How do people manage tech?

My kids are to far away to help much, my son's not very helpful as he dosen't use firefox and dosen't understand how it works, my daughter in law is a bit better and my step son is brilliant but always busy. I don't have anyone else to ask.

I outsource to IT support, that is my kids. They can do in a quarter of the time and with a tenth of the swearing that happens when I try to address computer or 'dumb phone' problems.

God, yes, those captcha things are so annoying, especially when you're supposed to pick the motorbikes and the motorbikes are BARELY in frame of the pictures!

That's true there is a kind of nerdish elitism which comes with technical IT information. All these things like the internet you need to sort out first. I help out my mum with her computer, I recently persuaded her to switch to mac and her phone to iphone. Which she likes now. But initially there was a lot of resistance because of the differences, moving files and folders and the general look. Mostly its the style your used to, I had to make her desktop and icons look like a windows pc.

Providers you just have to leave them, or threaten to leave them, if they don't set it up properly or you lose service you can go to the ombudsman.  A lot of these companies are crazy greedy and put profit before service they just take for granted that you won't leave. 

Troulble comes when you don't understand the explainations given, most people who know enough to explain things start at a much higher level that my understanding ends at.

My new computer still won't let me do much, I can only get on email and the newspaper, everything else is still getting me trapped in password loops.

I'm having trouble with the internet provider now too, unbeknown to me, my friend who I lived with and who has now moved out has got us locked into a two year contract that's far more than I need and twice as expensive too. I apparently agreed to this, although I didn't or rather we didn't as the account is still in my Mums name, when he said he'd take it over I though he meant the whole thing, not that he'd assume contol and leave us with the consequences of his dementia like this. 

Wht makes it worse is that EE have taken over BT and I loathe EE, they are the least helpful people I've ever come across, last time I had anything to do with them, was when they took over orange and swapped me to a "plan" I didn't ask for that gave me data I couldn't use and charged me £10 a go to get back into my phone even to get numbers from it, then they lost the numbers along with my original phone number and asked me for another £10 and I told them to take thier sim card and stick it where the sun dosen't shine. Trouble is round here we dont' have so many options for broadband and they all run on BT/EE cables so even if I did go to another provider I'd stil be paying them. I only just got it sorted a couple of hours ago and already their hassling me to send back the old hub, we're getting a new one on wednesday because apparently the one we have is really old, about 4 months old! I can't work out how they want me to send stuff back either if I just take it all to the post office and they do everything, if I have to print out a lable or use a QR code or what. I dont' have a printer or anything to use a QR code with. The customer [Dis]service guy asked why I didn't want this package with gongs and whistles, and who did I have my telly package with? I said freeview through the arial, I'm not sure who was more surprised me for being asked the question or him that I don't have one. I've since found out that they have a velnerable customer unit so I will contact them tomorrow and hope I can get it all sorted out.

Sometimes the niggly security things get to me. Mostly security, recaptcha - selecting motorbikes, crossings, hydrants endlessly or having to go through three layers then lock myself out. Its much easier to avoid as is very time consuming when you have to get technical. But some people really enjoy the technical side and explaining it.

I just tried your search engine link and didn't understand what it was talking about, it seemed another example of people talking to me at Alevel, level and me still being in infants

I don't know where you got this idea that I have opostitional defiance disorder from, I don't have it, I know someone who maybe does have it, but I don't and I also question the validity of it as a diagnosis. I've read about it, but I'm still not sure how it's different to a child being naughty and/or have a fit of the terrible twos, or if someone is being made to do something they really don't want to do or can't do by adults who are more interested in control than any educational value they might be trying to promote? I've noticed it's something that seems to more applied to women and girls than men and boys, which also raises my eyebrows and makes me question it. How do we know it's real and not another thing made up by big pharma to try and sell drugs? I refused to do sport at school, because I didn't like it and couldn't do it and even when I tried my best got shouted at for being crap, so I decided I didn't like this game and refused to play it anymore. Being caught up in a game and having it forced on you by others, is the sort of thing I'd be advising clients to walk away from, removing yourself from an area of conflict is often the best things to do. I refused to go to school for a couple of years as I was being bullied, hunted down through corridors and waited for outside the school gates to hit, spat at and generally shouted at and pushed around and none of the adults around tried to do anything to stop it or help, so I removed my self from the arena of conflict. School refusal is pretty common for autistic children so I don't think I was unusual in this

I was told that it's a learning difficulty by an educational psychologist, so I'll take her word for it as she will have known far more about such things than I do. She did question me in depth about it before reaching a diagnosis.

Seeing as I've been wanting and trying to learn about tech for over 30 years and failing, I don't think you could honestly say I'm resistant. I was better at it than some of the people around me when I first started, but they all got better than me quite quickly and seemed to take to it easily. It's not something that comes naturally to me, none of us are born knowing how to do tech stuff anymore than we are born knowing how to drive. I know I'm good at learning stuff and it's not always stuff I'm interested in either, I hated geography at school but was really good at most of it, the non maths part anyway. Maths being another thing I've never been good at and don't seem to get better at even with specialist teaching.

How long should one practice for and not get any better at something before realising that theres something wrong? Is 30 years long enough? Would you suggest that someone try  for a baby for that long without going to the GP, or that someone should not be able to get to grips with reading before seeing someone about dyslexia? It seems that all I get is 'keep trying', something I find very trying as I have been trying and failing, repeated trying and failing dosen't help either, trying to keep and open mind and telling myself this time will be different dosent' really help when it isn't different or at best differently crap

I tried my new computer earlier, before I came on here, I was allowed to read the Guardian, but not come on here, I ended up in the same wrong password loop as before without any knowlege of why its happening or how to make it stop, I came on here with my old computer the one I'm typing this on and was allowed straight on, no password malarky or anything, any ideas on why that was?

Hi Alice

You could be right in saying Apple have almost every angle nailed. I'm a big Apple fan too and I would never go back to a PC. My Apple journey began much later than yours with a third generation iPhone followed a few years later by an iPad. The big switch from a PC to an iMac was around 13 years ago. My iMac is ancient now so in April I replaced it with a new MacBook Air (a ‘Which Magazine’ best buy). It can do so much compared to my old iMac. I find the screen of the iMac easier on the eye but the MacBook meets my needs now.

The current generation of iPads are incredible. My iPad Pro is getting on in years and I have run out of space so most of my documents and rarely used apps are offloaded to iCloud. Not sure I could justify getting a new iPad just yet. I have an Apple Watch and use AirTags on my keys and bags. The Apple interface is so clear and commands are intuitive. Moreover, Apple customer support is second to none, even years after purchase. 

Recently, I used a friend’s PC which had a software issue and I tried to get support from Microsoft. It was a nightmare and all I could find was some blog which didn’t address the issue. Apple is just one phone call or email away and they respond to queries promptly - no hanging on a long call or waiting days for an email response. Having said that, the Apple operating system is so reliable that there wouldn’t usually be a need to make contact.

TheCatWoman said:

Therapy training dosen't help to overcome learning difficulties like this

One area I am not particularly knowledgable about is whether this is actually a learning difficulty or a selective resistance to training so I would be interested to hear your opinion.

You have talked in other posts about how you display Oppositional Defiance Disorder type behaviour when it comes to many things that you feel are being forced upon you. Do you think this could be a major factor here?

You display a potent ability to learn things that are interesting to you which is why this seemed worth considering when I thought about it.

TheCatWoman said:

How do I learn to use a search engine well

This guide should tell you how to make your search terms more specific:

https://www.instructables.com/How-to-Properly-Use-a-Search-Engine/

Due to the massive volume of data any vague search will give, it will prioritise things that are paying to be high on the list. By making the terms (AKA the words you type in when searching) more specific for what you want then you will narrow down the number of results and have less junk included.

It is worth thinking that if you are searching for something to buy then you are likely to get a lot of companies trying to prioritise their results in the search list even if they are only vaguely rated, so you probably have to dig through the results to find something interesting.

If you are just searching for information then there is less likelihood of companies paying to be high on the search list so you have more chance to find a good link higher on the list.

Learning how to get better with it takes patience and repeated practice.

When my partner needed a very basic course I found the local library could help. If you have a community centre, try that as well.

Therapy training dosen't help to overcome learning difficulties like this, the memory problems or dyspraxia when using things like mice.

There is no one I can ask, however nicely, they start at A level when I'm still in infants.

How do I learn to use a search engine well, when everything I type in gives me results that are useless, like 'visual stress tests UK' and it gives me results from Halifax Novia Scotia, or air fryers, and undead romantic fiction. Then theres the sites that won't let me on because I use an adblocker, stuff like that

 I feel as though I'm in an abusive relationship with tech and the tech is the abuser.

I get the issues you experienced with tech - I have seen each of them dozens if not hundreds of time in my career in support.

For the "how do I do this" sort of question - the best approach I always found was to ask nicely about how to do the thing and always remember the thank the person who told me. You often need to be persistent and not take offence if people seem busy or annoyed to tell you how to do something that they are the "gatekeeper" to the info.

A very important thing I found is to learn and store the knowledge when you find out what to do. Try to understand why it is this way if you can, be curious and absorb the knowledge as there is a good chance you can use it later. Keep notes and refer to them a you would have done on your uni course.

The internet has been immensely useful for this since the very early 2000's so learning how to use a search engine well is a key skill to building your knowledge - if you can't get someone to show you then try a load of questions in the search engine on how to use the search engine. Persistence is the key here.

You are intelligent (you trained to be a therapist for example) and can retain complex knowledge (you know a great deal about history for example) so the ability of absorbing tech knowledge is something you are more than capable of. 

Think back to your therapy training - what makes people have a mental block on a particular subject and how do they learn to overcome this? You are probably one of the most capable people here to answer this question.

I've heard of password managers but I'm not sure what they are, how they work or how I'd access one, being my luck I'd do all my passwords on something like that and then forget how to get into it.

I use firefox, I looked at chrome and edge but didn't like them, they felt unfriendly.

How did you all get started with computers? I guess I was fairly late to the party, before the internet I didn't really have much use for one, or as far as I know I didn't, I did try using word processors but I never had any instructions or guidance and questions were never answered, I felt like I was being silo'd by the people who were allowing me to use their computors. Like one ex, who let me type up some college essays, I wanted to print them out, but when I tried I couldn't because he had a whole other computer that was "security" for all his equipment, including the printer that I didn't have the password for. Apart from the inconvience to me being late with my work, he thought it was inconvienient that he had to give me the password for the printer. Another ex would say I could use his computer when he was at work and then not tell me how to switch it on, there seemed to be switches in all sorts of unexpected places, it caused arguments so I just stopped asking. When I was at uni and was given a load of equipment and a teacher for how to use it all, I got fed up as the first thing he did was complain and tell me how disapointed he was that I'd got a lap top instead of a tower. He also wouldn't tell me how to do the things I needed to do for my work, like how to do foot notes and inset pieces, because those things were later on in his teaching programe and would be included in about 6 months time, another friend had exactly the same thing with him, so it wasn't just me. Then when I'd finished uni I moved up here to a place with no mobile signal at all, apparently we were on the edge of several companies ranges, we also had terrible internet connection, so bad that BT offered us a refund because they couldn't run they're own speed test because it was so slow. In many places here you still get a better signal from Ireland than from Britain and there are still blackspots.

Firefox creates security-generated passwords. Only reason I still download that browser.

My main browser is Brave.

Hi.ArchaeC

I agree completely about Apple. Love how my iPhone and iPad synch and back up automatically. I store everything in iCloud which is brilliant and so cheap for the huge amount of storage. I’ve recently ditched my iMac desktop as it was too big and didn’t do anything the current generation of iPads can do. My very first Mac was a Performa 630 in 1993, it cost twice as much as top of the range Apple kit does now, I presume as they have dominated the global market they are achieving significant economies of scale.

Obviously Im a big Apple fan but I genuinely believe they have every almost every angle nailed, though I admit to knowing nothing about gaming and acknowledging that MS Office has always been superior for business applications. 

Thanks Iain, I don't mean to come across as agressive. I've got my little black book of passwords and other important information and I used it when trying to set up my new pooter, only it refused to accept any of them and kept sending me round and round in circles, I even tried using the existing password as the new password, all to no avail, that was when I hit melt down.

Often when people talk about computers they talk about things I dont understand as I have no context, I mean what does X number of gigabytes actually mean, or so much RAM, as far as I'm concerned a ram is a male sheep. I did get one friend to put it into how many films would it store, but even that didn't work that well as I just thought why on earth would I want to store so many films? The same when I ask about smart phones and people tell me I have to choose between apple and android and when I ask what that means I'm told one runs apple software and the other microsoft and I'm left none the wiser. If ony I could find someone to help, my knowlege is so basic most people don't know how to start explaining stuff to me and then others come along and tell me I should do something else and I get even more confused. It's the same when talking about the benefits of apple or microsoft on phones, I end up more confused not less as I feel like a bone between two dogs with everybody wanting me to agree with them even though I don't know what I'd be agreeing about.

Theres a bloke in the shop where I bought this computer and my new one from who comes across as a retired headmaster, the type who asks a question he knows the answer to and then when you're reply is "wrong" he gives you his answer, which isn't very helpful. When a friend totally messed my pooter and I had to take it in to be fixed, I ended up doing a "Jeremy Paxman" and kept asking the same question over and over again and he still wouldn't answer me properly. Most of my answers were 'I don't know' anyway as when I went in I told him what had happened and I didn't know what my friend had done to it and he kept asking what had been done and seemed confused that I didn't know.

I did try and see the woman who teaches tech at our local library, but she was one of the most autistic unfriendly people I've ever met and din't understand that I have learning difficulties that effect me, or that I can't use computers with over head flourescent lights in the room as I can see the screens flicker and get a minging 3 day migraine. Our libraries computers are really really old and often don't work and they're not being replaced, the signal is dreadful too, the whole of Llangefni is a blackspot and signal often drops to a point where nothing will load. Going to Lanfair PG is at the other end of the island to me and as it would mean using public transport too the whole things would be to stressfull and I'd be to wound up to learn anything. The station carpark is free, but also stuffed with tourists heading to the big EMW next door. 

So many of you seem to know so much and can do so much that I wouldn't even know where to begin like changing a hard drive, I'm glad you all have this much knowlege and without wanting to sound aggressive, it makes me feel even worse about my inability to master more than the very basics, I just feel so stupid.

So if I disapear one day and don't come back you'll find me under the kitchen table.

I'm a computer semi-geek - I know what everything does and feel confident playing with hardware and software - though that's only on something running Windows or Linux. I wouldn't know how to approach a Mac. 

The only thing I'd add to Iain's suggestions are to use a password manager.  1password is a Candian firm and one of the most accessible to a novice. It's not expensive, either - only around £2.50 a month. Proton (a Swiss company) offers an excellent free service, but it might be confusing to someone struggling with tech. 

Google offers a free password manager, if you use Chrome. Microsoft offers one if you use Edge. Firefox (another popular browser) also has one.

I first learned to use a computer by getting trained to use a massive Olivetti system. I forgot most of what I was instructed to do the next day so the session was repeated. I took notes of every action and I even copied the symbols on each key so that there would be no mistake of what to click. After repeating these actions over the next weeks, it soon became second nature. 

Years later I went on courses. As before, I had to take notes of every action to refer to later. Like many people, my short term memory isn’t reliable for things like that so the notes were a necessity.

Nowadays I use a Mac, iPad and iPhone. It’s set up so that if I start something on one device, I can continue it on another and documents can be accessed from any one at any time. If there is a major software update and the required actions to perform a task change, I can search for how to do this in the online instructions. If I buy a new device, everything in my old device is transferred automatically. 

I don’t know if you are wanting help or not. A while back I gave you the details of people who can help you in your part of Wales. The organisation was set up to deal with people in situations such as yours.

I used to be quite good with tech and moderated on a computer forum. I used to fix computers to for myself and family members. I used to follow Blackberry and Nokia phones. However, they changed and Blackberry stopped making phones.

I only liked certain forms of laptops and they stopped selling them so I lost interest in them and the computer forum closed. I still have the laptops I owned from 2008. I have two laptops and I just bought a newer version of one of them on ebay from Germany and got it sent to me as I liked using it so much. I like the dvd drives still and having a 2nd swappable battery to with the dvd drive. I used to buy Apple laptops but not any more.

I buy laptops where I can change the hard drive myself if I need a new  or if I don't want to I will take it to a computer shop locally and they will swap the operating system for me. 

I get a phone every 2-3 years and just transfer my information over.