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idk what to do anymore

shannon_04

hi, idk what to even say but i’m so desperate for some form of help. i think im autistic. im waiting on an assessment atm but that’ll be a lifetime. i got diagnosed with bpd which i disagree with. i’ve begged for help. autism ni were useless, told me to phone the autism service where i live to see where i am on the list then told me i can’t have help after i said everytime i call it tells me try again later. i give up trying to call as it’s pointless anyways, im just gonna be told i still have 5+ years to wait. autism ni have since ignored me. i then emailed autism initiatives and they said they can’t help as i don’t have a diagnosis then gave me a list of places to contact, all of them apart from one which was autism ni were for people under 18 which was great as i am in fact 22 (which they did know) so it was a list of useless places because of my age. im just lost. idk what to do. 

  • Hi Shannon, firstly welcome to the online community. I'm so sorry to hear that your going through such a tough time. Both Stuart and Cinnabar offer some good advice. I've linked a few pages below that you may find helpful

    Our website has a diagnosis hub, this includes information, practical and multimedia resources to support autistic people and their families before during and after diagnosis.  

    You may want to visit the other resources on our website, we have advice and guidance on a wide range of information about autism, socialising and relationships, communication and education: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance 

    You can try searching on our Autism Services Directory for diagnostic services in your local area.  The Directory also includes listings for support and social groups for autistic people, their families and friends. 

    Also, You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health 

    All the best

  • Hello. This is kind of the problem with being an adult, help is limited.

    Things can seem overwhelming, especially so when when you are not sure of your own position. And even more so if you think about it and get sucked into negative thoughts about how it all seems too much.

    I would try to look at the things you are struggling with and write them down. This stops it being a cloud of competing thoughts in you head swirling round and gives you some specific items. 

    You don't need to be formally diagnosed to make changes. You can live as if you were diagnosed now. So remove some of the internal pressure, allow more alone time, don't feel guilty for resting, don't compare yourself to other people.

    Pick a practical issue and break it down into simple steps. Then think of what you could do to make it a bit easier.

    All the little changes add up.

    Try not to do too many things at one time. Try not to put everything off as it builds pressure. Try to do things in the morning, and when you are calm. It is easier. Don't be scared to ask other people for help, if there is something they can help with 

    I know this doesn't sound much. I was sceptical, but after a short while it will start to make a difference.

    Try to find someone you trust to talk to.

  • Hey shannon_04, welcome to the forum. Here at least you can don't need a diagnosis to chat about the difficulties of autism and have a bit of connection.

    Waiting times are all over the place and can be very hard to deal with. I think when it's so long, it's almost easier to live in an area that doesn't have any adult options except private, as then you know the NHS can't help, but when it's there but you can't reach it it must feel awful. Try take it easy on yourself as it's out of your hands.

    Either way, one thing that might be a good place to start is trying to break down what you actually need -I'm afraid autistic adults often don't get a lot of support, so trying to do as much as you can yourself is a place to start - after you figure it out you can see if there is help with any of the smaller pieces.

    Like going and speaking to your GP and saying you aren't coping, maybe they can offer some kind of therapy? And if you do, try then ask for one that is knowledgeable in neurodiversity so you are understood? Figuring out your needs and breaking this big scary thing of 'what do I do', into what I can do for this smaller thing first, then try and figure out the next bit. It's more manageable and less daunting that way.

    If it's about work, or benefits, (as the most pressing need to start with), then you can start asking where you can get help for each bit. It's very hard but often helping yourself is the only option anyway.  Also, finding ways to be calm to deal with anxiety,  and be more grounded is also worth trying, there is often talk about what people have tried here, and you need to find something that helps calm your nervous system that works for you, as everyone is different! (Try multiple things!) 


    Small steps, finding small achievable goals is a good way to deal with such a big problem.


    I wish you well.