Hostile Environment

I think it depends on the gadget to be honest, an automatic washing machine is a huge time saver and so much easier.

A food processor for chopping things up and making soup.

I enjoy my kindle and use it pretty much everyday.

I think it all depends on how attached to gadgets you are, some people buy everything going and then it sits in the back of the cupboard for years until it's thrown out. Others like me see these things as tools and have the right tools for the life we lead.

I think the world always has been a hostile envirnment but today's hostilities are different. Gadgets and income haven't brought more free time - think of time spent choosing, buying, maintaining, updating - and most of all, worrying when it doesn't work or needs replacement. No, I wouldn't want to spend all week hand washing, dollying and mangling as did my grandmother, nor cooking over an open fire and preparing ingredients from scratch.

However, the world is easier to survive in, because of available food, shelter, something to barter [including money] and companionship. We don't have to carry clubs and spears to survive daily, because we have police, ambulances, the NHS, fire brigade, lifeboat service and so on. We have also developed moral and legal codes. None of these things is ever perfect, nor will be, but its better than the tools and societies our ancestors had. Once you recover from this difficult phase of your life, you can fall back on the above - and that is a great deal to be thankful for. We live in a basically free society, are free to complain locally or to Parliament, and our logistical systems work. 

I don't like the radio because DJ's talk to much, if I want to listen to music, I want to listen to music not somebody talking over it and why do they always talk over my favourite tracks and hardly at all over the ones I hate?

Well, things are starting to move, stuff will be out of the house in time for the electrician to come, then I can get a plumber in to sort out the bathroom, then start the decorating and stuff. Thats a big weight off my mind, I've been feeling so stuck and without others help and willingness to do things, nothing else could move. Now it all can start moving and I can start moving on with life.

Roy said:

constantly proving to a robot that I’m not a robot.

that a metaphor for being autistic in a neurotypical world Roy ?

This might interest - a study paper from last year (with less than ideal method of data collection - but good enough for me to think it supports a wider pattern I believe exists) https://arxiv.org/html/2607.14729v1

The paper shows that autistic people's written text is significantly more likely to be flagged as AI generated compared with non-autistic text by AI detection systems!

The double empathy problem is written into the software... 

completely agree with you about thinking it was all about trying harder but that's the cage we all can get trapped in

being autistic has been compared to being a fish asked to climb a tree

maybe another way to frame it is that there's no necessity on a bird to have to climb trees - why bother when they have the hardware to fly?

"non illigitimi carborundum" :-)

I find mass advertising a pain too. You turn on the radio for some music, and chances are you land right in the middle of some stupid ad trying to con you into using some service or another. The BBC is ad-free, true, but the trouble is I hardly watch it as it’s so woke.

I do find each day is getting harder to navigate, It often feels like the goal post is being moved just little a bit further away, I’m bored with constantly proving to a robot that I’m not a robot. Most of us have had a life of thinking we just needed to try a little harder.

Personally I have ‘people pleased’ for my whole life, it’s very easy to lose sight of what’s important. I’ve lost faith in the human race, maybe I just identify less and less with it. I’m trying to find a new hobby or direction but I don’t know what it is yet, 

Media being 24/7 seems to make the world seem very depressing, everything is captured on a mobile phone and streamed constantly. 
All we used to have was a black and white newspaper and  that was usually old news, I’ve stopped watching the TV news as they seem to have pundits who ‘paint more doom and gloom’. 

When I started at a Ford Motor Dealership in the 80’s we kept about 6 different sizes of tyres, they would fit about 90% of cars on the road. About 3 starter motors or water pumps fitted the entire Ford range. Now the parts can be different depending on which month the car was built.

The cost of diesel locally has now hit £2.00 per litre, the orange man keeps saying it’s short term pain, it doesn’t seem short term.

Is it possible to allot one day a week to yourself and do what you want to do? I’ve found in Cornwall that having no neighbours is really beneficial. Would you be happier moving and being able to enjoy your garden again?

A direct answer to you TheCatWoman 

TheCatWoman said:

Does the world seem like a hostile environment to you personally, not on a global level, but in every day life?

no -just bits of it.  By the time it gets to the whole world feeling hostile for me i know that I'm well and truly out of my comfort zone presonally.

There's now't wrong in keeping your own head above water if you're saving someone from drowning.

Best Wishes 

Phased

If we had less tech and gadgets then someone would have to take the time to pick up the slack, having had to hand wash and wring out a families washing by hand, I wouldn't want to do that again. Even when I upgraded to a twin tub, I still had to stand there and operate it.

When people talk about a "simpler life" years ago, I always think smpler for who? Life then depended on someone being at home all day to do the shopping washing, cooking, cleaning and childcare, for a family to be able to survive on a single income these days would be very difficult. 

How many men would be happy to stay at home and do all the home and child care, or would it be women that ended up doing it all and having to give up the independence they've gained? 

TheCatWoman said:

I don't believe that everything was better in the past, we had less stuff, but worked harder because of it and there was a lot of social pressure to keep up with the neighbours. 

When homes in the Highlands of Scotland had household gadgets installed, like a vacuum, fridge or washing machine (the old twin-tub type, as it was then), a survey found that the women were still working just as many hours - it was just that their homes were cleaner. It hadn't reduced their workload at all.

TheCatWoman said:

I need my car, everything here is to spread out and public transport poor.

Yep, so much of Wales is like that. I think it's difficult for anyone who has only known city life to appreciate what rural/semi-rural life is like.

TheCatWoman said:

I don't have a smart phone, but the way life is, it's getting increasingly hard not to have one

I have one, but I never use it for much of the stuff others do. I don't pay bills through it, or check my email. I don't go online at all on a phone, as my eyesight makes it uncomfortable.

TheCatWoman said:

I think we have less choice over the amount of gadgetry we have as non gadget sources are becoming rarer.

It doesn't help when the government moves so much almost exclusively online. 

Oh me too, a life shared would be good if it were equal, but like Alexa, I've ended up having to do an unfair amount of maintainance and emotional labour. I think it's the emotional labour thats the hardest, from having to remember everybody's birthdays to dealing with anothers mental illnesses. It's really hard to get any help when someones getting dementia, the way the system is now they have to ask for help, which for many is about the last thing that they're going to do, they already fear losing control and getting help just confirms their loss of control.

I need my car, everything here is to spread out and public transport poor.

I don't believe that everything was better in the past, we had less stuff, but worked harder because of it and there was a lot of social pressure to keep up with the neighbours. 

I don't have many of the gadgets a lot of people have, I don't have a smart phone, but the way life is, it's getting increasingly hard not to have one, I think we have less choice over the amount of gadgetry we have as non gadget sources are becoming rarer.

lostmyway said:

does that mean we have to accept everything else just for that situation to change?

Do you mean, can we completely reject society and live happily if we only have the sort of gadgets we had 50 years ago? I could probably do that if I moved to a remote cottage in the Highlands, though I prefer central heating.  

What I was saying is that life has always been difficult. The things that give us advantages, also bring their own disadvantages. I have to monitor and regulate my heating system, and have the number of a trained engineer to call. I have to trust experts to keep my car moving, if I want to retain my freedom and not be confined to my town, and so on. It's up to me whether I think a computer or a car is worth the hassle. 

Many people feel that the hassle is halved if you share you're life with someone else. Unfortunately, I always seem to choose the wrong partner and end up having to maintain them, too, as well as the various gadgets. 

TheCatWoman said:

there's a limit to how much furniture I can get moved,

Can your friend or his son afford to pay a removal company or man & van service to do this? 

If your friend is now in a care home and there isn't room for all his stuff, there may be a local charity who will collect furniture in good condition to sell in their shops.

I agree with much of that, but what I meant was you don’t really need many of the innovations we have today that didn’t exist in the past, like owning a car, a cell phone, or some gadget made to profit someone else. The point The Cat Woman made in her original point was that owning a car has its perks, sure, but the stress comes from maintaining it and paying for fuel. You’re talking about the social structures that existed at the time, and it's true women were treated like second-class citizens, but does that mean we have to accept everything else just for that situation to change?

I'm afraid you and I see history in very different ways. Up until the last few decades, people imposed 'normality' on each other, and it was hierarchical. Only some of the middle class and most of the upperclass had sufficient wealth to enjoy life and, even then, it tended to be white men. Women were either household decorations (if wealthy) or workhorses, having children, caring for them and being domesticv drudges, or looked down on as spinsters. Non-white people and working-class men were either little better than serfs or free but having to work all hours to make an insecure living. People who were gay or trans had to hide; those with disabilities suffered badly. They all had to snatch small happinesses where they could, which wasn't always possible.

I see the complexities of modern life as our exchange for slightly better, slightly more secure lives - but even then, for far too many, financial insecurity is a crushing burden. And we seem to be regressing to a new Victorian Age, with vast differences in wealth but still, too little happiness. I don't find modern life worse than the past, just different. 

Yes, I know I sound too doom-laden, but we all - whenever we live - face burdens that are too often crushing. But also, being human, we are all capable of seeking happiness wherever we can find it.

The world always seems like a hostile, intimidating and threatening environment to me, and increasingly so. Not the natural world, but the world of humans, and the world I am constricted to try and live in and navigate, knowing I cannot survive without the other humans. And the navigating of it, which is painful, scary and extremely difficult on a day to day basis, is so incredibly overwhelming, exhausting, and as you say, time consuming, that it leaves me struggling to do the things I have to do, with no time or energy to do any of the things I would like to do.

I didnt have the number or the name of the tyre place so I couldn't phone them.

I'm stuck with tidyiing up after the friend that used to live with us, due to his physical health and increasing dementia, he's not able to do this himself, his son has a massive bunch of stuff going on right now. My son's willing to help, but as he dosen't drive and I don't have a tow bar or trailer there's a limit to how much furniture I can get moved, even if I still had the physical strength to do so.

I'm so glad you're talking about others and not just me!

You're not alone, The Cat Woman. I think the real issue is modern life, with all its complexity that we’re expected to participate in to be considered “normal.” Humans are pretty simple at heart; most people just want a secure place to live, maybe build close relationships and friendships, perhaps have kids, and enjoy a reasonable standard of living. A balanced life isn’t something that requires many of our modern inventions. Much of it has been foisted on us from birth, largely by people looking to make money. I’m sure there were plenty of happy people in the early twentieth century who were content without our modern innovations. People still enjoyed life without the benefits of the Internet or AI.

I think, really, we have not evolved to live like we do today and it stretches people to their limit in trying to adapt to the pace of modern life. A lot of it I find unnatural.

TheCatWoman said:

even simple things like getting a tyre changed, it has to be ordered and I've got to go back tomorrow

I always work out what I need (eg read the details of the tyre from the side of the tyre) then call up to order it in advance of a visit to the tyre shop so I am not wasting time.

You have a lot of experience in life so hopefully can forsee these sort of things now and use your 6 decades of wisdom to avoid these pitfalls.

The suppliers of this world have deffo moved to a just-in-time supply system where they order what they need when they know they will need it. This avoids investment in stock they need less space. For the consumer it means we need to supply the info ahead of time where possible.

With some mechanical parts (eg engine or suspension) then they can often just call to the local depot and have it delivered.

I suspect that with you living in the middle of nowhere that there are fewer suppliers available so this is very much a local issue and will need extra advance planning.

TheCatWoman said:

I'm tired of tidying up bits and pieces of other peoples lives

Are you in the position where you can do this? Most of us have some responsibility for others and the obligations will follow us until we are no longer able to do them, but if you can just cut these other people out your life then it seems a logical step.

TheCatWoman said:

I want to concentrate on my life and my wants and needs and then I feel selfish.

This seems the way of the younger generations now so it is much more socially acceptable. Being selfish is absolutely fine so long as it is not at the expense of others.

I guess the challenge for someone of your age is that the impact of old age and poor health are likely to involve you needing someone to look after you soon, so burning bridges by cutting out those who could potentially help would be counterproductive (I am talking generally here rather than about you specifically).

Personally I am taking my "selfish" time now and am enjoying the things I love to do while I have good health and the energy to do them. The future is pretty uncertain so I want to make sure that by the time I am getting frail then I have as few regrets as possible and can make whatever end stage decisions I think are appropriate without feeling unfulfilled.

This is just my approach, I don't make recommendations for others in this respect.