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Anxiety about imminent holiday

Alice-nice-Alice

Hi everyone 

We are going on holiday next week and my anxiety about it is accelerating. I used to be such a good traveller but nowadays the preparation, worrying about how to take all my things I need to deal with sensory and health problems, the uncertainty about the hotel, parking, and just being away from our home feels like its going to crush me. I know my wife needs this holiday and I want to do this for her, and will, but it will be so very difficult. We have cancelled two european holidays in the last twelve months primarily due to my anxiety around travelling and as I said, being away from all my safety things and spaces, and our cats, and my library. 

Im not particularly asking for advice, Ive done all the cbt, grounding, breathing stuff time and over et and cet. I just always struggle with these trips now and given at the moment we are in the final phases of selling my house it will probably be a most stressful time. 

Thanks for reading this

Alice

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  • in reply to B

    Thanks B. I just want to stay here and hide with my books, cats and classical music. My mental health has always been fragile. And the more I understand about myself the worse it gets. Ive made four unsuccessful suicide attempts. Im diagnosed with c-ptsd as well and combined with ASC the outcomes are catastrophic. I get in the cyclic non-compute in my head which takes over, blanks out logic and reasoning. 

    there is no help out there whatsoever. Samaritans just listen but don’t actually do anything, for the allotted 60 minutes then shut down thr converstion. Nhs mental health services gave repeated ly rejected me for trauma focused therapy and emdr as they consider me “too complex and too high risk” Ive tried finding a suitable psychotherapist privately but thats not worked either