accepted how it was, looking at all that now as I have in a tv program titled “ it was alright in the 70’s”. Makes me cringe, unbelievable that such ignorance existed and was considered ok.

    Sorry I get lost and wander off on a tangent, my point was that words mean many different things , depending on where and how each of us were brought up, so the word common changes as time passes, as does working class, 

     I am proud to call myself working class, I never had issue with being thought of as common, to me being I was living in a council estate, we had little money, my dad did drink which back then was all about socialising and fitting in, my mum brought up four kids, worked as a cleaner whilst doing that, we were a typical working class family, possibly poorer than the majority,?

    My clothes were hand me downs, at times wearing thin, 

    I painted that picture because regardless of the circumstances you are in it has no reflection on each individuals ability to actually care, 

    society has lost any sense of right or wrong, even if they do know it really is their problem, insular beings, lack of real community, self gratification, everything is easy, everyone should have! Credit is not just ok it is a must, I have no outstanding credit, I have a card, never use it, had to have one to allow certain transactions, 

    my car license is paper and yes still perfectly legal, 

    The estate I live on now has families that do not want to work, they do however expect and see it as a right to own massive TV sets, drink heavily, fly abroad for a holiday, wear the very latest fashion items, they are living a lie that society has said is the norm. 

    Oh dear I do go on, that sadly is a lost ability by most, People used to talk, just talk, the subject wasn’t overly important, but to really talk, to share that experience with a fellow being in equal mindset, not to disagree at every thing said, not to try and prove something, just to interact knowing it was just that, 

    Better try and get some sleep I suppose, up at 6:00am, 

    Thank you for sharing your times, good and bad, I would love to meet you one day, I think we would be ok,, Your a kind man, very thoughtful, you have standards, high sense of morality, decency, your one of the good ones as my mum would say.

     My mum and yours would have got on very well, not sure my dad and yours would, mine was a socialist, a big union man until the unions sold out the workers, 

    Take care Robert and I could be wrong but I like to st least think DC was not upset by your choice of words, 

    x()x ZzzZzzZzzSleeping accommodationRoosterAlarm clock MoneybagBlue carTools

  • I suspect that I've upset you.

    Let me rephrase my opinions, being common or a snob, is not about money but a state of mind.

    And in my extreme past I've dealt with both.  Even within my own family.

    My father, for example was poor his entire life but also an absolute snob.  He never had any kind of bank account but tried to pay utility bills through a bank because it made him feel important.  The banks either refused or added a handling charge.  We tried to persuade him to use the post office to pay the bills.  But he flicked his wrist in a dismissal action and said, ' Post offices are for those type of people!'.

  • people there to be crude, vulgar, common people with no manners.

    ...I sort of 'ran off' this Thread, but I was still thinking about it. I think that, by Terms such as "Snob" or "Common", it is indeed just a label - BUT - when the person labelled enforces that label of them, then, well, that is what is enforced from the point of view of the person giving the label. (This goes right back into history (predudice, etc.) ... and thus so long a debate that I am not interested in it -!)

    I keep thinking of trying this statement, here:

    "Common people" may mean as said there, plus I might add, people who are clones, energy-vampires, drones, in the majority (hence thier being "common" and not "uncommon")...

    But the defining thing is - **"Commoners" do not seek anything else and are very Happy to STAY that way**...?!

    (E.g. - In going with the flow, they are supported, thus are Common. An uncertain thing also flowing, is not Common, but is a Weirdo. Hopefully anyone gets what I mean, here.)