What now after late diagnosis of ADHD, ASD and isolation…?

Everything you said is so relatable, it's hard when you keep butting up against those invisable barriers of not being able to do things other people find easy.  Take your time to work out what it means to you, it's all confusing and not always easy, but at least you have a community you can ask about things now!

Thank you so much. I hope i can…

I’m always worried i’ll say the wrong thing or i’m doing ‘it’ wrong…

I also feel like i ‘should’ (not a fan of that word) be able to perfectly explain to any person face to face exactly how i feel and why! 

Whereas i’m much more in a stage of relating and learning about myself through a new lens of AuDhd for now.

…for me even though i suspected for years, getting a diagnosis finally has led to a whole new raft of realisations and emotions. Which is good, and tricky, simultaneously!

Anything relatable is helpful to me, so thank you!

i feel alone in that i don’t know any neurodivergent people let alone any with similar experiences that i have with late diagnosis. I’m 51 i know people that seem disappointed and confused that i’ve not made contact with ‘old friends’ since my separation, diagnosis and moving area…Something that sounds so straightforward is actually not, and explaining the reasons why i haven’t feels like justifying myself, which then honestly in this new stage (approx 3 months) post diagnosis seems to result in me isolating and judging myself even more…!

Would much rather do stuff on my own time, but i definitely don’t want to be on my own forever!

My dog doesn’t judge though!

Hi Sophes and a warm welcome to our community. I hope you enjoy being here. I found out last year that I am autistic and ADHD. I found the post-diagnosis period challenging as I processed everything and reframed my life to date. It gets easier after that, at least it has for me. I like my own company too but sometimes feel lonely as I don't often get to hang out with other neurodivergent people in real life. Being on here helps to fill that gap somewhat. Good luck with your journey and I am happy to help you if I can. Go gently and know you are among people here who get it.

I recognise what you say about enjoying your own company and being resistant to socialising despite knowing that a certain amount of it is good for you. I have a group of friends from university who don't live very close to me, that I meet up with a couple of times a year. My wife is also very sociable so I end up seeing other people through her (often just going along with it despite not wanting to).

I am very happy with my own company but I still see a stigma around doing stuff by yourself. Even my wife, who ought to know me by now after 30 years, asks me if I am doing certain activities with someone else, or suggests people I could ask to go along to something with me (usually her friends husband's!) and I have to explain, yet again, that I like my own company! I don't know why she won't believe me!

Sorry, no advice and not a helpful post but you struck a chord with me and it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.

Sophes said:

i’ve been given some other news today and feel like I’ve regressed about 5 steps back emotionally as a result.

Oh no! That sounds terrible. I don’t know much about what is happening, but know that if you are feeling horrible feelings right now, that they are not forever. I can imagine that if you are facing rejection or criticism that it can be hard to take, but those feelings will eventually pass. If you need someone to talk it out with, you can DM me.

Hi Sophes.  It can be difficult to adjust after a diagnosis, so it's great that you've reached out and that you've already had some lovely replies from fellow community members.

Our website has a diagnosis hub, this includes information, practical and multimedia resources to support autistic people and their families before during and after diagnosis which you may find helpful.  Since you mentioned you are feeling isolated, you may also like to look at our information pages on socialising and relationships.

I hope you find this information helpful, and know that you will always find supportive people here in the online community.

Good evening!

thank you so much for your kind message.

i’ve been given some other news today and feel like I’ve regressed about 5 steps back emotionally as a result.

i wasn’t prepared, and i think that side of things, communication styles - and consequently RSD etc is greatly either underestimated or just not understood at all by your average neurotypical person… 

Good afternoon from America, Sophes!

Wow, sounds like you have dealt with a great deal of change within the last year. Change can be very hard for those with ASD to manage, especially such massive life changes as you’ve gone through. Remember to be kind to yourself, especially now that you have a clearer picture as to how ASD/ADHD has impacted your life.

Hey Sophes, welcome!

A lot of us here have come across our diagnosis late after struggling for a long time. I do find it easier to talk with people here, I'm rather awkward and rubbish at it in real life. I find it easier to discuss issues here and relate to other people's experiences. I hope you can too.