Hostile Environment

You're not alone, The Cat Woman. I think the real issue is modern life, with all its complexity that we’re expected to participate in to be considered “normal.” Humans are pretty simple at heart; most people just want a secure place to live, maybe build close relationships and friendships, perhaps have kids, and enjoy a reasonable standard of living. A balanced life isn’t something that requires many of our modern inventions. Much of it has been foisted on us from birth, largely by people looking to make money. I’m sure there were plenty of happy people in the early twentieth century who were content without our modern innovations. People still enjoyed life without the benefits of the Internet or AI.

I think, really, we have not evolved to live like we do today and it stretches people to their limit in trying to adapt to the pace of modern life. A lot of it I find unnatural.

I'm afraid you and I see history in very different ways. Up until the last few decades, people imposed 'normality' on each other, and it was hierarchical. Only some of the middle class and most of the upperclass had sufficient wealth to enjoy life and, even then, it tended to be white men. Women were either household decorations (if wealthy) or workhorses, having children, caring for them and being domesticv drudges, or looked down on as spinsters. Non-white people and working-class men were either little better than serfs or free but having to work all hours to make an insecure living. People who were gay or trans had to hide; those with disabilities suffered badly. They all had to snatch small happinesses where they could, which wasn't always possible.

I see the complexities of modern life as our exchange for slightly better, slightly more secure lives - but even then, for far too many, financial insecurity is a crushing burden. And we seem to be regressing to a new Victorian Age, with vast differences in wealth but still, too little happiness. I don't find modern life worse than the past, just different. 

Yes, I know I sound too doom-laden, but we all - whenever we live - face burdens that are too often crushing. But also, being human, we are all capable of seeking happiness wherever we can find it.

I agree with much of that, but what I meant was you don’t really need many of the innovations we have today that didn’t exist in the past, like owning a car, a cell phone, or some gadget made to profit someone else. The point The Cat Woman made in her original point was that owning a car has its perks, sure, but the stress comes from maintaining it and paying for fuel. You’re talking about the social structures that existed at the time, and it's true women were treated like second-class citizens, but does that mean we have to accept everything else just for that situation to change?

I agree with much of that, but what I meant was you don’t really need many of the innovations we have today that didn’t exist in the past, like owning a car, a cell phone, or some gadget made to profit someone else. The point The Cat Woman made in her original point was that owning a car has its perks, sure, but the stress comes from maintaining it and paying for fuel. You’re talking about the social structures that existed at the time, and it's true women were treated like second-class citizens, but does that mean we have to accept everything else just for that situation to change?

If we had less tech and gadgets then someone would have to take the time to pick up the slack, having had to hand wash and wring out a families washing by hand, I wouldn't want to do that again. Even when I upgraded to a twin tub, I still had to stand there and operate it.

When people talk about a "simpler life" years ago, I always think smpler for who? Life then depended on someone being at home all day to do the shopping washing, cooking, cleaning and childcare, for a family to be able to survive on a single income these days would be very difficult. 

How many men would be happy to stay at home and do all the home and child care, or would it be women that ended up doing it all and having to give up the independence they've gained? 

TheCatWoman said:

I don't believe that everything was better in the past, we had less stuff, but worked harder because of it and there was a lot of social pressure to keep up with the neighbours. 

When homes in the Highlands of Scotland had household gadgets installed, like a vacuum, fridge or washing machine (the old twin-tub type, as it was then), a survey found that the women were still working just as many hours - it was just that their homes were cleaner. It hadn't reduced their workload at all.

TheCatWoman said:

I need my car, everything here is to spread out and public transport poor.

Yep, so much of Wales is like that. I think it's difficult for anyone who has only known city life to appreciate what rural/semi-rural life is like.

TheCatWoman said:

I don't have a smart phone, but the way life is, it's getting increasingly hard not to have one

I have one, but I never use it for much of the stuff others do. I don't pay bills through it, or check my email. I don't go online at all on a phone, as my eyesight makes it uncomfortable.

TheCatWoman said:

I think we have less choice over the amount of gadgetry we have as non gadget sources are becoming rarer.

It doesn't help when the government moves so much almost exclusively online. 

Oh me too, a life shared would be good if it were equal, but like Alexa, I've ended up having to do an unfair amount of maintainance and emotional labour. I think it's the emotional labour thats the hardest, from having to remember everybody's birthdays to dealing with anothers mental illnesses. It's really hard to get any help when someones getting dementia, the way the system is now they have to ask for help, which for many is about the last thing that they're going to do, they already fear losing control and getting help just confirms their loss of control.

I need my car, everything here is to spread out and public transport poor.

I don't believe that everything was better in the past, we had less stuff, but worked harder because of it and there was a lot of social pressure to keep up with the neighbours. 

I don't have many of the gadgets a lot of people have, I don't have a smart phone, but the way life is, it's getting increasingly hard not to have one, I think we have less choice over the amount of gadgetry we have as non gadget sources are becoming rarer.

lostmyway said:

does that mean we have to accept everything else just for that situation to change?

Do you mean, can we completely reject society and live happily if we only have the sort of gadgets we had 50 years ago? I could probably do that if I moved to a remote cottage in the Highlands, though I prefer central heating.  

What I was saying is that life has always been difficult. The things that give us advantages, also bring their own disadvantages. I have to monitor and regulate my heating system, and have the number of a trained engineer to call. I have to trust experts to keep my car moving, if I want to retain my freedom and not be confined to my town, and so on. It's up to me whether I think a computer or a car is worth the hassle. 

Many people feel that the hassle is halved if you share you're life with someone else. Unfortunately, I always seem to choose the wrong partner and end up having to maintain them, too, as well as the various gadgets.