Accepting being autistic…knowing the limits are there forever

I used to feel the same way when I was younger. I sometimes wish I wasn’t autistic either. But we only can all do our best to be our authentic selves, each and every day. I hope this helps!

everyone gets tired. it’s true. I haven’t got to the point where I’m pacing myself completely according to what suits me best, but I’m getting better at realising I’m not a superhuman haha

thank you for this message of wisdom…I always look at things based on what I don’t have and wish to be someone who has those things I don’t have. I think first thing is to stop feeling ashamed, but it might mean turning off my mask and asking for certain supervisions, which I do sparingly.

thank you for this. I struggle with feeling inferior, and the “everyone has their own path”, but seeing it written out by someone and reading it again helps. I feel I’ve understood myself more through falling down and feeling confused than I have when I’m feeling like I’m coping. Ironic isn’t it?

I wonder what makes those CEOs successful. I wonder if they have coping mechanisms, or healthy management strategies? I’m sure that they can’t have done it all on their own. Or maybe they’ve found success leaning into their special interest, and it so happens to help them become successful (I presume by success you mean financial?)

I wonder what makes a winner in your eyes? For me I thought and still hold onto, but fighting to let go of, the idea of winning is the perfect version of me. That version of me doesn’t have the autism as an obstacle, and is much more committed, consistent, and not crashing all the time. Me never being able to attain this in the way I feel I should makes me feel a loser. I’m trying to let go of it or I’ll forever feel a loser…

I wonder if it’s because we feel our “congratulations” is due to finally matching up to the social norms that we’ve been working so hard to fit into. Atleast that’s partly my experience. I feel my social battery is very good, there’s enough stimulation to keep me going, and I manage to get through conversations feeling satisfied with how each interaction has gone and how I’ve managed to successfully manoeuvre through them all

this forum has helped for the past year or more that I’ve been using it and reading others’ experience. even seeing you and others’ response is quite astonishing, I feel as if that it’s really encouraging.

I relate alot to what you described. The only place that gave me this sense of belonging is this forum so far. I hope you find your place here too. I'm sorry I would write something more, but I'm exhausted beyond limits recently. I often lurk here but taking part in discussions is hard.

I could have written this myself. Especially the bursts of inspiration and drive for a few months. I ‘congratulate’ myself on this and then I crash and burn into existential crisis. Repeat. It’s funny to think lot of us feel the same way but still feel alone. 

Thank you 

After I posted here about those thoughts months ago, my GP now always asks if I 've had suicidal thoughts every time I visit him.

I got a call from another doctor and she asked me if I've had any dark thoughts.

I used my main email address to sign up for the forum, so I guess I was asking for help.

Thank you for reaching out. 

Dear NAS71232,

There is no need to apologise, you are welcome to share your feelings with the community. I just need to point you in the direction of the services that are able to support with these feelings. We are not linked with your GP we just advise to seek support from them when struggling. 

I hope that things feel brighter soon. The community is here for you. 

Take care,

Olivia Mod

Sorry Olivia.

I over shared. People with autism think of suicide sometimes. I won't talk about it here anymore. Thank you for posting the links. I think I'll be honest when I see my GP next as he always asks if I have thought of it. The only way he could have known is from this forum. I didn't know posting here was linked to my GP.

Sorry if I was negative. Have a nice weekend.

Dear NAS71232,

Thank you for sharing your experiences with the community. It sounds like you have been struggling to cope recently, and I am sorry that you are being affected this way. I know that you shared some of the medical difficulties you have been having on your other post, I hope that some of the wonderful responses have helped you feel a little better. 

The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you are at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: 

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help.  

You could call your GP and ask for an urgent appointment – they can help you get the right support

If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support. In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.  

Other free, confidential support includes: 

• Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day 

• SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30-10.30pm daily)  

• Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day 

• Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am-6pm)  

 Remember, you deserve support and there are people who want to help. 

Take care,

Olivia Mod

I find it weird. There are CEOs with autism that are very successful, yet I'm looking for reasons not to cull myself.

I don't want kids and have no purpose for anyone in this world. I accidently form relationships and cut them off. A sad state of affairs.

I don't bother anyone, but autism is a spectrum that depends on the individual. From what I've gathered, if you're a winner, then autism is just an obstacle that can be jumped over. Unfortunately, I'm not a winner.

I definitely empathise <3 it is never easy and i 100% get the feeling of thinking things are changing then a crash and have burn out shortly after. Just know that you are not inferior, everyone has their own path and way of life, even if it isnt the way you pictured it, taking it day by day and trying to understand yourself will hopefully help

Everyone has limits and limitations, ranging from the physical, falling over your own feet, or swimming like a brick, to the mental and emotional, like dyslexia and being a weepy person. But its not what you lack, its what you do with what you've got thats important, its easy to allow yourself to be disempowered by your limtations or the limits others place on you, but it dosen't mean you can't do great things within your limits. You will never be able to switch off your autism, but you can make it a strength, you can stop being ashamed of it and hiding it and you are living in the world as it is, none of us really know how others percieve the world, when I say 'look at that pink flower' how do I know that others are seeing the same colour as me? I don't, whats pink to me, might be totally different to them, it's consenus reality that we all see things the same way. So, you've a rich inner life, I think thats great and many would envy you that as its something they don't have, for whatever reason one of thier limits is the ability to imagine, to visualise.

Dear aurelis,

I am really sorry that you have been struggling with feeling of not belonging, I know from my own experience that this is a very challenging way to feel. I hope you know that you are a valuable member of this community, and you are welcome to be who you want to be here. 

I can see you have already had some replies from our community, I hope that helps you feel a sense of belonging. I thought I would share some resources that may be helpful for you:

• Autistic fatigue and burnout -it has some really helpful advice about what to do when you are struggling with burnout
• Loneliness 
• Autism Services Directory -this is a great way to find support and social groups in your area. I thought it might help you to find a space that may be available for you locally to help with belonging

I hope some of this helps and that our community will continue to be a positive space for you. 

Best wishes,

Olivia Mod

It seems to me you are doing better than you think.

If you pace yourself you can do and function how you want. This is good, not failure.

If you can accept using your energy a bit more purposefully, using it when it counts, and accept resting is necessary and part of it, not a failure, you can do what you want to.

Work with yourself and not blame yourself. Don't feel guilty for resting.

Everyone gets tired. You just don't see other people being lazy.

thanks for your message, I really appreciate it. I wish I knew how to give some encouragement, but I’m in the same boat. I struggle with low confidence and self worth too, and try to hide those things when I’m among neurotypicals, or anyone for that matter …

I really empathise with your feelings, as I really relate. I’ve always suffered with very low confidence/self worth so when I was diagnosed at 33  over a year ago, it literally brought my life crashing down , we still struggling but still here ️, I hope that one day I can just be comfortable with life and that I will be able to do and enjoy what I want to do.