Making up problems

Holy Moses.....fellow human.....are you mentioning/alluding to matters of religion!?!

BRAVE - Cinnabar_wing ! ........but thanks for the reassurance, in any event.

I prefer not to tangle with officialdom.....especially daft officialdom......I'll dutifully return to under my stone/log = as I feel I must....and continue to watch.......quietly.....and increasingly infrequently.

Be well C-w.

Best wishes

Number.

I didn't think it was offensive, much in a similar vein to Father Ted, so to speak.

Apologies to the MODS for my ordering of some letters, in a way that (phonetically) they can then be made to sound like a rude word,  on this 18+ only forum.  Understanding da RULES here these days, is a challenge for a simple autist.

This place is STRICTER than the BBC these days!

MY censored "vibe" above could alternatively be expressed as;

a) "Next-level" messed up.

b) "Next level" re-torted.

c) "Next-level" problem.

I was just trying to "connect" with my fellow autists, in a way that feels genuine and honest.

Apologies for trying to do that in a way that was deemed inappropriate to da current management.

Apologies for not giving ONLY bona fide advice from selected and approved NAS sources, rather than trying to be part of a community that can share and feel inclusive.

Ta ta.

There are some suggestions here that might be helpful:

Psychology Today - How to get out of an autistic thought loop

NAS Professional Practice - autism and catastrophising

NAS - Anxiety

It can become so tiring as yet again I have to tell myself it hasn't happened, or if it has I don't need to keep thinking of it. Once my ruminations actually happened and it meant I was prepared to deal with the situation, but mostly it takes up a lot of energy. It is particularly unhelpful when trying to get to sleep. Currently I am fighting a lot of 'looping'. I think it is worse in dull or wet weather as walks are then less enjoyable. 

Often, I have to keep reminding myself that this is something that hasn't actually happened and may never happen and why do I feel the need to beat myself up in this way. It sort of turns the rumination back on itself and hopefully down a more fruitful path.

I've often asked myself what would happen if I had nothing to worry about? The answer seems to be that I don't feel safe, safety comes from this vigilance, almost everytime I've dropped my guard and taken things at face value and believed others when they say I'm ok or valued, is just before they all dump on me from a great height and my life is once again ripped up like waste paper and I have to start all over again. It's why I'm very wary of getting involved with people, luckily I don't work and so no longer have this anxiety around people that I have no control over being around.

Expecto_Patronum said:

My brain is trying to protect me but it's doing a terrible job

There is in my experience a problem that is kind of summed up by imagining what one might do if someone said to you "don't look at my nose".

I would contend that the first instinct is to look at their nose to find out why one should not! doh!!!

So then one may find oneself having to work mentally really hard to suppress the desire to so do...

This is why distracting oneself may be helpful until the drive for the unhelpful thoughts is diminished such that they may then be seen as somewhat less important and then may be allowed to pass into different states in my experience.

That is in my experience indeed a difficult skill to master when it comes to certain types of thoughts Expecto_Patronum .

However for some thoughts it is perhaps easier? One might observe, say, a chair for example. Observe the thoughts one has in doing so e.g about it's shape, colour, purpose, who normally sits in it for example.  Such thoughts as these may be quite easy to let pass.

However those thoughts which one gets "stuck" on (in my personal case events where I fear that I have done wrong or future events where I fear I will be unable to do without being wrong) this to me does not take place so easily.

On the sadly few occasions when I am happy and relaxed it is easier to do so - however to be happy and relaxed one needs not to be experiencing these thoughts...  Hmmm....

So firstly I have found it necessary to identify what it feels like to be physically and mentally relaxed and then use this as a comparative measure of current and past states - kind off like knowing what it is that one is aiming for.

For me I found this in "flow states" when engaged in physically or mentally focused activity in a safe environment.  Essentially enough other physical or mental activity to distract one from the "stuck" thoughts.

I also found it in moments when on waking I occasionally found myself in a calm state where thoughts were not rushing to intrude or run like freight trains through my mind.

This state of calm I then sought to replicate through what I believe to be widely called meditation.

A particular type of which is called "bubble meditation".  I have on rare occasions found this to be successful at allowing me to acknowledge a thought and let it pass.

I am at this point myself concluding that the bubble of the thought that I engaged with to reply to you is now passing.  As I do so I perhaps not surprisingly have observed another "bubble" of a thought regarding how to acknowledge a thought and let it pass - that of writing it down...

Best wishes

I have done CBT and I didn't find it helpful. One of the things they talked about was acknowledging the thought and letting it pass. How on earth you are supposed to do that, I never found out.

Yes I definitely think it is this. My brain is trying to protect me but it's doing a terrible job.

I've got a T-shirt (naturally = all identical / multiple iterations) that tell me when I need to flock off, with the birds of the sky.

Flap, flap, flap.......

Bless you Phased (and dear Patronum)......I must return to safer air [sadly]

Everyone's a fruit and nut case in that Suite - agreed :-) 

hehe lets try to put fear behind us (ohsh1t that's just where it can sneak up from!)

PS - I fear we are now at risk of being too "ableist" with our interchange here.  Rooks alone know, these days, where "one" might alight, with safety these days!.........I opt for the REALLY high roosts, amongst the mistletoe, WELL out of sight!!  Nutcrackers are frigging everywhere - nes pas?!

Nice!......

You're crow-baring my back-daw!....but I'm a hard nut, to crack.

Jay the force, be with you.

Blessing.

cool - there are other corvids -

be chuffed Number 

Thanks for the clarification on 'da toons.'  Appreciated.

Would love to stay longer......but I don't feel "relaxed" here, these days.

Times (and regimens) change = there are graven, craven ravens in this haven, these days....in my opinion/observations.

Till m'next interjection......be well.

Yours

Number.

seriously tho' I agree with your analysis Number 

It is perhaps rationalised from consideration that when one is vulnerable a lot of effort is expended trying to prevent future harm by predicting what might go wrong..

Unfortunately this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as one's behaviour can bias towards the likelihood of it occurring. 

Furthermore there is a balance between worrying what will happen and actually being open to experiencing what actually is happening and what might be less traumatic future outcomes 

This seems to be wrapped up with the need for predictability and problems with change that i personally experience in my own aspect of autism.

maybe one day things will be OK :-)

"da da daaa, da didit didit didit da da da daaa - ONE STEP BEYOND..." - Madness :-) 

Yep, me too.

I believe that this called "rumination" and experience has it to be a component of personal anxiety and depression.

In my experience the solution is to find a way of resolving the anxiety and depression.

Hehe as easy as that...  Of course not!  

Anyway what seems to work for breaking the rumination process for me is...

First one needs to recognise one is engaging in rumination and I believe that by writing this you have acknowledged this

Doing something actively demanding breaks the thought process.

A wise person told me once that if there is something that troubles one and something can be done about it then do it.  If not then tell oneself that when the opportunity arises to do something about it then one will.  E.g. coming up with something one may do to address the concern.

It is said also that observing the experience without judging it helps - if like me you are habituated to being hard on yourself this doesn't come easy...

I think that this is the domain of cognitive behavioural therapy and have found this helpful.  The tricky thing is that like any therapy one needs someone who not only understands the analysis and techniques involved but is also able to impart this skill to others.

If there was one thing I'd be quick to dump from my personal mental repertoire it would be rumination - I wonder though that if I did so my capacity for "deeper" thought would be lost...

Anyway...

Best wishes