I'm frustrated even though I had a fun day

I went to a fair or amusement park? [Spanish: una feria] and I had a lot of fun but the moment I got home I started overthinking and became frustrated. I'm new here btw. Just decided to join this community cause I want to talk I guess. Crazy things happen in my life a lot and these recent years I've been horrible at dealing with these things. Anyway I guess I'm a bit frustrated because I felt like I wasn't fully there? Like I was there enjoying myself and talking and laughing but I also found myself zoning out a lot and feeling out of place. Like I was there for a while then I wasn't. I also felt ignored sometimes? Idk I'm just kinda rambling at this point. I guess I was frustrated cause I was like not fully there when I should've. We haven't gone in a fair for years and we finally were able to. I really enjoyed it. Had lots of fun but I just kept zoning out and feeling out of place. It's not like my family members did anything wrong it just kept happening. Sorry if this is just a weird post

  • Hello Zena, welcome! 

    It does sound like the zoning out might be an unconscious coping strategy to deal with the situation and give you a break from taking in all the sights/sound/smells. I wouldn't feel bad on yourself for doing it, if it was somewhere you wanted to go.

    Though as Iain points out, you have to work out if you wanted to go, or just feel you had to go and that feel you should have had fun. If you can work that out, it helps you understand yourself!

    Hope you are feeling better!

  • Hello Zena, welcome to the community.

    I guess I was frustrated cause I was like not fully there when I should've.

    I would ask you the question - who is saying that you should have done this? If it is you, where did these expectations come from - try to trace them back.

    What I have found from talking with other people is that they are taking expectations they have "learned" from neurotypical people and assumed that these apply to them too.

    I found the healthiest way is to be able to pause and look at how you are reacting from time to time and think "does this feel natural or am I acting?" which gives me a good indication if I'm doing it for me or for other peoples expectations.

    When you can do this you get to be in your own moment all the time and you can take the pleasure in ways that work for you. If you are there as a part of a group them some compromises probably need to be made however.

    These sorts of places are overstimulating so it can be a challenge to control our reactions all the time so I would suggest do what feels right to you.