Anxiety about imminent holiday

I get very stressed too and also cancel holidays.

I'm sorry you are suffering. 

I wonder if your wife travelling independently might suit?

All the best with this.

Thanks B. I just want to stay here and hide with my books, cats and classical music. My mental health has always been fragile. And the more I understand about myself the worse it gets. Ive made four unsuccessful suicide attempts. Im diagnosed with c-ptsd as well and combined with ASC the outcomes are catastrophic. I get in the cyclic non-compute in my head which takes over, blanks out logic and reasoning. 

there is no help out there whatsoever. Samaritans just listen but don’t actually do anything, for the allotted 60 minutes then shut down thr converstion. Nhs mental health services gave repeated ly rejected me for trauma focused therapy and emdr as they consider me “too complex and too high risk” Ive tried finding a suitable psychotherapist privately but thats not worked either 

It is quite possible an impasse has been reached which will end the sale only a few steps from exchange of contracts. Im incandescent with my solicitor for advising me of the situation as her last task on a Friday evening before a bank holiday before my holiday in Wales. Im on my own, was checking the overdose potential of the meds I take but Ive not enough for certainty. Got to about to ring Samaritans but theres no point, nothing thry can di, I know as Ive been a regular customer and also on their lived experience consultation panel. 
 
As it happens one of my cats has sat on me, she is. So lovely and looks into my eyes, I need to hang on, am on my own atm

Yes that sounds really good. Having stuff on keeps the time rolling by, and the cats about you are like little furry balls of reality.  

Just holding on is all you need to do sometimes. Put everything else aside, that is not your problem for the moment, that isn't anything you to worry about.

The music is good. I went to hear a ladies accordian orchestra last weekend, and the music ebbing and swelling was so moving. Just feeling the music is truely wonderful. 

What colour are your cats? They can have such different coloured eyes too. They hold mystery in their eyes, and can hold you with a look.

Thank you again Cinnabar, Im trying the things Ive learnt to keep myself safe. Ive one of my cats close, Im in bed she on top, I have a Brahms string quartet quietly in background, doing best to be mindful and hold on until later. xxxx 

Please do, have you called an ambulance if there is a possibility of too much medication? It is good to ring both, even if you speak to them often, that's what they are there for.

Animals seem to know when you need help.

Please do, have you called an ambulance if there is a possibility of too much medication? It is good to ring both, even if you speak to them often, that's what they are there for.

Animals seem to know when you need help.

Yes that sounds really good. Having stuff on keeps the time rolling by, and the cats about you are like little furry balls of reality.  

Just holding on is all you need to do sometimes. Put everything else aside, that is not your problem for the moment, that isn't anything you to worry about.

The music is good. I went to hear a ladies accordian orchestra last weekend, and the music ebbing and swelling was so moving. Just feeling the music is truely wonderful. 

What colour are your cats? They can have such different coloured eyes too. They hold mystery in their eyes, and can hold you with a look.

Thank you again Cinnabar, Im trying the things Ive learnt to keep myself safe. Ive one of my cats close, Im in bed she on top, I have a Brahms string quartet quietly in background, doing best to be mindful and hold on until later. xxxx