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What now after late diagnosis of ADHD, ASD and isolation…?

Sophes

I’d suspected my diagnosis for many years before i had it confirmed with assessments. (ADHD predominantly inattentive and ASD) I’ve been relating with some of the stuff i’ve read and seen on social media and understanding myself more over the last couple of months since diagnosis but am seriously struggling with loneliness (my marriage ended and i moved areas all within the last year too.) Very overwhelming.

i think looking back that the mask really began to slip when i had a hysterectomy aged 40, hormones etc? Combine that with a load of other stuff i won’t get in to … 

i do enjoy my own company and am resistant to when people suggest i socialise more, (even though i think this would be good for me!!) but i really would like a supportive, non judgmental and understanding network of some sort.

Does anyone else struggle with these things too? i really do want to move forward somehow and embrace this very new perspective of myself and learn and relate to others.

Any suggestions welcome (hopefully)!

Parents

  • I recognise what you say about enjoying your own company and being resistant to socialising despite knowing that a certain amount of it is good for you. I have a group of friends from university who don't live very close to me, that I meet up with a couple of times a year. My wife is also very sociable so I end up seeing other people through her (often just going along with it despite not wanting to).

    I am very happy with my own company but I still see a stigma around doing stuff by yourself. Even my wife, who ought to know me by now after 30 years, asks me if I am doing certain activities with someone else, or suggests people I could ask to go along to something with me (usually her friends husband's!) and I have to explain, yet again, that I like my own company! I don't know why she won't believe me!

    Sorry, no advice and not a helpful post but you struck a chord with me and it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.

Reply

  • I recognise what you say about enjoying your own company and being resistant to socialising despite knowing that a certain amount of it is good for you. I have a group of friends from university who don't live very close to me, that I meet up with a couple of times a year. My wife is also very sociable so I end up seeing other people through her (often just going along with it despite not wanting to).

    I am very happy with my own company but I still see a stigma around doing stuff by yourself. Even my wife, who ought to know me by now after 30 years, asks me if I am doing certain activities with someone else, or suggests people I could ask to go along to something with me (usually her friends husband's!) and I have to explain, yet again, that I like my own company! I don't know why she won't believe me!

    Sorry, no advice and not a helpful post but you struck a chord with me and it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.

Children
  • in reply to McFrost

    Anything relatable is helpful to me, so thank you!

    i feel alone in that i don’t know any neurodivergent people let alone any with similar experiences that i have with late diagnosis. I’m 51 i know people that seem disappointed and confused that i’ve not made contact with ‘old friends’ since my separation, diagnosis and moving area…Something that sounds so straightforward is actually not, and explaining the reasons why i haven’t feels like justifying myself, which then honestly in this new stage (approx 3 months) post diagnosis seems to result in me isolating and judging myself even more…!

    Would much rather do stuff on my own time, but i definitely don’t want to be on my own forever!

    My dog doesn’t judge though!