Hostile Environment

TheCatWoman said:

even simple things like getting a tyre changed, it has to be ordered and I've got to go back tomorrow

I always work out what I need (eg read the details of the tyre from the side of the tyre) then call up to order it in advance of a visit to the tyre shop so I am not wasting time.

You have a lot of experience in life so hopefully can forsee these sort of things now and use your 6 decades of wisdom to avoid these pitfalls.

The suppliers of this world have deffo moved to a just-in-time supply system where they order what they need when they know they will need it. This avoids investment in stock they need less space. For the consumer it means we need to supply the info ahead of time where possible.

With some mechanical parts (eg engine or suspension) then they can often just call to the local depot and have it delivered.

I suspect that with you living in the middle of nowhere that there are fewer suppliers available so this is very much a local issue and will need extra advance planning.

TheCatWoman said:

I'm tired of tidying up bits and pieces of other peoples lives

Are you in the position where you can do this? Most of us have some responsibility for others and the obligations will follow us until we are no longer able to do them, but if you can just cut these other people out your life then it seems a logical step.

TheCatWoman said:

I want to concentrate on my life and my wants and needs and then I feel selfish.

This seems the way of the younger generations now so it is much more socially acceptable. Being selfish is absolutely fine so long as it is not at the expense of others.

I guess the challenge for someone of your age is that the impact of old age and poor health are likely to involve you needing someone to look after you soon, so burning bridges by cutting out those who could potentially help would be counterproductive (I am talking generally here rather than about you specifically).

Personally I am taking my "selfish" time now and am enjoying the things I love to do while I have good health and the energy to do them. The future is pretty uncertain so I want to make sure that by the time I am getting frail then I have as few regrets as possible and can make whatever end stage decisions I think are appropriate without feeling unfulfilled.

This is just my approach, I don't make recommendations for others in this respect.

TheCatWoman said:

even simple things like getting a tyre changed, it has to be ordered and I've got to go back tomorrow

I always work out what I need (eg read the details of the tyre from the side of the tyre) then call up to order it in advance of a visit to the tyre shop so I am not wasting time.

You have a lot of experience in life so hopefully can forsee these sort of things now and use your 6 decades of wisdom to avoid these pitfalls.

The suppliers of this world have deffo moved to a just-in-time supply system where they order what they need when they know they will need it. This avoids investment in stock they need less space. For the consumer it means we need to supply the info ahead of time where possible.

With some mechanical parts (eg engine or suspension) then they can often just call to the local depot and have it delivered.

I suspect that with you living in the middle of nowhere that there are fewer suppliers available so this is very much a local issue and will need extra advance planning.

TheCatWoman said:

I'm tired of tidying up bits and pieces of other peoples lives

Are you in the position where you can do this? Most of us have some responsibility for others and the obligations will follow us until we are no longer able to do them, but if you can just cut these other people out your life then it seems a logical step.

TheCatWoman said:

I want to concentrate on my life and my wants and needs and then I feel selfish.

This seems the way of the younger generations now so it is much more socially acceptable. Being selfish is absolutely fine so long as it is not at the expense of others.

I guess the challenge for someone of your age is that the impact of old age and poor health are likely to involve you needing someone to look after you soon, so burning bridges by cutting out those who could potentially help would be counterproductive (I am talking generally here rather than about you specifically).

Personally I am taking my "selfish" time now and am enjoying the things I love to do while I have good health and the energy to do them. The future is pretty uncertain so I want to make sure that by the time I am getting frail then I have as few regrets as possible and can make whatever end stage decisions I think are appropriate without feeling unfulfilled.

This is just my approach, I don't make recommendations for others in this respect.

I didnt have the number or the name of the tyre place so I couldn't phone them.

I'm stuck with tidyiing up after the friend that used to live with us, due to his physical health and increasing dementia, he's not able to do this himself, his son has a massive bunch of stuff going on right now. My son's willing to help, but as he dosen't drive and I don't have a tow bar or trailer there's a limit to how much furniture I can get moved, even if I still had the physical strength to do so.

I'm so glad you're talking about others and not just me!